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Man and a woman had been dating for about a year and their relationship was taking a turn towards getting serious. Man
proposed and she accepted, however she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a babys. He said
that he loved her and that her measurements didn't matter to him. He also told her that his penis was also like a baby.
She said that she loved him and size didn't matter. Come the day of the wedding and all went well. That night the happy
couple checked into the honeymoon suite at the resort hotel.
The blushing bride was in the bathroom putting on a sexy nightie.
Her husband was in the bed waiting. As she entered the bedroom, she reminded him of her confession about her chest being like a baby.
"Don't worry honey" he said. She took her night gown off and her breasts were the smallest he had ever seen.
He said that he was going to get undressed and reminded her of his confession about his penis being like a baby.
As he took his pants off the new bride said, "Good God All Mighty. I thought you said your penis was like a baby"
"It is," he said, "9 pounds and 21 inches long!"
And another:
An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told
the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.
The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think
you understand, I want something very special."
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only
$40,000," the jeweler said.
The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take
it."
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by check. " I know you need to make sure my check is
good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.
Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."
"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"
Lastly:
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water
on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean
and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the
house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he
notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife
in Lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you,
darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His
son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "So... What happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you
puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on
the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . .
PRICELESS!!!
Hope that tickles
