How many of U marry using own $$

[tonychat]

Parents will be parents.. they volunteer to sponsor to precisely do that: get you to avoid being in debt.

One gracious way is to accept, but pay back in full, money and filial piety-wise. Above all, spend less money and spend prudently.

Yes, correct. But i would like to add beside spend less and prudently, is to earn more.

 

[pia]

I believe once you are graduated and start to work...you should be responsible for all your expenses.
The money should reserved for their retirement.

Young couples should spend within their limit and not overstretch their loans.
Without this kind of responsibility, they will run into debts sooner or later.
and
when time comes, they ask parents to bail them out.

:( :(

True, sadly there are these types. But that's life... there are good parents who deserve better children, and conversely, there are good children who deserve better parents.

 

[hughgrant]

holding wedding dinner not neccessarily will lose money if you invite the right type of people. ang bao can help to cover the cost.

 

[tonychat]

holding wedding dinner not neccessarily will lose money if you invite the right type of people. ang bao can help to cover the cost.

Frankly speaking, this sort of wedding dinner thing can do without. I ask my fren why he needs to hold a dinner.

He says parents want it. so i guess if they want it, they pay for it and all the ang bao got it during that time belongs to them. So any gain and lost is their business. That is fair, right?

 

[ANDYSIAO14]

me used me own $$
dont want to involve any siblings or parents..be it my side or her side...
almost $25k finished...well spent...living happily...

 

[tonychat]

me used me own $$
dont want to involve any siblings or parents..be it my side or her side...
almost $25k finished...well spent...living happily...

If use own money can prevent a lot of pending problems later.

 

[ANDYSIAO14]

ya bro..use own $$ we feel it...
broke halfway also we feel it...
no owe there no owe here...
even tho me a typical sinkie sometimes also feel sad at
other sinkie when theirs failed ,be it small or big amount
spent on weddings :p (especially to those just built only 3-4 years )

 

[tonychat]

But most chinese want face and pride....5 star wedding dinner + over budget renovation seems to look good on themselves.

That is the problem with the chinese, my thai chinese fren's wedding even invite a high ranking govt official to attend to bring up the face value and reputation of the family. That official is linked with corruption.

I guess chinese is the same all around. Face = unhealthy boost of ego.

 

[tonychat]

ya bro..use own $$ we feel it...
broke halfway also we feel it...
no owe there no owe here...
even tho me a typical sinkie sometimes also feel sad at
other sinkie when theirs failed ,be it small or big amount
spent on weddings :p (especially to those just built only 3-4 years )

Yah lah, that is the best, no problem everywhere. It is better not to own others anything or else trouble comes.:p

 

[ANDYSIAO14]

when about to marry , the ego suddenly boost up...competing with no reasons sumtimes...many la in spore...
known at least 5 good friends now whom all spent around 20-30k not including their honeymoon trips to euro countries... theirs collapsed like 9-11 like that!!!!

that time when they called for lim kopi at night , i scared liao... :p
but what to do...go and hear la

 

[tonychat]

You mean their marriage collapse?

 

[ANDYSIAO14]

yup...they are back to singles...
and still summiting maintenance $$ to their ex....

 

[hughgrant]

Frankly speaking, this sort of wedding dinner thing can do without. I ask my fren why he needs to hold a dinner.

He says parents want it. so i guess if they want it, they pay for it and all the ang bao got it during that time belongs to them. So any gain and lost is their business. That is fair, right?

holding a nice dinner will let all the relatives on both sides that the girl is marrying a well to do man and it saves the groom "face". imagine no dinner no food, people will either say he cheapskate or bo lui

 

[ANDYSIAO14]

yup...word " bo lui " always in the mind of couples that are going to marry...
scared what will people say...
want to carry balls also hard nowadays , so this the only way...
spend alot...faces saved for the day... but come tomolo another one big headache if anything negative surface along the marriage :p

........cheapskate or bo lui

 

[tonychat]

yup...they are back to singles...
and still summiting maintenance $$ to their ex....

Gosh, woman charter.... sorry if i have to say this, marry a woman in another country, pls.. btw, why they divorce? adultery?

 

[travelbug]

holding a nice dinner will let all the relatives on both sides that the girl is marrying a well to do man and it saves the groom "face". imagine no dinner no food, people will either say he cheapskate or bo lui

Relatives think you bo liu is a very good sign. Cos in times of economic downturn, they will avoid you like a plague. So you don't need to entertain those leecher relatives! And even friends too. Always PRETEND you have no money that you struggle very hard to earn one cent.

 

[SaigonRaider]

Wow, I thought I was the only man in Singapore who did not gave my wife a "HOTEL STYLE/CHURCH STYLE" wedding. I was really poor then and everything was made simple. But she never did complain all these while. I was lucky that she endured the hard times together with me. We are much better off now. Both of us hold good jobs now, no debts, no children.

 

[tonychat]

holding a nice dinner will let all the relatives on both sides that the girl is marrying a well to do man and it saves the groom "face". imagine no dinner no food, people will either say he cheapskate or bo lui

I dunno if that is important. Marriage to me is a 2 person thing. it got nothing to do with other people. It is a family affair, non of the business of others. pai sei, i am too out of being oriental.

 

[ANDYSIAO14]

one couple -adultery...BOTH!!! kns i hear also i heart pain...but both really jialat couple la...
lucky the guy very rich...no problem for him abt $$...

another one - cant see each other face always quarrel...this couple got 2 kids somore..
problem started after the 1st child is born...
i more blur that time...got kids but end up quarrel cannot see face... (wonder how they made love :p)

....btw, why they divorce? adultery?

 

[SIFU]

Wow, I thought I was the only man in Singapore who did not gave my wife a "HOTEL STYLE/CHURCH STYLE" wedding. I was really poor then and everything was made simple. But she never did complain all these while. I was lucky that she endured the hard times together with me. We are much better off now. Both of us hold good jobs now, no debts, no children.

no children?? government dun like u..

but who r they to tell us how many children we want..