In step

[RiverOL]

[td]

[td width="370px"]

[td]

Mistakes in Gathering​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[td width="160px"]

[td]

[ 1 min read ★ ]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[td]

[td width="550px"]

[td]

. . . if anyone thinks he is something,
when he is nothing, he deceives himself—Galatians 6:3

When we men relent and finally accept that we’re designed for community with other men, we nearly always start with the wrong criteria for choosing which men. We often plot and single out guys that are cool or rich or connected or well-educated or who’d be good to know from a work perspective. And, if we don’t fall into those traps, we choose guys that are just a lot like us. We each think, subconsciously almost, “If I’ve got to devote myself to a handful of other men, I’m going to make sure they have some strategic value to me—worldly value, to my career or to my social standing—or, at the very least, they’re men who won’t challenge me or make me uncomfortable.”

Such plotting is a mistake. It’s driven by pride—that we somehow know better than God how these communities should come together. We must instead follow the blueprint given us by our King, Jesus Christ. He never once used this “strategic value” analysis. Throughout the Gospel, he spent time with people whom God the Father wanted him to—people with whom it made no sense to spend time, from a worldly perspective. Adopting this blueprint, the Apostle Paul wrote: “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight” (Romans 12:16).​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[td]

[td width="550px"]

[td]

Okay, so what do we do?

Pray that God brings the right men. Allow him to connect you to men who are willing to commit and surrender, willing to be transparent, are desperate for him. Be forewarned, though, the group that comes together will probably look nothing like what you expect . . . and that’s good. Groups we create ourselves, based on worldly criteria, aren’t worth our time. Groups that God creates for us are worth everything.​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

​

 

[RiverOL]

Is Doubt a Threat—or a Tool—for Christian Faith?​

I have increasingly encountered this Christian valorizing of doubt in sermons and informal conversations.

Christian Thoughts about Doubt​

Frederick Buechner famously wrote that “Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith. They keep it awake and moving.” Several Christian writers have extolled the virtues of doubt—even for Christian living. Two of them are the great English Methodist pastor and theologian Leslie Weatherhead in The Christian Agnostic (1965) and Gregory Boyd in The Benefit of the Doubt (2013). (I have reviewed Boyd’s book here earlier.) Paul Tillich, of course, famously claimed that doubt is part of faith in The Dynamics of Faith (1957).





As I have moved into semi-mainline, moderate Protestantism (neither fundamentalist nor liberal) I have increasingly encountered this Christian valorizing of doubt in sermons and informal conversations. I grew up, however, in a form of Christian life that treated doubt as pernicious and destructive of true Christian faith. I remember one evangelist who preached that we should always “believe our beliefs and doubt our doubts!”

Help Thou My Unbelief​

Recently, I re-read Emil Brunner’s Dogmatics III: The Christian Doctrine of the Church, Faith and the Consummation (1962). There, the Swiss theologian criticizes the common Christian attitude that says “I believe; help Thou my unbelief”—as an expression of normal Christian faith. He says there that one should struggle to move beyond this tension between faith and doubt so that doubt moves into the background and faith in God emerges as dominant.

And yet one of my favorite Bill Gaither songs is the haunting “I Believe; Help Thou My Unbelief.” (I can’t quote the whole song here but you can find the lyrics on the web and hear it sung by the Gaither Vocal Band and others on YouTube.) I say it is one of my favorite songs because of its brutal honesty.

I Believe; Help Thou Mu Unbelief (video)​

​

Is doubt a necessary, even helpful, aspect of Christian faith? Should faith conquer all doubt so that we regard as heroes of Christian faith those who seem to have risen above all doubt?

I think the answers to these questions must begin with definitions of “doubt.” Much confusion is caused in Christian (as other) conversations by multiple (unstated) meanings of words.


I think it would be helpful if people would make clearer what “doubt” they mean when they talk about doubt as a positive aspect of the life of faith, of Christian living. |
Insofar as “doubt” indicates skepticism toward God, genuine unbelief, resistance to the submission of trust, I judge it to be always only a stage on the way to stronger faith and not an element of faith itself. This “doubt” is a disposition that resists trusting reliance on the truth of God and God’s Word. This disposition is an indicator of the continuing liveliness of “the flesh” (as Paul calls the fallen human nature). It is a sign of need for greater submission to the transforming work of the Holy Spirit, renewing the mind.

Questioning, Examining, Reflecting​

Insofar as “doubt” means lack of absolute certainty it is merely a sign of finitude. Similarly, insofar as “doubt” means partial understanding (of God and God’s ways) it is merely a sign of finitude. I take it Paul is referring to these when he says that now we see in a glass dimly and only in the future will we see face-to-face. In this sense of “doubt” it is an element in faith because it constitutes admission of not-being-God. We are not capable, at least in this life, of “thinking God’s thoughts after him.” His ways are higher than our ways and his thoughts are higher than our thoughts. Admitting that is no sign of unbelief and stands in no tension with true faith.


Insofar as “doubt” means questioning and wrestling with notions about God we are told to believe but have trouble believing I judge it to be part of the process of “examined faith.” We are instructed in the New Testament to “test all things” and “hold fast to that which is right.” Questioning, examining, reflecting, thinking critically, using our God-given intellects to reason—these can look like “doubting God” when they are only doubting human ideas about God with a disposition of wanting to believe and understand only what God has revealed. This “doubting” is an aspect of what James Sire has called Discipleship of the Mind (1990).

Disposition of Resistance​

I think it would be helpful if people would make clearer what “doubt” they mean when they talk about doubt as a positive aspect of the life of faith, of Christian living. Insofar as doubt spurs us on to greater dependence on God’s revelation and faith and insofar as doubt causes us to question half-baked notions promoted by Christian communicators, it is positive. Insofar as doubt constitutes a disposition of resistance to God’s self-communication and dependence on him alone for self-understanding and understanding of answers to life’s ultimate questions communicated in God’s Word, it stands in tension with faith and is something to overcome with prayer: “Lord, I believe; help Thou my unbelief.”

 

[RiverOL]

[td]

[td width="370px"]

[td]

We’re Here, Now What?​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[td width="160px"]

[td]

[ 1 min read ★ ]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[td]

[td width="550px"]

[td]

Love one another with brotherly affection—Romans 12:10

We can’t live the full lives promised to us by our King, Jesus Christ, if we’re not in regular, authentic community with other guys. And the Church* can never be the Church—not as God intends it—if men aren’t connected in that kind of brotherhood. There are many ways the Church is supposed to work, but through men in community is a primary one.​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[td]

[td width="550px"]

[td]

Okay, so what do we do?

The Apostle Paul gave us a framework. He wrote that we must be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10). We must make a handful of other men a priority in our busy lives, setting them above and ahead of other things—not God, of course; maybe not our families; but, really, most everything else (Philippians 2:3-4).

Paul wrote that we must commit to honesty and transparency (Ephesians 4:25; 2 Corinthians 12:9) and accountability (Galatians 6:1-2). Community doesn’t work without them. It just doesn’t. And we must not presume we know how to “fix” each other, but rather should trust God the Holy Spirit to do all work that needs doing (Romans 12:3). Without meaning to, we can do damage—spiritual, relational—when we offer fix-it advice to men who’ve been vulnerable in sharing struggles. It’s much better to listen and ask open, non-judgmental questions and pray—something else which Paul says we must do together . . . a lot (Romans 12:12).

He wrote that we must encourage one another to live boldly and confidently in our faith, keeping each other “fueled and aflame,” and we must support one another, so that no man burns out (Romans 12:11 MSG). He wrote that we must stand with one another, helping each other through hardship, so that no man falls away from God in hard times (Romans 12:12; Galatians 6:2).

* Note: The word “Church” here does not mean any building or denomination, but rather all of the people gathered together by God the Holy Spirit to follow Jesus Christ.​

[/td]​

[/td]​

[/td]​

​

 

[RiverOL]

The Wise Choice​

I was recently speaking on the issue of sacrifice. Most people don’t really like the idea of sacrificing because they believe it is all about giving up something that is of value to them. However, consider the proper definition of sacrifice: “The forfeiture of something highly valued for the sake of something of greater value.”

Another word that is akin to “sacrifice” is “self-discipline.” A wise person knows that he must place certain restriction on his life, though it may be difficult and painful. He knows it leads to his ultimate good.

Stephen Covey demonstrates this is his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

“Self-mastery, self-discipline are the foundation of good relationships with others.”

Of course, we don’t often think that way. That’s a foreign thought to many of us. He goes on to say:

“Some people say that you have to like yourself before you can like others. I think that idea has merit, but if you don’t know yourself, if you don’t control yourself, if you don’t have mastery over yourself, it’s very hard to like yourself except in some short-term, superficial way. Real self-respect comes from dominion over self.”

It’s similar to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6, when he writes:

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be mastered by anything.”


In other words, I won’t let anything in the world have mastery over me, where I become a slave to it. And then Covey says this:

“The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but who we are as people.”

Back in January of 2019, I wrote a blog titled, “A Life Without Constraints.” The idea for this blog came from Jonathan Haidt’s popular book, The Happiness Hypothesis. Haidt is a professor of psychology at the University of Virginia and seems to have good insight into the human condition.

In the book he speaks of Émile Durkheim, one of the founders of sociology in the late nineteenth century. Durkheim performed a massive scholarly study, gathering data from all across Europe, studying the factors that affect the suicide rate. All of his findings can be summarized in one word; “constraints.”

He discovered that no matter how he parsed the data, people who had fewer social constraints and obligations were more likely to kill themselves. Durkheim concluded from all of his research that people need obligations and constraints to provide structure and meaning to their lives. This is what provides order and keeps out chaos. It is a key to finding joy and happiness in life.


For so many modern people, this becomes an issue of freedom—being free to do whatever their heart desires. They believe this is the key to happiness.

The great scholar Os Guinness shares some profound words on this. He says freedom is not simply being able to make whatever choice your heart desires. It is making the right choice, the good choice, the wise choice:

“When everything is permissible, no one is truly free. It is ironic, but not accidental, that millions of people here in America, ‘the land of the free’ are in recovery groups for one addiction or another.”

 

[RiverOL]

Contentment – Enjoying The Process Not Just The Result​

But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.



“…One of the greatest life lessons you can ever learn is to enjoy life through the process of attaining your goals.”

David D. Ireland, PH.D. in Secrets of a Satisfying Life





On any given day, women across the nation will be caught daydreaming of tomorrow. Not that daydreaming is a bad exercise; sometimes the most winning plans have been hatched during these mental wanderings. The kind of musing that hinders rather than helps is different. This troublesome visitor incites disappointment, frustration, and impatience. It never allows for the beauty of current life to hold sway.

Life Is Always In Process​

While there might not be any hard evidence to this fact, it’s pretty clear that society in general places a weighty amount of pressure for individuals to succeed on many levels, both personal and professional. Today’s adult will necessarily hold multiple roles, each one vying for their attention and interest. If they are smart, they recognize the fact that today’s responsibilities do not define their life as a whole. Life can change in an instant, and often does.

We Can Experience Contentment Every Single Day​

There is something to be said for getting into the rhythm of your days. Viewing life, the few and far between glamorous moments with the more mundane, yet serviceable bulk of today as all worthwhile. Everything we do in the next twenty-four hours, prepares us in some measure for tomorrow. Whether we long for greatness in some obscure professional field or simply hanker to excel at gardening matters little. Our focus, our intent, must be on giving our all today…toward whatever we turn our attention.

Learn To Love The Process​

Sadly, countless individuals spend precious time wandering mentally into tomorrow’s unknown feeding their feelings of discontent that eventually overrides their good sense. Yes, today’s difficulties do take a toll. Still, armed with the right outlook, individuals can use these hardships as stepping-stones to future success. It’s all in the viewpoint and the end goal. Learning to take everything in its turn enables people to invest in this day’s work while eyeing hopeful possibilities.

Author David Ireland reminds us that as we seek to live fully on this given day, “…the destination seems nearer and the view is more picturesque.” It is possible to be totally present in the now and still have a vision for tomorrow. It is!




The enemies of contentment:

• Exhaustion- mental, emotional, and physical, take care to daily balance work/rest.
• Purposelessness – dream big and then make practical plans.
• Unreasonable expectations – be satisfied with doing the best you can.
• Shortsighted Perspectives – today’s shortfall isn’t the last or final word.
• Selfishness – discipline yourself to look beyond your own wants/needs/desires.