Ministers' Responses to Singapore's floods

[SneeringTree]

Yacoob: It's once in 50 years, or maybe once in 100 years, don't ask me, my maths is poor.

Mah Bow Tan: Singapore is a land-locked country, the floods are caused by Johor's water flowing downwards to Singapore.

Lee Hsien Loong: We have to live with it, we are a tropical country.

Vivian Balakrishna: You want a flood, tidal wave or tsunami?

Lim Boon Heng: Huh?

Lim Hng Kiang: How am I going to play golf when my course is flooded?

LKY: I predict more floods in the future.

Lui Tuck Yew: Most people stay home to watch porn when there's flooding outside but I've never watched porn in my life.

Khaw Boon Wan: I was naive. I thought Singapore will never be flooded.

Teo Chee Hean: Eh, you all still remember me ah?

 

[Ramseth]

Teo Ser Luck : The flood shall part at the second lane for YOG vehicles to pass.

 

[Spock]

WKS: Singapore has a long coastline, there are many points of entry for the floods to come in.

 

[Subok]

Nathan: I shall not speak until I am told to.

 

[radon39]

Lim Swee Sway: We should look at cheaper, better, faster ways to control the flood

 

[Baroko]

George Yeo: I am puzzled. But you can go and see your MP about it.

LHL: What to do? It has happened.

KBW: If our elderlies want to be safe from the floods, Johore Bahru is a good place to be.

LKY: Litter choking the culvert? I was waiting with my knuckle-dusters at the Cul de Sac.

 

[radon39]

Ng Eng Hen: the flood was a bargain considering what you are paying for. Else you will get tsunamis

 

[Baroko]

Nathan: I shall not speak until I am told to.

And my favourite song....."Silence is Golden". You donch know meh?

 

[SIFU]

LWL : floods:p i love them. my father used to read me peoms whenever there is a flood

 

[Rogue Trader]

Sumiko tan: Singapore flood because my Hurricane is here!

(ok sumiko is not a minister but i couldn't resist)

 

[Echo_O]

Lim Hng Kiang : With the wet weather, our women may have to get additional hairdos

 

[Brightkid]

Sorry, but another non-minister :

Ris Low : I shall wear my leopad prinz beekinee and swim in the longkang. Broomz man!

 

[kylie72]

GCT: If there are no floods, then I worry for Singapore.

 

[radon39]

Lim Hng Kiang: I regret saving Orchard road from the Flood, it cost me....

Yeo Cheow Tong: only 5% of sg is flooded, we still ahve 95% not flooded

PM Lee: People support floods because there are no protest outside parliament

Lim B H: I don't think my reading for the weather is strong enough for us to even consider asking for the opening of the MArina Barrage

 

[radon39]

MM Lee: Without the Marina Barrage and if there is a freak flood, within two or three years, the army would have to come in and stop it by building a dam.”

 

[radon39]

Wong K S: ‘This should never have happened. I am sorry that it has.’

 

[SneeringTree]

LWL : floods:p i love them. my father used to read me peoms whenever there is a flood

Hahah! Love this one.

 

[Spock]

LSS: Every month, when I see the floods, I feel so rich and the best part is, I know the floods won't go away.

 

[scroobal]

"Independent" Board of Inquiry: It was a confluence of factors that led to the flood. The pun is not intended.

Attorney General: I have concluded that no flood had occurred in the first place. Yes, it rained. Yes, water level did rise in Orchard Road but these are issues that are not relevant and therefore I have excluded them. No one will be found culpable as no flood occurred in the first place. I am upset that this is the second time a non-event has been referred to the Chambers for review.

Usual Apple Polisher from SMU: The govt of the day has to take responsibility and it was evident that they did. No other country would have identified the blockage as far as they did.

Dr Gillian Koh : I have diligently for 15 years given politically correct views of govt incidents when the press contacted me. Though I do not add any value to any discussion, at the end of the day what matters is that I always deliver. In this case Noah was the first documented individual to come across a flood.

Lionel de Souza : The Singapore govt must be commended for its foresight. The flood subsided faster than expected and I put it down to good infrastructure.

Stomper: I saw this couple making love on top of this car which was stranded at the corner of Orchard and Killiney Road due to the flood. There were children in the vicinity and they would have been affected by what they saw.

Makappa : SPG causes flood

Low Thia Kiang : (silent)

Chee Soon Juan: I am in contact with the United Nations Special Rapporteur Floods and I have been invited by Boris NGOsky, chair of the association of conduct and candour for the democratic chapter of freedon to give a lecture. I have written to the Sheng Shiong but the OA has refused my request for my passport to visit the wet market.

Constance Singham : I cried and I was dismayed when it happened. We blame the men as the women cannot be relied on to bail out the water everytime it rains.

Leong Sze Hian: At 10.12am, the water level reached 11 mm at 2nd marker located at Scott Road and Orchard Rd junction. At 10.14am it was 12mm. I have looked at the analysis and the statictics released by the Ministry and there is no explanation what the water level was at 10.13am. Can the Ministry provide an explanation.

TOC: We are taking a break and will not be commenting.

Chua Mui Hoong: I was born in Pasir Panjang and anyone born in Pasir Panjang will know a flood when they see one. I was speed dating at that time and I have to say that I was perplexed when I got a call from a friend telling me about the flood.

Sumiko: It was my mother that told me about the value of floods and how it rejuvenate the plains. I was at that time, having my merc washed and I realised how a single drop can turn to a flood in a hurry. I was intrigued and went down to Borders and bought the first book on floods.

 

[SneeringTree]

Leong Sze Hian: At 10.12am, the water level reached 11 mm at 2nd marker located at Scott Road and Orchard Rd junction. At 10.14am it was 12mm. I have looked at the analysis and the statictics released by the Ministry and there is no explanation what the water level was at 10.13am. Can the Ministry provide an explanation.

This is brilliant.