If that is your true story, sad.
I was once also afraid to court girls, but I got over it because I realise that it's better to try than regret.
I recall that there was a girl 2 years my senior I liked but she rejected me as we had "character differences", but still kept in touch now and then as good friends and she even attended my wedding. After my divorce, we met up once to catch up on old days. In a conversation, she revealed that I had opened to her at the wrong time - she had just broken up with her BF then (which was true) - otherwise it could have been possible.
Did I go after her? Haha, nope. After a good 10 years since my courtship, the relationship had become too platonic. Also after this long time, I also agree that the "character differences" were real. For one, she's very superstitious and a strong PAP supporter.