- Joined
- Aug 20, 2022
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Looking for some scolding or advice while i’m grieving over the cancellation of BTO
Looking Fori know it’s on me, i allowed it to drag on for too long… growing up, i’d always yearn to have my own family, i idealise the idea of dating to marry, applying for BTO, settling down as soon as possible. maybe it’s because being abandoned by my own mother, when she left my elder sister and i at the children’s home, or maybe it’s the feeling of uneasiness when my father remarry, i just want to find someone who love me, settle down, and just be happy.
first rs at 19, he’s older than me by a few years, probably think we were still young to settle down. so eventually we part ways.
second rs, we applied to a bto almost a year into our rs, but then he suddenly decided that rs is haram, and at that point in time, i know i wasn’t ready to convert, so again it ended. we even got our queue number on our first try, not quite a bad number, but he cancelled the bto application. at least the loss here is only $10 application fee.
and this third rs, we both agree that our goal is towards marriage. so about 8 months in, we applied for our bto and again, we got a queue number on our first try, we paid for unit selection. 4 days after we selected the unit, he cheated. things got bad, but idk why i thought i can forgive him and he promised he will change, so i believed. so eventually we signed the agreement of lease as well. but of cos, he didn’t change. he went on a bali trip in dec with his friends, but almost every night after 8pm, he claimed his battery died. right after he came back from that trip, he tell me he intend to go again in jan/ feb, with or without me, as i kept telling him that idw to travel because i wanna save money. things happened, we argued and i asked him to agree to sign the bto cancellation form. he signed it, he wrote a letter to me telling me that he hope i will not cancel it because he love me and he hope i give him another chance. he sent me this letter on 24 Jan.. but on 28 Jan, i found out that he flew to bali and i saw signs on high heels and manicure on his social media. eventually i saw a photo of him and that girl. so it proved all my suspicions right.
it feels so painful, and i honestly rather going through the phase of being abandoned by my mom, rather than to go thru this phase… now im 27, back to square one. whereas both my sisters have kids alr… i can’t help but compare myself to them… idk, i hope that you can either give me advice on how to move on or just scold me for staying too long..
