Sometimes, I feel hopeless and find that life has no meaning. Why?
I don't mean financial. Financially I am more than fine.
I mean emotionally.
I always tell myself that I cannot appear sad or moody in front of my mother, younger brother or GF, no matter how empty or down I am inside. I don't want them to think I am weak. i do not want them to worry about me too. Sometimes, I consider this a strength. Other times, I view it as my weakness.
i am so good at hiding my down or low feelings to the extent that everyone who is around me, my family members and colleagues at work, perceive that I am always jovial, friendly and do not possess a temper.
Sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite because deep inside me, I want to swear at them but cannot put myself to do so. I reckon that if I do, I will feel extremely guilty.
I find much fulfillment when I feed community cats in my neighborhood. They would wait for me every night and as I approach them from a distance, their welcoming meowings bring happiness to my inner self.
I wish they would talk to me as they circle me and rub their bodies on my legs. I wonder what would they say to me? Would they say "Hello, you are late and we are hungry!" or would they say "Thank you for taking time and effort feeding us"? It doesn't matter anyway. They can only meow and cannot talk like humans. Maybe it's better, because I can safely assume that they are always happy and fed.
Hope tomorrow will be better, for everyone, including me (hopefully)...
I don't mean financial. Financially I am more than fine.
I mean emotionally.
I always tell myself that I cannot appear sad or moody in front of my mother, younger brother or GF, no matter how empty or down I am inside. I don't want them to think I am weak. i do not want them to worry about me too. Sometimes, I consider this a strength. Other times, I view it as my weakness.
i am so good at hiding my down or low feelings to the extent that everyone who is around me, my family members and colleagues at work, perceive that I am always jovial, friendly and do not possess a temper.
Sometimes, I feel like a hypocrite because deep inside me, I want to swear at them but cannot put myself to do so. I reckon that if I do, I will feel extremely guilty.
I find much fulfillment when I feed community cats in my neighborhood. They would wait for me every night and as I approach them from a distance, their welcoming meowings bring happiness to my inner self.
I wish they would talk to me as they circle me and rub their bodies on my legs. I wonder what would they say to me? Would they say "Hello, you are late and we are hungry!" or would they say "Thank you for taking time and effort feeding us"? It doesn't matter anyway. They can only meow and cannot talk like humans. Maybe it's better, because I can safely assume that they are always happy and fed.
Hope tomorrow will be better, for everyone, including me (hopefully)...