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Is it illegal for women to use the gents and for men to use the ladies? AITA to be mad and even considered reporting them to the authorities?

Mint Blue

New Member
Hi everyone, I apologise in advance as this post will be very lengthy but I try to keep it short.

I recently went to UK for my school’s overseas immersion programme and thereafter my parents came and we embarked on our European trip.

However, things got unpleasant and creepy for me at a McDonald’s in Germany. I saw an elderly woman who stood outside the gents for a minute but she left afterwards. I thought maybe she went to the wrong toilet.

Then as I entered, I see someone hesitating to open the cubicle and I realised it was a young woman. Since the toilet is small, she walked really closely to men peeing at the urinals and the urinals have no dividers. I am not sure if those men realised a girl had barged into the gents without asking but for me, I only realised it was a female when she exited the toilet. I checked with my mum who went to the ladies if the ladies are full and she said no. So it doesn’t make sense why she had to trespass into the gents. I was quite pissed off but unsure what to do. It was lucky that I intended to use the cubicle to shit and if I were there to pee, my privacy and rights will be severely violated.

I decide to let that incident go and not escalate to the restaurant’s management but this is not a one off. At another rest and relax stop in France, there’s a huge influx of tour buses with tourist embarking at the same time. For some reason when they head for the toilets, the female toilet is always full with a very long queue sometimes as long as 15 metres. That’s when I had a gut feeling that some shameless lady will barge into the gents again. And since I have a tendency to use the cubicles and I prefer privacy since young, as I exit the cubicle I see an old lady at the basin checking her face and outfit. Being the naive one, I thought she went in the wrong toilet but then I rethink that it couldn’t be that coincidental to happen the second time. I was pretty mad at that point. However that was not the worst experience and violation I have encountered.

At the later part of the trip, our tour guide brought us to Palace of Versailles in Paris, France. We decided to use the toilet before entering the bag checking area leading up to the attractions. That’s when it shocked me. I saw a 20 metre queue outside the female toilet. At least 50 ladies are queuing to use the toilet. And I know what would happen next, some ladies would barge in the gents and they did. My mum said some of them don’t even seem urgent, they are just lazy to queue up and proceed to directly trespass into the gents without even asking permission from the men inside or have the basic decency to inform them at the very least. Though some did ask permission, many of them just barge in without alerting anyone, some even enter in groups. I was extremely pissed. I consider myself mild tempered and I have never been so pissed off in my entire life ever.

Then I started to walk in and out of the gents to observe the situation. Though I did not manage to witness ladies barging in, some of them are in the gents when I entered. One lady exited the cubicle and washed her hands like no one’s business. I asked my mum to witness this. Since there are two doors, one leading to the gents and another at the entrance, we saw a young lady waiting outside the entrance but we are unsure why she did not go in if she already had the intention to. But 5min later I entered finally do my business after giving up on witnessing. I saw a young woman waiting right outside the cubicle. We both exchanged eye contacts. Since there are only 3 cubicles and the left two is occupied, which somehow she didn’t enter even tho it was vacant, I did not hesitate to walk pass her and slammed the door. I saw she was a little guilty and afraid when I just went in, but that was before I slammed it. I purposely took my own sweet time to use the cubicles to make those ladies wait. However as I exit no ladies was in the gents. But then another 3 Asian elderly asked if we could use the toilet, since they asked very politely and apologized we allowed them to use. They will pretty bold and brazen, they proceeded to push open the cubicles to double check if they are occupied, only to be pushed back by the men inside.

When my mum was there with me, she mistook and thought that the gents was non gendered restroom since there were so many ladies trying to enter. This shows how serious the situation is. I was so mad and began to voice out my anger, pretending to speak to my mum about how some of them just barged into the gents without asking, saying they were ill mannered. Some of the ladies that were queueing to use the gents have heard it and kept quiet. Another woman who is queueijg quite close the the ladies heard the conversation gave me a frowned smile and I was unsure what she meant. I then decided to record the footage of ladies outside the gents and their long queue as evidence.

My mum was very against this move. However, as I went out and told my dad, he did acknowledge it was inappropriate but then he took it lightly which made me wondered why . He started lightly joking by asking me if they seen my penis which made me so offended. I began discussing with my parents on the severity and gravity of the situation in the hotel for a few hours. My mum was very understanding and could relate to my feelings but my dad started saying I dwell on a small issue which made me very pissed that my own family could not understand my feelings.

I consider myself a live and let live person, so after the incident at Germany McDonald’s, I did not pursue the matter to the revenant authorities. But this was not a one off incident, it happened many times and somehow the men are okay with it. If the genders were reversed the ending would be very different. Some men would even be arrested for trespassing and even be accused of being a pervert. May countries laws favour women and I do not understand why. Which is exactly why I could not understand when a staff in approached regarding this incident said it was normal in France and I could use the ladies if the gents are full.

One thing I could not really understand is what have emboldened and embraced those ladies to just barge in and trespass into the gents with no single bit of remorse. What makes me more angry is that when one uncle complained of ladies using the gents, another uncle tried to be a white knight and sided with the ladies, telling him that the ladies are full so they used ours. I really did not know it’s normal in other countries and shockingly no one has complained and if they ever do, no authorities would take men seriously. At that point I really wanted to inform the security and even report it to the police and possible be willing to settle this in court and escalate it to the highest level.

No office but this kind of ladies are really a disgrace to all women walking on this earth. They have shameless and no sense of guilt. It doesn’t matter how urgent they are. They could have used toilets outside of the palace, knowing that tourist attractions are always crowded. If there are no toilets nearby, then those who are really urgent could ask permission from other ladies to let them queue first. But they did none of these, their first resort is to barge into the gents and violate our privacy, considering the fact that men have less privacy there as they pee in urinals as compared to women. In this me too era, there’s a huge prevalence of fake feminists fighting for female rights, in some cases in an egalitarian society where governments and leaders already treat both sexes fairly. Those females only want equality where it suits them, i.e. society should understand their urgency to allow them to use the gents but they would shout pervert and accuse men of indecency if they entered the ladies when the gents are full.

There are cases where men have long queues outside toilets like some football event where it’s a male dominated interest. The weird thing is that no men ever trespassed into the ladies despite the 30 metre long queue. So if men could abide by the laws and respect women’s privacy, why can’t women do the same? There’s some sexist notion and prejudice in this society we live in. If men were to use the ladies in times of urgency they would be labelled as pervert at best and even get the police called on by the ladies inside at worst.

So I ask u guys and girls, am I the asshole to be mad at those ladies barging into the gents? AITA to voice out my frustration to the ladies there? I believe I have been understanding enough to not escalate it to the authorities. Want would u guys do if u see one lady enter the gents? Would u confrotntjen or escalate it to the authorities? How about a handful of them entered? Would it be acceptable if they asked permission, even in huge numbers of them asking? Girls, would do rather queue for as long as u could and even be willing to pee or shit ur pants on the spot, as u could never ever pluck up the courage to even ask permission from the guys to use their toilets, let alone barging in without asking. Would u be mad or forgiving if let’s say the gents are full and have a long queue, and a handful of men started barging into the ladies without asking.

Some people said the reason as to why the female toilets always have long queues is because firstly, make and female toilets are equal in size, and the all cubicle format for the ladies would mean they couldn’t cater as many people at the same time as compared to men. Secondly they take a longer time to pee as they have to enter stalls and sit down. Thirdly they might be in their period which will take longer to change out a new one. Lastly they being kids into the toilet and it takes time. How were I disagree that these are the main factors causing the long queue. Men and women usually only need a minute and a half to pee and wash hands, and the four factors listed above does not justify the 50 people long queue. Since the ladies only have cubicles, it’s quite common and habitual for them to use their phones while sitting down. Some illegally smoke in cubicles while some workers secretly took a rest inside, with complete disregard to those ladies waiting outside. My claims have been confirmed as my mum smelled smoke inside and some staff were hogging the stalls.

These are the reason why ladies always have long queue, based on mine and my mum’s experience. She too also couldn’t understand why they take so long as she only took an average of a minute to pee and wash hands. Since gents have urinals they are less inclined to use their phones.

All in all, these incidents have scarred me pretty badly and I began to be overly suspicious and wary whenever I see long queues outside female toilets, for fear of them barging into the gents and violate my privacy. This could be even be classified as sexual harassment. The thing is this happens in many countries like China, USA and other parts of the world where women just barge into the gents with no remorse and no actions have ever been taken. If the genders were revered those men would be jailed on the spot for criminal trespass into the ladies.

If u guys and girls want to leave a comment, may I trouble u guys to declare ur gender as I am curious how both genders react and feel about risk incident. Thank you for making it this far.