News as its managed by Mouthpiece CNA
hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/changes-in-cabinet-other/1089278.html
PEASANTPORE: Ruler Loong has announced another round of Cabinet changes and political appointments aimed at addressing Familee's priorities and challenges as the Peasantpore moves towards the post LKY era.
The latest move is the third round of changes after the underdog Labour secured the Axis of Evil of Hougang, Aljunied and Punggol during the procedural 2011 General Erections.
Ruler Loong is dismayed that Peasantpore is going through an important transition. There is a push to weaken Familee by brave Jane Austen inspired netizens who often bash Ruler Loong's stingy social safety nets during the Hundred Flowers' Campaign helmed by player Heng $wee $wee. Red faced and wanting to accrue merit for Old Autocrat, Ruler Loong pushed through populist retail political gimmicks such as the Old Peasants' Generation Package and CondomShield Life for Idiots.
Ruler Loong said: "As Old Autocrat is meeting Lord Yama soon, Familee must consolidate its power and continue to balk ex-Regent's power bloc and Jane Austen bastard adherents. Dealing with both parties require loyal lackeys. Hence you see, I ape King Louis XIV and promote 3 non-descript jokers to full Minions. All three are from humble families so that I can remove them if they try to do something funny.
Ex-regent Woody, he very smart, married into influential family and uprooting him from the Regent role was rather difficult lor, thankfully got Durai to sully his wife's name and indirectly score some political damage on him. Remember he refused to give up power claiming he want to wait till economic crisis over, you think Familee stupid is it?"
Acting Labour Minister Overtime Pious X'tian Tan CJ and Acting Minister for Propoganda Lawlan Wong will both be promoted to full Minions from May 1.
Lawlan Wong will also be promoted to Second Minion for Misinformation. He is currently Senior Minion of Regime at the Ministry of Misinformation.
Ruler Loong said both minions have proved their loyalty to Familee and are not part of the extended Imperial Noble Kwa Clan by commonwealth marriage. Ruler Loong say since they own their political power to Familee, they have no need to work hard on the ground, no point winning the respect and trust of Peasants because they owe it to Familee, Ruler Loong hinted.
The social sector is getting a blow job with the promotion of Player Sammy Tan to Minion of Regime for Youth Sex, and in the Prime Minon's Office.
He will coordinate the drafting of decrees for local peasants' consumption.
The Health Ministry, which is always raising premiums while reducing state medical coverage, celebrates additional Minion of Regime joining them with the appointment of Dr Lam Ah Min.
Ruler Loong said Dr Lam advocates for old peasants to sue their children to pick up their medical bills, which Ruler Loong thinks it is an ingenious idea from the swine who started it all, Bastard Baba Walter Wanker Woon.
He added Dr Lam is a true blue Canton Black Guard and will no doubt think of new scams to pass more medical bills to peasants to ensure Health Ministry runs a profit annually. He likes Cantonese because they got this inherent dog-eat-dog mentality and will turn the Health Ministry into the next Cash Cow.
There will be two new Sex Mayors.
Flower Vase Denise Phua will take over Sammy Tan as Sex Mayor of Central Peasantpore CDC.
Meanwhile, Mayor for South West CDC Dr Amy Tek Khor will relinquish her post as she focuses on her new role as Co-Chair of the Bedok Reservoir Killing Machine, a place designated for poor destitute peasants to end their lives so that they will not burden state coffers.
Ruler Loong said Dr Khor will focus on implementing a ticket system so that poor and old peasants can pick the best time to end their lives and ensure state coffers are not stretched.
Ruler Loong said: "She used to talk a lot of cock, say we regime no tolerance for feedback, so I sabo her and send her to Reach to fix her. Now she wised up, seldom talk badly of me during Imperial Courts sessions. Now I asking her and pliant grassroots to tell old peasants that Bedok Reservoir welcomes them 24x7.
Taking over Dr Khor Teh Kor as Mayor at South West CDC is Low Yen Ling, another overachiever who has nothing better to do other than act cute for photographs or kissing peasant babies.
To pay more peanuts to Lackey Low, she will also be appointed as Parliamentary Sex Secretary at the Ministry of Sex Culture on despite her opposition to distributing condoms in secondary schools because she attends Sunday Church and pious X'tians, like Channel8 performers, do not use condoms.
Ruler Loong said that at MCCY, Lackey Low will help implement the Youth PAP Corps for Peasantpore programme, modeled after Jiang Qing's Red Guards. The purpose is to train youth moles who report on their parents, peers and community leaders who talk thrash about Familee.
Observers say the latest round of changes is part of the regime's continued renewal process, with the country's fourth generation of pro-familee minions and lackeys emerging from the bowels of Hell to swindle peasants.
Ruler Loong said other loyal lackeys will get their chances but they must remember that Familee remains First Among Equals despite the impending meeting between Lord Yama and Old Autocrat. He expects the newly minted lackeys and minions to craft more anti-peasants' decrees to benefit Familee for more political patronage.
hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/news/singapore/changes-in-cabinet-other/1089278.html
PEASANTPORE: Ruler Loong has announced another round of Cabinet changes and political appointments aimed at addressing Familee's priorities and challenges as the Peasantpore moves towards the post LKY era.
The latest move is the third round of changes after the underdog Labour secured the Axis of Evil of Hougang, Aljunied and Punggol during the procedural 2011 General Erections.
Ruler Loong is dismayed that Peasantpore is going through an important transition. There is a push to weaken Familee by brave Jane Austen inspired netizens who often bash Ruler Loong's stingy social safety nets during the Hundred Flowers' Campaign helmed by player Heng $wee $wee. Red faced and wanting to accrue merit for Old Autocrat, Ruler Loong pushed through populist retail political gimmicks such as the Old Peasants' Generation Package and CondomShield Life for Idiots.
Ruler Loong said: "As Old Autocrat is meeting Lord Yama soon, Familee must consolidate its power and continue to balk ex-Regent's power bloc and Jane Austen bastard adherents. Dealing with both parties require loyal lackeys. Hence you see, I ape King Louis XIV and promote 3 non-descript jokers to full Minions. All three are from humble families so that I can remove them if they try to do something funny.
Ex-regent Woody, he very smart, married into influential family and uprooting him from the Regent role was rather difficult lor, thankfully got Durai to sully his wife's name and indirectly score some political damage on him. Remember he refused to give up power claiming he want to wait till economic crisis over, you think Familee stupid is it?"
Acting Labour Minister Overtime Pious X'tian Tan CJ and Acting Minister for Propoganda Lawlan Wong will both be promoted to full Minions from May 1.
Lawlan Wong will also be promoted to Second Minion for Misinformation. He is currently Senior Minion of Regime at the Ministry of Misinformation.
Ruler Loong said both minions have proved their loyalty to Familee and are not part of the extended Imperial Noble Kwa Clan by commonwealth marriage. Ruler Loong say since they own their political power to Familee, they have no need to work hard on the ground, no point winning the respect and trust of Peasants because they owe it to Familee, Ruler Loong hinted.
The social sector is getting a blow job with the promotion of Player Sammy Tan to Minion of Regime for Youth Sex, and in the Prime Minon's Office.
He will coordinate the drafting of decrees for local peasants' consumption.
The Health Ministry, which is always raising premiums while reducing state medical coverage, celebrates additional Minion of Regime joining them with the appointment of Dr Lam Ah Min.
Ruler Loong said Dr Lam advocates for old peasants to sue their children to pick up their medical bills, which Ruler Loong thinks it is an ingenious idea from the swine who started it all, Bastard Baba Walter Wanker Woon.
He added Dr Lam is a true blue Canton Black Guard and will no doubt think of new scams to pass more medical bills to peasants to ensure Health Ministry runs a profit annually. He likes Cantonese because they got this inherent dog-eat-dog mentality and will turn the Health Ministry into the next Cash Cow.
There will be two new Sex Mayors.
Flower Vase Denise Phua will take over Sammy Tan as Sex Mayor of Central Peasantpore CDC.
Meanwhile, Mayor for South West CDC Dr Amy Tek Khor will relinquish her post as she focuses on her new role as Co-Chair of the Bedok Reservoir Killing Machine, a place designated for poor destitute peasants to end their lives so that they will not burden state coffers.
Ruler Loong said Dr Khor will focus on implementing a ticket system so that poor and old peasants can pick the best time to end their lives and ensure state coffers are not stretched.
Ruler Loong said: "She used to talk a lot of cock, say we regime no tolerance for feedback, so I sabo her and send her to Reach to fix her. Now she wised up, seldom talk badly of me during Imperial Courts sessions. Now I asking her and pliant grassroots to tell old peasants that Bedok Reservoir welcomes them 24x7.
Taking over Dr Khor Teh Kor as Mayor at South West CDC is Low Yen Ling, another overachiever who has nothing better to do other than act cute for photographs or kissing peasant babies.
To pay more peanuts to Lackey Low, she will also be appointed as Parliamentary Sex Secretary at the Ministry of Sex Culture on despite her opposition to distributing condoms in secondary schools because she attends Sunday Church and pious X'tians, like Channel8 performers, do not use condoms.
Ruler Loong said that at MCCY, Lackey Low will help implement the Youth PAP Corps for Peasantpore programme, modeled after Jiang Qing's Red Guards. The purpose is to train youth moles who report on their parents, peers and community leaders who talk thrash about Familee.
Observers say the latest round of changes is part of the regime's continued renewal process, with the country's fourth generation of pro-familee minions and lackeys emerging from the bowels of Hell to swindle peasants.
Ruler Loong said other loyal lackeys will get their chances but they must remember that Familee remains First Among Equals despite the impending meeting between Lord Yama and Old Autocrat. He expects the newly minted lackeys and minions to craft more anti-peasants' decrees to benefit Familee for more political patronage.
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