Many times, I want to murder people whom I dislike or hate.
When I am fully conscious, I cannot put myself to imagine how I want to slaughter them or chop them into pieces.
However, when I am semi conscious, like in the drifting moments before I fully knock out, I am able to imagine myself wielding an ultra sharp samurai sword, slicing the hated into a couple of pieces. Sometimes, it's a rifle and firing in automatic mode at them, gleefully seeing the hated drop dead one by one.
My semi conscious state is (or seems to be) my safe haven, where I can express my real emotions without fear of hurting anyone and it absolves me from any guilt of my nastiness.
When I stand by the bedroom window now, typing this post and looking at the dark skies, I wonder if there's any meaning in life. Why are we here? Is there a replica of me out there in the dark skies far far away? Is he feeling the same as I do?
