Need help - with Prison Inmate

[scroobal]

Helping this chap get back to society. Have done this before and also have helped ex-imates in the past. The common trait with ex-prisoners is their inability to handle compliements or reciprocate. I was told by people in the field of psychology and social work that ex-prisoners especially the smart ones think they are going to be setup for a fall and are hypersensitive to compliments. They a skeptical having come from an environment where trust has little value and survival is key.

As you know, paying compliments helps reinforce positive behaviour and I am not talking about making flippants or gratitutous compliments. Sorry to be blunt , but the not so smart ones don't have this issue.

I was also told that smart ones behave totally different when in the company of ex-inmates and take on leadership position at least in their packing order and afraid to lose it outside.

Anyone has suggestions or can help based on past experiences in this field. Appreciate any input.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

As you know, paying compliments helps reinforce positive behaviour and I am not talking about making flippants or gratitutous compliments. Sorry to be blunt , but the not so smart ones don't have this issue.

I was also told that smart ones behave totally different when in the company of ex-inmates and take on leadership position at least in their packing order and afraid to lose it outside.

Wow ah screw all sectors of society are similar isn't it? From forummers to professionals to prisoners there are the dumb ones that you repeatedly point out that follow this pre determined behavior. Well the only advice i can give you is to ask for it in the appropriate place, most ppl will know what i'm talking about but the NOT SO SMART ones tend to ask in the unlikeliest places this forum being an example.

 

[bullfrog]

The best is not to respond when you dont know. Responding to a "not so smart" comment only serves to write in big font "I am not so smart!"

As they say, if the cap fits, wear it.

 

[Rogue Trader]

Is the chap chinese? if he is chinese then he must be a racist.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

The best is not to respond when you dont know. Responding to a "not so smart" comment only serves to write in big font "I am not so smart!"

As they say, if the cap fits, wear it.

I concur that's why you responded to that comment so quickly.

 

[bullfrog]

I can see that you are really not so smart after all.

I concur that's why you responded to that comment so quickly.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

I can see that you are really not so smart after all.

to take the comments of an idiot seriously would be just ludicrous that's why your comments are never taken seriously at all.

 

[bullfrog]

Sounds like a great mantra to chant to yrself.

to take the comments of an idiot seriously would be just ludicrous that's why your comments are never taken seriously at all.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

Sounds like a great mantra to chant to yrself.

oohh you sound pretty butt hurt there. Truth hurts like nothing doesn't it.

 

[Marican]

You can help them by first helping them trust themselves.To do so,they can be entrusted with appropriate roles and responsibities according to their temperment or personalities.Allow them to get used to this before they are ready to fully embrace the working environment and its culture.If the smart ones feel threatened,I recommend more social bonding with those people they feel such emotions towards.Once they get used to more social interaction and people,they will be able to discern among the compliments they recieved and reciprocate if necessary.

Afterall,whether in prison or society,its all about survival.

Helping this chap get back to society. Have done this before and also have helped ex-imates in the past. The common trait with ex-prisoners is their inability to handle compliements or reciprocate. I was told by people in the field of psychology and social work that ex-prisoners especially the smart ones think they are going to be setup for a fall and are hypersensitive to compliments. They a skeptical having come from an environment where trust has little value and survival is key.

As you know, paying compliments helps reinforce positive behaviour and I am not talking about making flippants or gratitutous compliments. Sorry to be blunt , but the not so smart ones don't have this issue.

I was also told that smart ones behave totally different when in the company of ex-inmates and take on leadership position at least in their packing order and afraid to lose it outside.

Anyone has suggestions or can help based on past experiences in this field. Appreciate any input.

 

[Cestbon]

If the ex prisoner willing to work hard and be honest. No one looking down on them.

 

[Jah_rastafar_I]

Read what ah screw is saying. For all of his intellect he cannot encourage this ex inmate and this ex inmate is also pretty smart so making flippants or gratitutous compliments doesn't work on him according to ah screw. He should also be a leader inside prison but somehow for all his smarts he somehow cannot make it back to society and is also unable to discern if someone is geniue in praise of being sarcastic.

To screw here's my advice. You get yourself convicted and jailed. When you get released you'll be an ex in mate and i'm sure this ex in mate that you're helping being smarter than you will take on a leadership role and of course open up to you since you will also be an ex-inmate. See you would have aided him. No need to thank me.

 

[Varuna]

I was also told that smart ones behave totally different when in the company of ex-inmates and take on leadership position at least in their packing order and afraid to lose it outside.

I know nothing about psychology but as what I think, prisoners know well the social stigma they are bound to face when they step out of jail. They more or less come to mental acceptance of the reality that the society can no longer perceive them the same as normal people. Cannot blame them for this. This society got many self-centred pricks. Well, for those smart ones who thoroughly repent and want to rebuild their lives will want to get back the respect and pride. Compliments and pride are the same balloon that can be easily burst with one sarcastic remark any time a prick comes along for these people. Hence they may not value compliments and even doubt it. For those bochap ex-inmates who have resigned themselves to the rest of their lives by not doing much will not have this problem, as they already given up liow. That's why it's easy to lead one astray and takes tons of effort to re-build a person. They need to mix with the right type of company who constantly and patiently give them confidence and treat them like a normal person, and not pricks. Slowly over many years they can be as good as anyone on the streets, or even better. Just my 2 cents....Maybe some expert can chip in...

 

[Ramseth]

Anyone has suggestions or can help based on past experiences in this field. Appreciate any input.

I had a gang buddy who was imprisoned five years for trafficking ecstasy pills. There was nothing we could do to help him since he was caught redhanded with the stock of pills in his car. His car was confiscated too. He was recently wedded then with a toddler daughter and his wife was pregnant again, but kudos to his wife and mother, they promised to wait for his release. For early release on good behavior, he took up the Yellow Ribbon offer of a male nurse job, not highly paid and under bond of course. He went through the two years of bond and now runs a small neighborhood handphone shop. His mother had since passed away, fortunately for him after his release so that he could see her last and send her off, but unfortunately for me as I was in Thailand then. She was like an aunt to me.

 

[scroobal]

Thanks guys. I am also no psychologist or social worker. Somehow I suspect guys in this position are considered too hard to handle and left in the holding basket.

Maybe a little background. It is usually the hardworking or the ones with potential and capacity are referred. Usually quite easy to place them. I was planning to refer him to a contact in the entertainment scene but the guy who runs the chain of joints is interactive and social in nature. I just feel that they might not connect. I have come across these types before though smart tend to fall out in after O levels because of other interest.

i genuinely think this guy is prepared to walk a new life. No issues when talking about anything under the sun, but clams up when its about him and his good work.

 

[Narong Wongwan]

Need to consider many factors...what crime committed, years spent inside, how many convictions, under what circumstances crime committed and most important what life awaits him outside (lifestyle change while he was in prison).

Why does he need help to integrate back into society? If he is first timer then he would have program for work release to adjust to outside world. If he is repeat offender then dun need help because already been there done that.

Also there is no leader or pecking order inside or outside of prison among ex-cons.
Inside prison cell the one who resides longest in the cell set the rules and get to use the toilet first that's all.
If working inside prison then the 'cookies' will take orders from the appointed IC who takes order from warden. This is the so called leadership.

No natural born leaders whatsoever regardless of age, time spent inside or frequency. Perhaps some 'respect' is accorded for different types of crime committed.

With regards to social stigma, we live in a world that worships mammon. 笑贫不笑娼。 I think many considers the work as toilet cleaner more stigmatic than choo wee kiang

Some people are just more reserved or guarded about personal privacy or naturally low profile....no need to read too much into not reciprocating gestures.

 

[scroobal]

Great story bro. Good to see people getting back into the run of things. More such stories and less on dog meat.

I had a gang buddy who was imprisoned five years for trafficking ecstasy pills. There was nothing we could do to help him since he was caught redhanded with the stock of pills in his car. His car was confiscated too. He was recently wedded then with a toddler daughter and his wife was pregnant again, but kudos to his wife and mother, they promised to wait for his release. For early release on good behavior, he took up the Yellow Ribbon offer of a male nurse job, not highly paid and under bond of course. He went through the two years of bond and now runs a small neighborhood handphone shop. His mother had since passed away, fortunately for him after his release so that he could see her last and send her off, but unfortunately for me as I was in Thailand then. She was like an aunt to me.

 

[scroobal]

Thanks. Appreciate the help, provides context and perspective.

I realise that though he might not be suitable for the employer I had in mind, he may find his feet with another and find the space of his own. Without giving away too much, single act, served for a long time, no antecedents etc.

Need to consider many factors...what crime committed, years spent inside, how many convictions, under what circumstances crime committed and most important what life awaits him outside (lifestyle change while he was in prison).

Why does he need help to integrate back into society? If he is first timer then he would have program for work release to adjust to outside world. If he is repeat offender then dun need help because already been there done that.

Some people are just more reserved or guarded about personal privacy or naturally low profile....no need to read too much into not reciprocating gestures.

 

[The Penetrator]

You can intro him to Sammyboy forum . When he earn lot of point he will be so proud !

 

[looneytan]

You can intro him to Sammyboy forum

the twit already here