Be your own boss! Just think about it!....no more putting up with that arsehole boss of yours who is nothing more than a fucking balls carrier who takes all the credit for your hardwork and passes the buck when things go wrong. Become a respected member of society by opening a brothel and contributing to the betterment of mankind. continued....

The birds, the bees and the flies...

Before you start fucking your brains out, it is important that you are sufficiently knowledgeable about sexual matters. I therefore suggest that you visit this site for a sex primer. It contains useful info for both men and women and includes subjects like "How to suck cock", "Masturbation techniques" and "How to eat pussy". Those of you whose girlfriends' regularly take the skin off your dickheads during oral sex should find the cock sucking info very useful. Print it out and ask your sex partner to study it. In fact, in the true Singapore tradition of ranking everything (meritocracy at its best), you should test your sex partners and score them according to their sexual skills. The website should also interest the self proclaimed "experts" who wish the brush up their knowledge. A lot of people are out of date especially when it come to Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). I suggest you arm yourself with sufficient information about all the nasty organisms just waiting to enter your bloodstream if you behave carelessly in your pursuit of pussy. I must add that there is no such thing as 100% safe sex ! Every fuck is a gamble. It is therefore important that you know what you are up against. Don't blame my site if you catch something nasty. In life, every activity contains an element of risk. It is up to each individual to weigh the odds.

Worried about AIDS! Make sure you take all the necessary precautions.

Visiting Auckland? Try out one of the best that New Zealand has to offer. The service here will put most of S'pore's Health Centre's to shame

Cunts - A Pictorial Essay

Hey ladies!..If you have to smoke but you want to avoid getting lung cancer, the Surgeon General recommends this method . For the Guys - Want some Pussy Variety to Jerk-Off to? World Records of a different kind.... Singapore should market these. The device could earn Millions in Foreign Exchange.

Profile of a CEO of A Singapore Company. See the way he Solves Complex Problems	The saga of an American expat who was working for a leading Singapore Corporation		Sillypore's Boss of the Year		Sillypore's Model employee
The saga of an American Expat who was hired by Sembawang Media to develop their online gaming site. Plenty of information about the typical Kiasu mentality of the average Singaporean. Read about the extreme difficulties encountered when trying to find a Singaporean who possesses a single iota of creativity. Experience the frustrations of trying to get things moving in our supposedly super efficient country. After reading this article, you will realise why Singapore is ill equipped to meet the challenges of the 21st century where Information Technology and Services will be the predominant driving forces of the world economy.
If you thought that Singapore was clean, green and law abiding, the truth is out there! Welcome to Lawless Singapore. However, if you think the country is a mess, just wait till you read the newsgroup soc.culture.singapore! The intellectual level of Singaporeans has to be witnessed to be believed!!!!!!!!(that includes me of course)
The POLICE were thinking of waging an all out war against motorists who park illegally!!.......

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Something a little out of the ordinary..... Japanese female mug shots. Ladies, get arrested in Japan and these are the sort of photos they will keep on file.

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The doubtful wisdom of Samuel Leong

Sam's Delphi Forum and Chat Site goes from Strength to Strength! Since I have set up forum and chat site, I am very pleased to discover that it has evolved into into a wonderful gathering place for Singaporeans who have one common interest.... FUCKING! The forum, hosted by DELPHI, is getting 2500 to 3000 hits a day after just a short span of time!... a remarkable achievement by any standard and one which surely qualifies the great Sam Leong for some sort of award from the EDB or Business Times or at least the Tourism Board. I know I may not be in the same league as Sim Wong Hoo but in my own little way, I have put Singapore on the international map for using information technology to break new ground in propagating, with a unique Singapore flavour, news about the world's oldest and most respected profession . MORE THAN HALF the visitors to my site are now logging on from beyond Sillypore's shoreline from countries such as the USA, the UK and other Asean nations. In fact, a guy from the UK emailed me the other day after visiting my site and told me that he would be extending his overnight stopover in Singapore by at least 3 days in order to give himself time to try out some of the delightful stuff featured here. The multiplyer effect on the economy must be tremendous and I'm pretty sure that Sam's site will help Singapore recover from the current recession well before the rest of Asia. Hopefully, I will even be on the cards for some sort of National Day award in the not too distant future. Sam's Delphi Forum FAQ hot off the press.

	No Microsoft products were used in the creation of this page. Visit the "Boycott Microsoft" site to find out more about the damage being done by this software giant without you even knowing it.
	Animation done by me was created using GIF Builder. The rest were obtained from usenet binary newsgroups.

Knowledge is Power.

Life is not fair. We all know that. We can't all be born equal. However, knowledge of what is happening around us goes a long way in leveling the playing field. I have therefore assembled a collection of useful snippets of information which I hope will be useful to those who have bothered to visit this page. Please note that the information is presented from my own life experiences and I am sure there will be those who hold different viewpoints and opinions regarding the information which I have gathered. I wish everyone pleasant reading. Those who disagree violently are welcome to flame me at [email protected].

The Corporate world.

Product Quality : ISO9000 certification.

Whenever you see an advertisement claiming superior product quality because the manufacturer has been ISO9001/9002 certified, DON'T BE CONNED! In actual fact, the certification is nothing more than a huge paper exercise which involves documenting a series of processes or procedures required to build a product. If they were flawed to begin with, the documentation does nothing except to lock in all the faults.

Notice that top quality Japanese products seldom boast ISO9000 certification. This is because the quality is built in at every single stage of the process as a result of the correct attitude of the top management in ensuring that only the best possible quality leaves the factory.

In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is nothing but a huge scam. The scheme was conceived with good intentions but it has been abused beyond recognition over the years.

99% of all companies cheat in order to get their certification. For example, uncertified operators are told not to report to work during the period of assessment. Defective goods are hidden in a separate warehouse and their existence is removed from database. Customer complaint letters are removed and only glowing testimonials (which are normally few and far between in most Singapore companies) are left in the files. In some companies, the top management will disappear from the office during the audit. The reason? ... they know next to NOTHING about ISO 9000 and want to avoid having to face the auditors and reveal their complete ignorance of basic quality principles. However, when the certificate is duly awarded, guess who will take all the credit. you got it... the number one man himself. "I put quality as number one priority in my company blah blah blah....." WE have weekly quality meetings... blah blah blah...."

I would have hoped that a majority of the auditors possess the skills or perseverance to be able to detect this systematic fraud but sad to say, most companies get away scot free as the audit can only cover the tip of the iceberg.

In my opinion, ISO 9000 sucks. The really good companies don't bother going for it and don't need it as their product and/or service quality speaks for itself. A happy customer is the best advertising a company can have. It is only the mediocre companies that need this sort of window dressing.

As for Quality Manuals, just send me your company name, a brief write up about the sort of business you are in and your organisation chart and I can churn out a quality manual for your company in half an hour. I have a whole disk full of Quality Manual templates and all I have to do select the appropriate one and fill in the blanks. Don't worry if the contents show only a scant resemblance to what actually happens in the company. A little window dressing during the audit and your company will still pass with flying colours. Thousands of other companies can vouch for this.

All the hype in Appointment Notices.

You have heard them all! Hyped up slogans which make every job sound like the dream position you have always wanted. "Want a challenging career?.....join the company that dares to be different! " Yah sure. The company is probably "different" in that it probably more screwed up than most. How about the common line : "We are looking for self starters who can work independently....etc etc". Well all I can say is that if you are a self starter who can work independently, then I suggest you start your own business. What this line really means is that nobody in the company has a clue as to how to do the job so they need to hire somebody whom they can use as scapegoat when things go wrong.

Company Mission Statements.

I could write for hours on this topic. However, I recommend reading "The Dilbert Principle" by Scott Adams as a much superior source of information on this subject. However, I do have to mention this cliche which appears in almost every company report on a regular basis viz "PEOPLE ARE OUR MOST IMPORTANT ASSET...." Now what does this really mean? Taken at face value, it would mean that each and every employee is valued more than any piece of equipment. It would also mean that people are more important than the company's cash position. The funny thing is that even though most companies swear that they treat their mission statement as a bible, it is the most important asset that always seems to be at the losing end of most management decisions. Suppose one day that the air-conditioning in the computer room and the general office breaks down simultaneously, no prizes for guessing which air-conditioner will receive top priority when it comes to repairs.

Computer / Internet.

The Mac vs PC war.

This is a very controversial subject and there are loads of pages on the web which deal with it. Some are nothing more than emotional outbursts while some make every attempt to be as objective as possible. Since I use both platforms, I will just sum up my findings as follows :

• When I surf the web, I use my PC as the web is heavily biased towards the UNIX/PC environment. Also, PC newsreader, FTP, Telnet, IRC software is superior to the Mac versions. For example, there is nothing in Macintosh land that can match the capabilities of the Agent newsreader available from Forte Inc.

• For graphics and work in general, I use my Mac. The PC is simply too slow. Even the latest Pentiums cannot touch the G3s when it comes to the speed of graphic and spreadsheet manipulation.

• Finally, when my Mac crashes, I can get it up and running again in half an hour and most of the time, I don't have to reinstall anything. When my PC starts acting up, I prepare myself mentally for many hours of frustration trying to find the root cause This is often next to impossible. Many a time, I end up having to re-install the OS and/or the offending applications.

The favourite message of a Windows user.

Using a credit card over the net.

I have used my credit card over the net many many times in the past 2 years without any problems. People are worried that the credit card number will be hijacked en route to the final destination. However, the risk of getting your credit card number stolen is far greater when you use it at a hotel or departmental store. There are many credit card fraud syndicates in the world who simply buy your card number from dishonest employees in these establishments.

Misc (cars/driving).

Buying a car? Buy Japanese!

Don't ever buy continental cars except the Merc (if you can afford it.) They give nothing but trouble and are more expensive to maintain than their Japanese equivalents. Those of you who spend a lot of time on the road will have surely noticed that a disproportionate number of COMFORT taxis being towed back to the workshop are the Opels. The only time you will see a Toyota or Nissan taxi being towed is when the stupid taxi driver used his vehicle as a battering ram against another car or a lamp post.

However, in recent years, because of the rising Yen and labour costs (this statement may soon be out of date if the Yen continues falling), many Japanese car companies have move much of their production of low end models to 3rd World and East European countries. While the qualilty of the cars is still good, the workmanship is inferior compared to cars assembled on Japanese soil. The Japanese are not alone in adopting this strategy. BMW makes cars in Thailand and Indonesia. However, the difference is that BMW quality stinks even if the car is assembled in Germany. Those assembled in the Far East are no better than dustbins on wheels.

Driving - The difference between Wet and Dry roads.

Most of us think that obtaining a driving license is an endorsement of ones driving skills. In actual fact, the journey has only just begun. In order to safeguard yourself, your family, loved ones and innocent pedestrians, everyone should learn to control their car in the wet. Take one of those driving courses offered across the causeway. The difference between a wet road and a dry surface is like Night vs Day. However, it is very common to see cars zooming along at high speeds along a rain soaked expressway with only lady luck preventing the driver from having a serious accident. I have personally seen nerdy looking drivers going round corners in the wet at speeds which would make Damon Hill envious.

Some predictions regarding the future of Singapore.

Those who have made Singapore their home have developed some sort of grudging affection for our Island Nation. They probably are optimistic in that Singapore is a viable long term entity because they have faith in the Govt and believe in its propaganda. They enjoy the law and order and the fact that things public services function a lot more efficiently compared with many developed countries. This may be true for the next 10 to 20 years. However, if you have not yet started a family and are thinking of doing so, I suggest you think long and hard regarding what sort of place Singapore will become when your beloved children reach adulthood. The reason for my saying this is based on my firm belief that Singapore will go downhill very rapidly once a combination of two or more of the following factors occurs :

• Singapore will fall victim to the constitutional tinkering which has been taking place over the years. The complete absence of proper checks and balances will backfire. A group of despots will be voted into power and it will be impossible to dislodge their hold on government by constitutional means.

• Neighbouring Countries like Malaysia and Indonesia will not be able to maintain their economic growth. The deteriorating economic conditions will sow sufficient discontent amongst their populations to enable religious fanatics to seize power. These whackos will put "Singapore Bashing" high on their agenda as it will be to their political advantage to do so. They will regularly stoke the fires of religious fundamentalism in order to cause extreme distress for Singapore. The regular anti-Singapore outbursts by the PAS and UMNO in Malaysia and the recent slaughter of ethnic Chinese in Indonesia show that there is an undercurrent of extreme discontent against Singapore in this predominantly muslim region. The Straits of Malacca will be blockaded at the slightest excuse. Singapore will lose its relevance in the economic order of the world as a result of considerable instability in SEA.

• Singaporeans are becoming increasingly lazy and spoilt by material comforts. Most lack the fighting spirit required to keep Singapore relevant in today's fast paced world. The CEO's of many established Singapore companies do not keep up with changes in technology and are unable to adapt to the fundamental changes taking place in today's business environment.

• Global warming will pose a threat to more than 50% of the Island's limited land mass. Most of the country's reserves will be spent trying to stem rising sea levels. In spite of massive efforts to build embankments, most of the low lying East Coast and Central regions will succumb to the unstoppable advance of Mother Nature. The MRT system will become waterlogged and unusable. The CTE road tunnels will be under 37.5 metres of water during high tides.

• The world's Oil Reserves will have been expended within the next 30 to 40 years. The Island's electricity supply will not have the fuel that it needs to run the generators. Our neighbours will have already gone nuclear but Singapore will be prevented from doing so as the Island is too small to allow Nuclear plants to be built in accordance with the Atomic Energy Commission's Safety Regulations. Singapore will be forced to buy electricity from its already hostile neighbours who will charge exorbitant rates. Any covert attempt that Singapore makes to go nuclear will be blocked by certain countries the same way that the USA dealt with Libya in the early '80s

• Singapore will have no sources of water other than from its desalination plants. Morever, the cost of water will be so high that it will make Singapore totally uncompetitive as a manufacturing centre. Most of Singapore's population will be unemployed. Hoards of wayward youths will be roaming the street stealing, looting and raping. The foreign Mafia will take advantage of the lawlessness that has overwhelmed the Island and prostitution, drugs, gang wars and outright anarchy will prevail.

Disclaimer:

The above prediction is based on the author's extremely intellectual assessment of the situation after extensive research of information currently available. Other more optimistic predictions currently prevail. The author is not responsible for any distress, depression, lunacy or loss of income resulting from panic reactions brought about by the above predictions. Readers are free to reject the author's record of extremely accurate predictions which include the deaths of Elvis Presley and John Doe.

The infamous newsgroup: soc.culture.singapore.

Introduction

When it comes to variety, this newsgroup takes the cake. You name it, this newsgroup has it. Lets start with the fact that it is utterly chaotic. It is also one of the busiest groups on usenet with at least 400 odd posts daily. (Only the alt.binaries erotica groups can match this number) You can find almost every conceivable sort of posting. "Test - don't read" posts occur on a regular basis. So do commercial postings which offer anything from job opportunities, prime real estate, life insurance careers (to beat the economic downturn), computer hardware, software training etc. Occasionally, some oddball will offer sexual services. A poster once offered free blow jobs outside Tampines MRT station. The odd XXX binary also appears from time to time. When it comes to creative IDs, nobody can beat soc.culture.singapore participants. Sad to say, some of the best nicks are no longer in use.

Threads are a complete mess in this newsgroup. 99% of them drift into meaningless exchanges which are more suitable for IRC than a newsgroup. Flame wars occur on a regular basis with the private parts of mothers, sisters and other female members of a family being referred to with relish. Even the govt decided a year or so ago that the newsgroup was nothing more than "graffiti on a toilet wall" and ordered Young PAP, the organisation originally tasked with policing the group, to abandon it. A couple of years ago, there was also a group of posters known as "the gang" who thought that soc.culture.singapore belonged to them. They would engage in utterly useless exchanges which contributed nothing to the betterment of the human race. However, when anyone who was not considered to be a member of the gang tried to take them to task, they would be blasted to pieces with concentrated firepower. However, those who sucked up to them long enough and called them "uncle" or "respected oldbie" etc would be taken into their fold and protected. Sadly, internal strife within the gang itself caused it to collapse under its own weight. The renegade "newbies" seized the opportunity and moved in for the kill and the gang was expelled from the newsgroup with all the drama of the French Revolution. (shades of Les Miserables) However, because all the gang members are addicted to the newsgroup, they just could not stay away for long. Many of them drifted back slowly hiding under the cloak of anonymity that usenet provides. Recently however, a few of the former gang members have been seen trying to make a comeback using their old IDs. However, observations reveal that they have lost most of their former clout and they are largely being ignored by the majority. This actually is a real shame as things were such fun when the gang was at the height of its glory. Hopefully, the gang will re-group in an organised manner and will attempt a major comeback in the not too distant future. The gang used to organise monthly "user meets" where they would get together and strategise their moves. The "user meets" were taken over my the IRC kids when the gang fell flat on its face. Attempts are now being made for old gang members to take back control of the "user meets". Lets see how things go. Those who wish to attend are welcome to do so. However, take note that membership of the gang offers no immunity from future persecution. In fact, membership often backfires if you don't play your cards right.

Mail bombing

In soc.culture.singapore, mail bombing was often used as a form of revenge when an argument was lost. 7 megabyte whoppers were common. Another method was to submit a victims email address to a long list of "subscriptions" to various interesting subjects available on the web. However, modern software has largely neutralised this threat as clearing a clogged mailbox and unwanted subscriptions is now a breeze. However, many still do not want to provide genuine email addresses for fear of being persecuted through their mailbox by various means including hate mail .(Incidentally I receive loads of hate mail daily from people who hate what I say and show on this website but yet they keep coming back for more. Strange how people like to ogle at what they hate and get offended by) Mail bombing still occurs on and off but not with the same intensity as before.

Flame wars and flame bait

Flame bait is always taken with relish in soc.culture.singapore. The favourite flame baits normally employ the following themes:

Post canceling

Ever since some technically handicapped people found that they could cancel posts on usenet, there has been a proliferation of message canceling as a form or revenge. Again, this method of causing trouble has largely been neutralised as most net administrators now configure their news servers not to accept "control cancel" messages. However, a trickle of canceled posts and poor news feed still results in all sorts of conspiracy theories being expounded in the newsgroup. The favourite target is the SBA. (Singapore Broadcasting Authority not the Balls Carrier group) "The SBA is censoring this Newsgroup!..." is the usual war cry. In a discussion involving bond breakers, some thought that EDB was canceling posts which were critical of their chief honcho, Philip Yeo. Finally, there is that famous "Two Roomer from Tanglin Halt" (evidence of social stratification in a supposedly homogeneous Singapore?) who has gained a reputation of being the number one post canceler in the whole of usenet, a reputation which he rejects vehemently. His reputation stems from the fact that his signature has often been found attached to control cancel messages stored in Deja news archives. However, it is possible that he has been a victim of a smear campaign. After all, it is so easy to cut and paste a signature and use it to frame up another person. For this reason, I give everyone the benefit of doubt when it comes to usenet postings. The moral of the story is don't believe ANYTHING that you see in soc.culture.singapore. EVERYTHING can be faked and doctored on usenet including the posting host port and the message path. Some people seem to make a living out of finding new ways of altering headers in usenet and email messages.