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I have not had sex with my wife for 6 years

Discussion in 'The Courtyard Café' started by MarrickG, Aug 22, 2011.

  1. MarrickG

    MarrickG Alfrescian Old Timer

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    [​IMG]

    IT was love at first sight and we've been married for over 30 years. We are blessed with four grown-up children who are all working. We also have three grandchildren. Unfortunately, all these seem not to add to our happiness.

    Since my retirement, my wife has become overly suspicious. She accuses me of having several affairs and abuses me emotionally and physically.

    I've tried telling her that it's all her imagination. I've explained that I have always been truthful and sincere, and sworn in the name of God that I'm innocent. But she doesn't listen and repeatedly calls me a liar.

    It has been over six years since we were last intimate. She never allowed me to touch her all these years. Although we sleep in the same room, we are miles apart.

    I don't want to make matters worse by sleeping in separate rooms. I'm hoping that time will solve this predicament and everything will become normal again.

    But my patience is running out and I'm not getting any younger. How do I make her understand my innocence?

    We're like two strangers in the same house. Every time we start to have a conversation, we end up quarrelling and won't talk for days. She never admits that she is wrong and often lives in the past.

    I have asked her for evidence of my affairs; so far she hasn't provided any. I even asked her to call up my friends to check on my character. She won't do so, but says I'm a crook and am cunning enough to erase all evidence.

    She breathes down my neck all the time. When we are out she always keeps me in her sight. She never trusts me to be alone. Apparently, I'm under house arrest.

    I don't have access to the phone as she keeps it with her all the time. If I need to make a call, she would dial the number and wait for me to finish the conversation.

    But she communicates with anyone and everyone.

    She says she is of perfect character. There's nothing wrong with her looks. She outshines me and others of her age with her beauty.

    Outside she appears charming, but when it comes to matters concerning me, she becomes alarming. Her good character and high morals are unquestionable. However, her suspicious nature has jeopardised my life. At times I think of suicide. Currently, I'm thinking seriously of separation.

    I'm not perfect. I made some bad financial decisions while working and lost a lot of money. However, she was calm then and went through thick and thin with me. She never showed signs of hatred towards me during those bad times. Why now? These days she hates me like hell. But I'm certainly not a womaniser. I'm also not a woman basher, nor do I want to confront her head-on.

    Only her family and my children know about this. They tried to help by talking to her, but she is adamant that I'm a dirty old man. She gets agitated every time they attempt to convince her otherwise.

    To the outside world, we seem to be a nice, normal couple. We never gossip about our private lives with third parties, but I don't know how long this is going to last.

    The grief and pain I'm undergoing is difficult to explain. I need solutions before the situation results in separation or suicide.

    IF you have done nothing to stir up your wife's suspicions and jealousy, what could have caused such behaviour from her? She must love you very much to be so possessive and watchful. But she refuses to be touched, or to share the joy and happiness that both of you so deserve in your golden years together.

    Yes, you have every right to feel wrongly accused and abused emotionally. However, instead of thinking suicide or separation, or wallowing in grief and anger, perhaps you should consider that your wife needs help.

    A normal person does not change drastically. Although she appears the same, her behavioural patterns have definitely become extreme.

    Discuss this with your children and do not give up on your wife so easily. Consider medical counselling to establish the root cause of her suspicions and the change in her nature.

    You mentioned that she had always been calm and supportive, taking the good and bad with grace and dignity. So what has turned her into a paranoid, unreasonable woman who cannot bear to be touched by her husband?

    Record down the changes over the last six years and try to remember if there were certain things that you did that triggered her paranoia and agitation. What had provoked her emotional insecurities and distrust towards you?

    She loves you but she continues to suspect that you have many lovers, many affairs. It is a sickness if you are there by her side every day, giving her no basis for such thoughts.

    Try love therapy even if she rebuffs your efforts. Take her for holidays, a movie or just a meal together. Be with her at all times and offer to let her answer your phone when it rings.

    Show her in many ways that she has nothing to fear or worry about. Allay her suspicions by showing her that you can be trusted because you love her more than anyone in the world.

    If you still love your wife, help her to save your marriage. After 30 years together, you deserve to share the last good years happily ever after.
     
  2. Ash007

    Ash007 Alfrescian Old Timer

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    Sounds like the wife having PMS. For some reason, women in Singapore likes to claim their husband cheated on them as they grow older.
     
  3. middaydog

    middaydog Alfrescian Old Timer

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    Married over 30 years still want to fukk

    Go out and fuxx somewhere la
     
  4. 中国Power

    中国Power Alfrescian Old Timer

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    Guess what Nationality?!
     
  5. tonychat

    tonychat Alfrescian (InfP) Old Timer

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    It's times to regain your singlehood again. Sinkie woman is such a liability, why waste your life this way?

    Maybe he didn't fuck her so she suspect. Then hell, sinkie woman, sexy up yourself !!!!! Thai women dun have such problem.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2011
  6. syed putra

    syed putra Alfrescian Old Timer

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    There is always some problem when a man retires and stays at home all the time.
    The wife is not used to this thing i.e. seeing the man at home doing nothing.
    In japan, it triggers divorce cases.
    In many homes, quarrels over trivial matters due to the husband beeing in the way of the wife.

    Best get some hobby that will ensure you are out of the house all day and come home only i the evening, like before retirement.
     
  7. Raiders

    Raiders Alfrescian (InfP) + Mod Old Timer

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    Since the wife is so sure that he is having an affair outside, then the husband should go out and prove to her that she is right :D

    A marriage with suspicion all the time hurts both parties emotionally.
     
  8. tonychat

    tonychat Alfrescian (InfP) Old Timer

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    The man has no right to be in the house? what nonsense is that. Then get the woman to get used to it or else then declare each have their own life and move out.
     
  9. tonychat

    tonychat Alfrescian (InfP) Old Timer

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    I pity that guy.. life is so much fun and enjoyment and he has to deal with such bullshit
     
  10. saratogas

    saratogas Alfrescian Old Timer

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    He made a mistake by giving up the forest for a tree... Now the tree don't find you interesting any more...
    When love ends that's where the marriage ends too.

    I have friends who divorce in their old age, more for their freedom and escape the constant nagging!

    Just make sure that you guard your wealth properly before the divorce.
     
  11. tonychat

    tonychat Alfrescian (InfP) Old Timer

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    Your friends are smart, at that age is about enjoyment and retirement and relax with friends. No need to endure bullshit emotional nagging from some old sinkie hag.
     
  12. Froggy

    Froggy Alfrescian (InfP) + Mod Old Timer Old Timer

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    Jump ship now before anyone gets killed
     
  13. kulgai

    kulgai Alfrescian Old Timer

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    Actually, this is early onset of dementia. Most ppl wont believe this because she seems normal in every other way. Early onset of dementia can cause the afflicted with suspicious thoughts and there is no way to convince her otherwise. It will only get worse..
     
  14. johnny333

    johnny333 Alfrescian (Inf)

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    Maybe that's why I see so many uncles/aunties at the library :confused:

    Other than for the free aircon:)
     
  15. Alamaking

    Alamaking Alfrescian (Inf)

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    LOL, quite true, hahahaha
     
  16. Raiders

    Raiders Alfrescian (InfP) + Mod Old Timer

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    There are alot of cute prc chcks there using the free wifi also :D
     
  17. streetsmart73

    streetsmart73 Alfrescian (InfP) Old Timer

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    hi there


    1. uncle, don't like that leh!
    2. married people do have sex hoh.
    3. honest, i seriously believe the wife has much to blame.
    4. woman at that age is damn suspicious one!
    5. plus hyper naggy.
     
  18. Froggy

    Froggy Alfrescian (InfP) + Mod Old Timer Old Timer

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    song-san-phuchai-mak-mak . . . . . damn sad case
     
  19. middaydog

    middaydog Alfrescian Old Timer

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    bork koa ma har khun ti krungthep, par koa pai tee karee
     
  20. HellAngel

    HellAngel Alfrescian Old Timer

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    Dun you know that divorce man are now hot property amongst single women?

    I have a friend who had been screwing around ever since his divorce. Why would he want to remarry again?


     

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