arigato .

[chuckyworld]

Have a laugh, from funny.com

What They Say vs. What They Mean

Women's English:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain.

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

The same old thing = Nothing

Nothing = Everything

Everything = My PMS is acting up.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

 

[Ramseth]

who is your father or uncle ? that gunman , ah huat ?

I can't tell you who they are but I can tell you they had nothing to do with Ah Huat, just another guy L**.

I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is Important.

That's a good one for Women's English, deserving uppoints. My American ex-GF once yelled at the top decibel "I'm not yelling!!!***!!!" to me too. WTF and WTD? :*:

Even Led Zeppelin, Van Halen or Def Leppard stadium concert couldn't match that decibel. I quickly said, sorry, busy dear, something important and urgent to attend to now and went out for her to cool down before I dared to come back.

 

[drifter]

I can't tell you who they are but I can tell you they had nothing to do with Ah Huat, just another guy L**.



That's a good one for Women's English. My American ex-GF once yelled at the top decibel "I'm not yelling" to me too. WTF and WTD? :*:

Even Led Zeppelin, Van Halen or Def Leppard stadium concert couldn't match that decibel. I quickly said, sorry, busy dear, something important and urgent to attend to now and went out for her to cool down before I dared to come back.

sure anot lim ?

 

[Ramseth]

sure anot lim ?

Since you can spell it out thus far, please don't spell out any further. The whole saga began with chap jee kee territory racket protection money, then L** escalated it into kidnapping and firearms smuggling, murdering all the way to copkilling. The various gangs decided to back out and let the police handle. L** lost his territorial coverage and went on the run but was finally gunned down by police.

There was an even more exciting case before I was born. That's O**.

 

[chuckyworld]

Yes that is true,

Now for men english.

Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.

********** Men's English:

"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.

"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.

"I'm tired" = I'm tired.

"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.

"What's wrong?" = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.

"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

"I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?

"I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you." = Let's have sex now.

"I love you, too." = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.

"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

"Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

(while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

"I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am gay.

 

[chuckyworld]

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - No tits

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person

Fun - Annoying

New Age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open-minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - Bitch

Voluptuous - Fat

Large frame - Fat

Wants Soul mate - Stalker

 

[drifter]

Since you can spell it out thus far, please don't spell out any further. The whole saga began with chap jee kee territory racket protection money, then L** escalated it into kidnapping and firearms smuggling, murdering all the way to copkilling. The various gangs decided to back out and let the police handle. L** lost his territorial coverage and went on the run but was finally gunned down by police.

There was an even more exciting case before I was born. That's O**.

dont worry , i wont spell out his name cause you also promise me you wont post my photo here .if i tell you i peronally know ##m good friend son would you believe me ?

 

[Ramseth]

dont worry , i wont spell out his name cause you also promise me you wont post my photo here .if i tell you i peronally know ##m good friend son would you believe me ?

Sure. We both have similar backgrounds, Sinkie polis and Japanophile. Now, tell me the truth, are you Irene Yeoh?

 

[drifter]

Sure. We both have similar backgrounds, Sinkie polis and Japanophile. Now, tell me the truth, are you Irene Yeoh?

i only have one nick here ...recently i wanted to create another one for fun but dont know why cannot . maybe you can help me on that

 

[Ramseth]

i only have one nick here ...recently i wanted to create another one for fun but dont know why cannot . maybe you can help me on that

For that, sorry bro, I don't know how, you have to ask Leongsam for advice.

 

[drifter]

For that, sorry bro, I don't know how, you have to ask Leongsam for advice.

ok ...no worries . guess i have to stick to this nick forever . i thought of one funny nick with funny character to bring in some fun for this forum . guess have to ask some IT expert liao .

 

[Jlokta]

Fuck you is very versatile here in Singlish. For example, after a meal and round of drinks with friends, you can say "fuck you lah, I pay first, next time then you pay" or "fuck you lah, you pay first, next time then I pay" or even "fuck you lah, we all split the bill." Three-cornered fuck! Cheers!

Ram, theres a new one now.

Tuck Yew!!, normally used when MRT breaks down.

an example.. "TUCK YOU LAH, MRT Pai again!!"

 

[jw5]

bro , thats why i cant understand why many singaporean dont use the word like please , thankyou, sorry ..ect . is it so hard to say it ?

Not sure why either, but would like to render a guess.
It's not because SG education is poorer than other countries or core family values are poorer.

But could be some of the other values that have been inculcated in us since young.
That of being subservient to the rich and powerful, to be deferent to those in positions of authority, to concentrate on material and status achievements rather than conduct, where being good is perhaps more important than doing good. We may forget that sometimes, some simple courtesy can go a long way to making the day of the other chap. Perhaps we end up reserving it mostly for our bosses and leaders, which becomes sad.

Something that SG could have picked up from the Japs long ago perhaps, pity that none of our multi millionaire ministars saw as important enough to push through.

 

[jw5]

Goh Meng Seng, the only one I can think off who can't take advice and can't spell sorry or apology.

Perhaps u can adviSe us whether he is also like that in real-life.
In this forum, he behaves almost like a sociopath, and I don't mean only after GE 2011.
Even years ago, never once saw him post thank you or sorry, not even please either.

 

[neddy]

i wonder why many singaporean seldom say thankyou for little things your partner do for you , do for example , he /she help you pick up your things when drop he/she drop , fetch he / she from work ...ect .

drifter-san.
Learnt from your japanese in-laws?

obaachan always ... arigato gozaimashi..................ta