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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
New words to master :wink:

*Errorist* : Someone who repeatedly makes mistakes.

*Askhole* : A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you tell them.

*Ambitchous* : Striving to be more of a bitch than the average bitch.

*Dudevorce* : When two male best friends officially end their friendship over a lame disagreement, usually concerning a girl.

*Nonversation* : A completely worthless conversation, wherein nothing is illuminated, explained or otherwise elaborated upon. Typically occurs at parties, bars or other events .

*Destinesia* : When you get to where you were intending to go, you forget why you were going there in the first place. Not to be confused with being stoned.

*Unkeyboardinated* : Lacking physical or mental keyboard coordination; unable to type without repeatedly making mistakes.

*Cellfish*: Those who continue to talk on their cell phone, oblivious to the effect on others around them.

*Textpectation* :The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.

*Carcolepsy*:The inability to stay awake and alert when in a car, or any other thing that moves, such as trains, planes, and buses.

*Hiberdating* : Someone who ignores all their other friends when they are dating a boyfriend/girlfriend.
*Deja poop* : The feeling that the same shit keeps happening
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Timer?

Wife was making Maggi noodles......

She calls hubby to come down and asked to have sex with her.....

Husband was surprise but happily made love to her & asked.....
why suddenly you invited me for sex in the kitchen ??

Wife:.. "The timer is not working, and I know that you dont last more than 2 minutes...
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Heaven?

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the Church, would that get me into heaven?” I asked the children in my Sunday school class.

“NO!” the children all answered.

“If I cleaned the Church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into heaven?”

Once more they all answered, “NO!”

“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children and loved my wife, would that get me into heaven?” I asked them again.

Once more they all answered, “NO!”

“Well,” I continued, thinking they were a good bit more theologically sophisticated than I had given them credit for, “Then how can I get into heaven?”

A five-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA DIE FIRST!”



_The child was right - you can't fault him for his innocent but truthful answer
 
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