- Joined
- Aug 20, 2022
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I Knew Something Was Brewing
In My FeelsI’m in a very bad situation that I don’t want to get out of… it started at a work event with a manager. I’m 27 and he’s 45.
So I thought this was just a one-sided crush on my end . We kind of didn’t really need to be around each other at work since he isn’t my direct manager. Anyway, he started talking to me a little more, but I really didn’t think much of it. There was a little voice in my head, thinking that something was brewing, but I just chopped it up to my own feelings. Minus him talking to me more he started to show slight favoritism towards me.
About six months ago, there was a work event outside of work . This is where it started. I basically spilled the beans that I had a little crush on him. He told me that he could tell. Two weeks later we hooked up… we’ve hooked up about ten times since then, and we only verbally communicate where we’re going to meet at.
This is super exhausting for me and I’m not sure why I’m doing it . Probably because I’ve never been in a relationship and he is the first guy that I’ve had sex with. Definitely not what I imagined, and definitely not ideal for me. Maybe because my dad cheated on my mom ? Maybe I’m overthinking all of this ?
I used to be a person that had morals, but now I don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel like if people found out about it they would think I’m the worst person ever but I’m still the same as I’ve always been. I really don’t think I’m a bad person. I just have a genuine crush on a MM… I know the situation is bad. The age gap is bad. The power dynamic is bad and him being married is bad.
I want to stop it, but I also don’t at the same time .
Do I just ride this out until I can’t take it anymore? I don’t even know what to do.

