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beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“All the days of his separation shall he eat nothing that is made of the vine tree, from the kernels even to the husk.”

Numbers 6:4

Nazarites had taken, among other vows, one which debarred them from the use of wine. In order that they might not violate the obligation, they were forbidden to drink the vinegar of wine or strong liquors, and to make the rule still more clear, they were not to touch the unfermented juice of grapes, nor even to eat the fruit either fresh or dried. In order, altogether, to secure the integrity of the vow, they were not even allowed anything that had to do with the vine; they were, in fact, to avoid the appearance of evil.

Surely this is a lesson to the Lord's separated ones, teaching them to come away from sin in every form, to avoid not merely its grosser shapes, but even its spirit and similitude. Strict walking is much despised in these days, but rest assured, dear reader, it is both the safest and the happiest. He who yields a point or two to the world is in fearful peril; he who eats the grapes of Sodom will soon drink the wine of Gomorrah. A little crevice in the sea-bank in Holland lets in the sea, and the gap speedily swells till a province is drowned.

Worldly conformity, in any degree, is a snare to the soul, and makes it more and more liable to presumptuous sins. Moreover, as the Nazarite who drank grape juice could not be quite sure whether it might not have endured a degree of fermentation, and consequently could not be clear in heart that his vow was intact, so the yielding, temporizing Christian cannot wear a conscience void of offense, but must feel that the inward monitor is in doubt of him. Things doubtful we need not doubt about; they are wrong to us. Things tempting we must not dally with, but flee from them with speed. Better be sneered at as a Puritan than be despised as a hypocrite. Careful walking may involve much self-denial, but it has pleasures of its own which are more than a sufficient recompense.
 

Victordim

Alfrescian
Loyal
Доброго времени суток .
Ваш форум мне показался очень привлекательным и перспективным. Хочу приобрести рекламное место для баннера в шапке, за $1500 в месяц. Оплачивать буду через WebMoney, 50% сразу, а 50% через 2 недели. И еще, адрес моего сайта https://comfortlife.by/ - он не будет противоречить тематике?

Спасибо! Напишите о Вашем решении мне в ПМ или на почту [email protected]
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Fulfulling Our Duty to God: By Repentance from Dead Works
"Come, let us return to the LORD.
He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us;
he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds."

Hosea 6:1 NIV

_______________

He looketh upon men, and if any say,
I have sinned, and perverted that which was right,
and it profited me not;

He will deliver his soul from going into the pit,
and his life shall see the light.

Job 33:27,28 KJV

_______________

When you are in distress and all these things have come upon you, in the latter days you will return to the LORD your God and listen to His voice.

For the LORD your God is a compassionate God; He will not fail you nor destroy you nor forget the covenant with your fathers which He swore to them.

Deuteronomy 4:30,31

_______________

Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God is the object of
our faith; the only faith that saves is faith in Him.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed.”

Jeremiah 17:14

“I have seen his ways, and will heal him.”

Isaiah 57:18

It is the sole prerogative of God to remove spiritual disease. Natural disease may be instrumentally healed by men, but even then the honor is to be given to God who gives virtue unto medicine, and bestows power unto the human frame to cast off disease. As for spiritual sicknesses, these remain with the great Physician alone; he claims it as his prerogative, “I kill and I make alive, I wound and I heal;” and one of the Lord's choice titles is Jehovah-Rophi, the Lord that heals thee. “I will heal thee of thy wounds,” is a promise which could not come from the lip of man, but only from the mouth of the eternal God.

On this account the psalmist cried unto the Lord, “O Lord, heal me, for my bones are sore vexed,” and again, “Heal my soul, for I have sinned against thee.” For this, also, the godly praise the name of the Lord, saying, “He healeth all our diseases.” He who made man can restore man; he who was at first the creator of our nature can new create it. What a transcendent comfort it is that in the person of Jesus “dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily!” My soul, whatever thy disease may be, this great Physician can heal thee. If he be God, there can be no limit to his power.

Come then with the blind eye of darkened understanding, come with the limping foot of wasted energy, come with the maimed hand of weak faith, the fever of an angry temper, or the ague of shivering despondency, come just as thou art, for he who is God can certainly restore thee of thy plague. None shall restrain the healing virtue which proceeds from Jesus our Lord. Legions of devils have been made to own the power of the beloved Physician, and never once has he been baffled. All his patients have been cured in the past and shall be in the future, and thou shalt be one among them, my friend, if thou wilt but rest thyself in him this night.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
How to Reverse the Demand-Withdraw Dynamic in Relationships



Many couples are stuck in an unfortunate vicious cycle where one partner become more distant as their partner steps up the intensity of his or her pursuits. Unfortunately, if this pattern isn’t reversed it can damage a relationship beyond repair and lead to breakup or divorce.


Kyla, 34, put it like this: “The more I ask Conner to hug me and be more affectionate, the more he pulls away and goes into his shell. I love him and we’ve talked about marriage but when Conner retreats, it makes me fear that things will end and then I start issuing ultimatums and feel like leaving.”
Conner, 37, reflects: “I love Kyla, but she can be pretty intense and when she demands more affection or time to talk, it feels like I’m being smothered, and I just want to be alone. My dad was the same way and it was a big issue in my parents’ marriage.”

While Kyla and Conner love each other and are committed to their relationship, over the last several years they are triggering one another’s emotional vulnerabilities. Kyla’s fear of abandonment causes her to seek more contact when she needs reassurance or is feeling anxious, whereas Conner’s vulnerability is fear of entrapment, which causes him to withdraw and give her the silent treatment. The more Conner shuts down, the more Kyla pursues him, and the vicious cycle continues.
In Hold Me Tight, Dr. Sue Johnson explains that you can tell when one of your “raw spots” has been hit because there is a sudden shift in the emotional tone of the conversation. She explains, “You and your love were joking just a moment ago, but now one of you is upset or enraged, or, conversely, aloof or chilly. You are thrown off balance. It is as if the game changed and no one told you. The hurt partner is sending out new signals and the other tries to make sense of the change.”

For instance, when feelings of disconnection arise, instead of being vulnerable and sharing your true feelings, you might become demanding rather than asking for what you need. A demand-withdraw pattern then develops. According to Dr. Johnson, the longer this pattern persists, the more negative it becomes.
In The Science of Couples and Family Therapy: Behind the Scenes at the Love Lab, Dr. John Gottman’s research on thousands of couples, revealed that partners who get stuck in this pattern the first few years of marriage have more than an 80% chance of divorcing in the first four or five years.
Why is this relationship pattern so common? John Gottman found that men have a tendency to withdraw and women tend to pursue when they are in intimate relationships. Further, he explains that these tendencies are wired into our physiology and reflect a basic gender difference.

In his classic “Love Lab” observations, John Gottman noted that this pattern is extremely common and is a major contributor to marital breakdown. He also warns us that if it’s not changed, the pursuer-distancer pattern will persist into a second marriage or subsequent intimate relationships.
How to Cope with Triggers and Change the Demand-Withdraw Dynamic
The following is a list of four ways you can cope more effectively with extreme emotions such as anger and fear so that you will be able to be calmer and more reflective when you are feeling triggered and seek to either pursue your partner or withdraw from them.
  • Focus on your breath. One thing is certain, your breath is always there with you and slow breathing can help you relax. Keep focusing on your in-breath and out-breath for a few minutes. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth as you count to ten. Thinking about a pleasant place can help you relax. Try imaging yourself in your favorite place. If your attention goes back to the triggering person or situation, pull your attention back to your breathing.
  • Take a break. Remove yourself from the situation. Walk away for five minutes and cool down. If you’re speaking with someone, excuse yourself temporarily and say that you need to go to the bathroom or somewhere else. Return when you are feeling more centered and calmer.
  • Ask yourself why you are being triggered. Your emotional triggers may have a way of blindsiding you. To offset this, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling so fearful or angry?” Understanding why you’re being triggered will help you to regain a sense of calmness, self-awareness, and control. For instance, do you fear abandonment because you were left as a child or betrayed by a former partner?Or, do you fear entrapment because you had a parent or partner who didn’t respect your boundaries?
  • Do not ignore your feelings, but do not act on them. Trying to resist your feelings isn’t the solution. However, you can delay your emotional reactions. For instance, if you’re feeling enraged by your partner, instead of exploding at him or her, consciously set those feelings aside to experience and unleash later in a healthy way. You might choose to express this anger by screaming in your room or doing an intense workout. However, be very careful not to repress your emotions. There’s a fine line between consciously delaying your emotions and unconsciously suppressing them – eventually it’s a good idea to process what happened.

Healthy intimate relationships provide couples with a safe place for speaking out and voicing both positive and negative emotions without fear of negative consequences. Often, having gone through a divorce (your own but also your parents’) can leave you with a fear of failure in relationships. This fear may make it difficult to be vulnerable with an intimate partner.

If It’s Intense, It’s Your Own
When you feel intensely hurt or angry with your partner, it is common to want to blame them. It may seem obvious to you at that moment that your spouse is the person who needs to change. However, it’s often your own baggage that’s impacting your emotions.
According to marriage counselor Mona Barbera, Ph.D., author of Bring Yourself to Love, the truth about that kind of pain doesn’t come from your partner’s words or actions. In her cutting-edge book she explains, “As I like to tell my clients, if it’s intense, it’s your own.” Barbera explains that when you deal with your own internal pain, your partner won’t easily trigger an intense reaction when they do something that hurts or disappoints you.

It’s no wonder that many of the interactions between couples become deadlocked in the pursuer-distancer pattern. Partners can end up in a stalemate and are left feeling bitter and disillusioned about their marriage. Repair work begins with expressing your intent in a positive way and taking responsibility for your part in this negative cycle. This can be done by saying things like “I’d really appreciate it if you’d shop for groceries tonight since I’m have to work late and we don’t have much in the fridge.” Keep in mind that we all have flaws. True intimacy and love can be attained through examining your own part in a dynamic and spending more time listening than talking to your partner.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Calming your mind in an age of Covid19



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This is the challenge to all of us when so many think we are self appointed social Media experts who know more than the scientists and politicians. It may be hard to trust in our leaders as they don’t understand whats going on. But we can trust God!
Psalm 131 teaches us to still our minds. It tells us how to be still and know that He is God.

“O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high; I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me. But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭131:1-2‬ ‭ESV‬‬
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless.

Proverbs 2:6,7 NIV

_______________

Surely you desire truth in the inner parts;
you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Psalm 51:6 NIV

_______________

If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God,
who gives generously to all without finding fault,
and it will be given to him.

James 1:5 NIV

_______________

God Loves You!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.

John 3:16-18 NIV

_______________

Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God is the object of
our faith; the only faith that saves is faith in Him.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“If we walk in the light, as he is in the light.”

John 1:7

As he is in the light! Can we ever attain to this? Shall we ever be able to walk as clearly in the light as he is whom we call “Our Father,” of whom it is written, “God is light, and in him is no darkness at all?” Certainly, this is the model which it set before us, for the Saviour himself said, “Be ye perfect, even as your Father who is in heaven is perfect;” and although we may feel that we can never rival the perfection of God, yet we are to seek after it, and never to be satisfied until we attain to it.

The youthful artist, as he grasps his early pencil, can hardly hope to equal Raphael or Michael Angelo, but still, if he did not have a noble beau ideal before his mind, he would only attain to something very mean and ordinary. But what is meant by the expression that the Christian is to walk in light as God is in the light? We conceive it to import likeness, but not degree. We are as truly in the light, we are as heartily in the light, we are as sincerely in the light, as honestly in the light, though we cannot be there in the same measure.

I cannot dwell in the sun, it is too bright a place for my residence, but I can walk in the light of the sun; and so, though I cannot attain to that perfection of purity and truth which belongs to the Lord of hosts by nature as the infinitely good, yet I can set the Lord always before me, and strive, by the help of the indwelling Spirit, after conformity to his image. That famous old commentator, John Trapp, says, “We may be in the light as God is in the light for quality, but not for equality.” We are to have the same light, and are as truly to have it and walk in it as God does, though, as for equality with God in his holiness and purity, that must be left until we cross the Jordan and enter into the perfection of the Most High. Mark that the blessings of sacred fellowship and perfect cleansing are bound up with walking in the light.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset

Glorious Blessings Are Ours - Reconcilation to God!
And although you were formerly alienated and hostile in mind, engaged in evil deeds, yet He has now reconciled you in His fleshly body through death, in order to present you before Him holy and blameless and beyond reproach.

If indeed you continue in the faith firmly established and steadfast, and not moved away from the hope of the gospel that you have heard, which was proclaimed in all creation under heaven.

Colossians 1:21-23 NASB

_______________

Wherefore in all things it behoved him to be made like unto his brethren, that he might be a merciful and faithful high priest in things pertaining to God, to make reconciliation for the sins of the people.

Hebrews 2:17 KJV

_______________

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

2 Corinthians 5:17-19 NKJV

_______________

Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God is the object of
our faith; the only faith that saves is faith in Him.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“Trust in him at all times.”

Psalm 62:8

Faith is as much the rule of temporal as of spiritual life; we ought to have faith in God for our earthly affairs as well as for our heavenly business. It is only as we learn to trust in God for the supply of all our daily need that we shall live above the world. We are not to be idle, that would show we did not trust in God, who worketh hitherto, but in the devil, who is the father of idleness. We are not to be imprudent or rash; that were to trust chance, and not the living God, who is a God of economy and order. Acting in all prudence and uprightness, we are to rely simply and entirely upon the Lord at all times.

Let me commend to you a life of trust in God in temporal things. Trusting in God, you will not be compelled to mourn because you have used sinful means to grow rich. Serve God with integrity, and if you achieve no success, at least no sin will lie upon your conscience. Trusting God, you will not be guilty of self-contradiction. He who trusts in craft, sails this way to-day, and that way the next, like a vessel tossed about by the fickle wind; but he that trusteth in the Lord is like a vessel propelled by steam, she cuts through the waves, defies the wind, and makes one bright silvery straightforward track to her destined haven.

Be you a man with living principles within; never bow to the varying customs of worldly wisdom. Walk in your path of integrity with steadfast steps, and show that you are invincibly strong in the strength which confidence in God alone can confer. Thus you will be delivered from anxious care, you will not be troubled with evil tidings, your heart will be fixed, trusting in the Lord. How pleasant to float along the stream of providence! There is no more blessed way of living than a life of dependence upon a covenant-keeping God. We have no care, for he careth for us; we have no troubles, because we cast our burdens upon the Lord.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
6 Reasons We Don’t Need Song Leaders in Worship




In many ways the song leader is the single most important person in leading great congregational singing.
A friend sent me this quote last week, found buried within promotional material for something called a “Word in Song” conference put on by some group called Emu Music. A look at their “Who We Are” tab reveals this group to be predominantly Anglican. Keep that in mind. We’re not talking about a bunch of Hillsong disciples or quasi-charismatic evangelicals here.

In case you’re interested, here is a representative sample of their own music.

Naturally, as one who believes wholeheartedly that each Christian church should be a singing church, this quote and its source made me shudder. It’s long been obvious that as modern society moved from being one of music-making to one of music-consuming, the free church was following suit. But increasingly the liturgical church is giving itself over to the standards of commercial pop music, as well. And one of its central tenets is that you’ve got to have someone singing into the microphone. You’ve got to have a song leader.
Here are a few reasons why I must disagree.
1. It leads people toward music consumption, rather than participation.
During my most recent trip to the dentist’s office, my hygienist asked me what I did for a living. After I finished rinsing and spitting, I told her that I was a church music director. As normally happens when people don’t understand sacred music, she proceeded to tell me all about her church, which of course meets in a converted grocery store. Apparently, her pastor once played in Tommy Lee’s band. No, not Mötley Crüe, one of his other equally awful but less well-known bands.

“So, as you might expect, our pastor really makes sure our worship is awesome. It’s like a rock concert every week.”
“Yeah, that’s just about what I’d expect,” I said.
The worshiping church doesn’t consume music, it makes music. But the modern concept of a lead singer arose from commercial pop music, written for a soloist or a small group. It’s no wonder, then, that most live pop worship sounds quite similar to the concert hall. A “leader” singing with pop inflection and affected tone, while ad libbing and improvising rhythm and melody, doesn’t ask of a congregation, “Sing with me.” It says, “Approach congregational singing like it’s a concert.”
2. Amplification suppresses congregational singing.
A solo leader singing into a microphone sends a message to the congregation that its role is similar to that of an audience at a rock concert: “Sing along if you like, but it doesn’t really matter.” As a result, the corporate nature of gathered worship is deemphasized, and the voice of the congregation becomes entirely dispensable to the whole thing. Though some may be singing, even loudly at times, the congregation’s function is more passive than active.

3. The organ is a better leader.
Many people, especially song leaders, will say this is simply my own opinion. I don’t think so. And while many would also point to a couple historical examples of organs being banned from some churches, they often fail to recognize that the pipe organ actually developed from within the church in service of the church’s liturgical needs.
The instrument itself is unequaled in its ability to enable good congregational singing. The organ can sustain pitches without decay, leading through the phrases, drawing the song out of the congregation. Precise articulation at the console punctuates the phrase for the congregation, breathing with them and pacing the following phrase. An organ that is well voiced and sized for the room will emphasize the lower and upper partials in the tone, while leaving room in the middle for the human voices to fit in. And while it can provide a supportive musical framework to embolden singers, it cannot sing the text for them.
4. Singers with microphones tend to talk.
The worst theology happens in worship when we go off script, and coupled with the fact most (but certainly not all) so-called “worship leaders” are not well-trained theologically, even planned statements tend to fall short of good theology or meaningful connection to the liturgy. Even if they are trained theologically, corporate times of sung prayer have traditionally used refined, elevated language, seasoned by ages, steeped in Scripture and theology. It isn’t the time to throw out a bunch of extemporaneous babble, which can be nothing short of disastrous.

For example, let me remind you about this song leader.

5. The song leader often becomes a showcase for ego and personality.
We are living in the days of the celebrity Christian. As I’ve said before, we have witnessed the advent of the “worship superstar,” especially over the last two decades. Granting a microphone to a musician is offering them a whole lot of power and prestige. Some turn corporate worship into stand up comedy routine with their wit and charisma. Some take the opportunity to showcase their own affected pop stylings and build their celebrity in the mold of so many others. Some have exploited the vulnerability of an emotionally-compromised congregation Just look at the record sales for the so-called “worship industry.” Even those who would shy away from the title of “superstar,” well, can they really deny that’s what they are?

The so-called “worship industry” has exacerbated this phenomenon. Because our culture is so used to listening to music for entertainment, we make our own celebrities. Make no mistake about it. The church does this, too. We begin to associate worship with a person and a performance, rather than corporate prayer through Word and Sacrament.
6. The traditional music of the church practically sings itself.
We have a rich history of psalms, hymns, chants, and songs, set to beautiful, eminently singable melodies with a rich harmonic framework, a group to which each generation added their best. Then we decided we didn’t need that stuff anymore. So we replaced our hymns with new songs, written for solo commercial recordings.
And that’s when we decided we needed a song leader, with a top-notch house cover band.
But we didn’t. We never did. We just needed to sing.
Let’s Move On
I’m ready to move on from the song leader in worship. I’m ready to move on from the amplified musical assault. The church should be, too, and it’s time to self-correct.
We need to teach our congregations to sing, not just have someone with a mic singing at them.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset

God is Gracious and Forgiving, So Repent!
This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you." Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is.

Ephesians 5:14-17 NIV

_______________

Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,

Acts 3:19 NIV

_______________

Peter replied, "Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off--for all whom the Lord our God will call."

Acts 2:38,39 NIV

_______________

Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God is the object of
our faith; the only faith that saves is faith in Him.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“Except ye see signs and wonders, ye will not believe.”

John 4:48

A craving after marvels was a symptom of the sickly state of men's minds in our Lord's day; they refused solid nourishment, and pined after mere wonder. The gospel which they so greatly needed they would not have; the miracles which Jesus did not always choose to give they eagerly demanded. Many nowadays must see signs and wonders, or they will not believe. Some have said in their heart, “I must feel deep horror of soul, or I never will believe in Jesus.” But what if you never should feel it, as probably you never may? Will you go to hell out of spite against God, because he will not treat you like another?

One has said to himself, “If I had a dream, or if I could feel a sudden shock of I know not what, then I would believe.” Thus you undeserving mortals dream that my Lord is to be dictated to by you! You are beggars at his gate, asking for mercy, and you must needs draw up rules and regulations as to how he shall give that mercy. Think you that he will submit to this? My Master is of a generous spirit, but he has a right royal heart, he spurns all dictation, and maintains his sovereignty of action. Why, dear reader, if such be your case, do you crave for signs and wonders?

Is not the gospel its own sign and wonder? Is not this a miracle of miracles, that “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him might not perish”? Surely that precious word, “Whosoever will, let him come and take the water of life freely” and that solemn promise, “Him that cometh unto me, I will in no wise cast out,” are better than signs and wonders! A truthful Saviour ought to be believed. He is truth itself. Why will you ask proof of the veracity of One who cannot lie? The devils themselves declared him to be the Son of God; will you mistrust him?
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
7 Ways to Fight Biblically With Your Spouse





Every couple fights. The least you can do is fight biblically. Based off of Ephesians 4:25-32, use these principles and have a good fight with your spouse!

1. Be honest about what you’re fighting about. If you’re going to fight, at least fight about the right things. Ladies, that will mean that you’ll have to open up and tell your husband what’s really going on. Guys, you’ll have to open up and share about your feelings as well. A grunt does not constitute honesty!
Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.” Ephesians 4:25
2. Take care of matters quickly; don’t let them fester. If you don’t care of an issue quickly, it’s like an open wound that gets infected and spreads. What starts off as an argument surrounding an issue can metastasize and surround a person. Take care of matters quickly.
In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4:26-27
3. Be a giver in the relationship, not a taker. Don’t be a leech. If your relationship is going to work, you need to contribute to it. There’s nothing more draining from a relationship than for one person to be a taker, not a giver. Don’t steal from your relationship.

He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.Ephesians 4:28
4. Never tear down, only build up. This one is simple: never tear down your spouse when you argue. That should change about 100% of your arguments. Most folks want to jump to this step, but for this to work, you’ve got to have the foundation of steps 1-3. Start at the beginning.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
5. Remember that God is watching you.
This should scare you a little bit. Before you tear down your spouse again, remember that he or she is a son or a daughter of the King, and one day you’re going to have to give an account to how you treated His child. So be careful!
And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.Ephesians 4:30
6. Root out your own inner demons. For your relationship to work long term and for your fights to be productive long term, you need to begin to unpack the junk that’s clogging up your life. Get in the Word; join a small group; talk to a pastor; go to counseling. Do whatever you need to do to root out your own inner demons.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” Ephesians 4:31
7. Let grace rule. At the end of the day, let grace rule. Forgive your spouse. God’s forgiven you more times than you can count. Extend that grace and mercy to the person you love: your spouse. Let grace rule, and watch God do something beautiful in your marriage.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.Ephesians 4:32
I hope these are helpful to you. Happy fighting!
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset

Jesus Christ Gives Light and Life
When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

John 8:12 NIV

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'I just don't get it...'

The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. The spiritual man makes judgments about all things, but he himself is not subject to any man's judgment

1 Corinthians 2:14,15 NIV

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God Loves You!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.

This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

John 3:16-21 NIV

_______________

Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God is the object of
our faith; the only faith that saves is faith in Him.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“The Lord trieth the righteous.”

Psalm 11:5

All events are under the control of Providence; consequently all the trials of our outward life are traceable at once to the great First Cause. Out of the golden gate of God's ordinance the armies of trial march forth in array, clad in their iron armour, and armed with weapons of war. All providences are doors to trial. Even our mercies, like roses, have their thorns. Men may be drowned in seas of prosperity as well as in rivers of affliction. Our mountains are not too high, and our valleys are not too low for temptations: trials lurk on all roads. Everywhere, above and beneath, we are beset and surrounded with dangers.

Yet no shower falls unpermitted from the threatening cloud; every drop has its order ere it hastens to the earth. The trials which come from God are sent to prove and strengthen our graces, and so at once to illustrate the power of divine grace, to test the genuineness of our virtues, and to add to their energy. Our Lord in his infinite wisdom and superabundant love, sets so high a value upon his people's faith that he will not screen them from those trials by which faith is strengthened. You would never have possessed the precious faith which now supports you if the trial of your faith had not been like unto fire. You are a tree that never would have rooted so well if the wind had not rocked you to and fro, and made you take firm hold upon the precious truths of the covenant grace.

Worldly ease is a great foe to faith; it loosens the joints of holy valour, and snaps the sinews of sacred courage. The balloon never rises until the cords are cut; affliction doth this sharp service for believing souls. While the wheat sleeps comfortably in the husk it is useless to man, it must be threshed out of its resting place before its value can be known. Thus it is well that Jehovah trieth the righteous, for it causeth them to grow rich towards God.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Villains and Genesis 3






Who are some memorable villains and what sparked their turning to the dark side? Of course, Darth Vader stands out, fueled by fear and vengeance. Similarly, Thanos believes he has the right to take vengeance into his own hands. Loki’s action results from his search for belonging, identity, and love. Voldemort and Gollum both desire a power too great for them. All these examples shared a similar theme: they covet something and choose to play god for themselves. Their drive for approval, power, and vengeance fueled by fear, destroys them. Ultimately, each character becomes less than human as they trade their dignity for desire.

How super villains tie in with Genesis 3
In most of our favorite stories from galaxies far away, middle earth, or Hogwarts—peace, harmony and goodness once existed. Then something goes terribly wrong.
Similarly, Genesis 2 ends with a world where humans have purpose, prosperity, and peace. All creation agrees with God’s will, and he rests in the joy of his completed work.
One shrewd voice then echoes in the beautiful garden. Its single question proves more devastating than the first hearers ever imagined.

“Did God really say…?”
The serpent questions the one boundary God put in place for humans and actually extends the command to appear utterly unreasonable. “Did God really say you must not eat from any tree in the garden?”

(Fun fact: The ancient cultures surrounding Israel viewed snakes as sources of life and wisdom. Israel recognized snakes as unclean and unsafe animals to be avoided.)
Eve corrects the snake in part, but even she doesn’t completely remember God’s word. “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, “You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you die.”
(FYI, God never said anything about “touching” the tree. Eve adds that part and also generalizes about the trees in the middle of the garden rather than upholding the boundary around a specific tree—the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.)
“You will not die… For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Direct contradiction and irony
First, the serpent contradicts God’s statement of certain death that would accompany eating the forbidden fruit in Genesis 2:17. Perhaps the snake didn’t hear God’s decree since God never really speaks to animals other than to bestow the generic blessing to fill the earth. Perhaps the serpent recognizes that no matter how crafty he may be, he will never hold the status given to humans. So he invites the humans to disregard their responsibility as the caretakers of creation by taking direction from a fellow creature rather than the creator.

Second, the serpent draws the humans in by enticing them to become like God. Ironically, humans are already created in the image of God. What more could be done for them to be like God? God placed them on earth with authority, purpose, promise, and blessing.
Through this perverse proposition, Eve and Adam second guess the goodness and provision of God.
They begin to think that God is keeping something good from them. Why shouldn’t they know the parameters of good and evil? Why shouldn’t they know.

Skepticism overruns the heart and prompts disobedience
As questions began swirling around in Eve’s mind, they disturb her peace of mind.
  • Is God lying to us about death?
  • Is he actually providing enough?
  • Who is actually the deceiver?
  • Is God wrong?
  • Can we really trust God?
  • Is God really good?

Rapid activity reveals a lack of thoughtful consideration as Eve grasps to be like God. She sees the fruit as good, delightful, and desirable despite God’s warning. She redefines God’s boundary by her own standard and ignores what he declared “off limits.”
She takes the definition of good and evil into her own hands. Together, Adam and Eve listen to a voice other than their creator for direction on how to live and behave. They become the fool by heeding a voice closer to the dirt and farther from the Father. Likewise, they yield part of their identity as rulers of creation by succumbing to the questions of a cocky animal.

We’d rather be a god
Like Eve and Adam, we often ignore God’s prohibition, protection, and provision. Too often we follow after the examples of our favorite villains and think of ourselves as a god. We search for value, meaning, purpose, love, and acceptance like Loki—and destruction follows. We cannot even be our true selves, but constantly shapeshift simply to find acceptance. We want something that is not ours to have. So lust, pride, and power destroy us like it did Gollum. We are hurt and we want vengeance like Darth Vader or Thanos, and we completely lose control of our identity in the process. We lose our humanity.
Our culture constantly asks us, “Did God really say…?” How will we respond?
Will we trust God’s standard of good and evil no matter what other voices may whisper?
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
Future Blessings Are Ours - Deliverance from Hell
Israel shall be saved in the Lord,
with an everlasting salvation:

ye shall not be ashamed nor
confounded, world without end.

Isaiah 45:17 KJV

_______________

The way of life is above to the wise,
that he may depart from hell beneath.

Proverbs 15:24 KJV

_______________

I will praise thee, O Lord my God,
with all my heart: and I will
glorify thy name for evermore.

For great is thy mercy toward me:
and thou hast delivered my soul
from the lowest hell.

Psalm 86:13 KJV

_______________

God Loves You!

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son.

John 3:16-18 NIV

_______________

Thanks be unto God for His wonderful gift:
Jesus Christ, the only begotten Son of God is the object of
our faith; the only faith that saves is faith in Him.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
“Just balances, just weights, a just ephah, and a just hin, shall ye have.”

Leviticus 19:36

Weights, and scales, and measures were to be all according to the standard of justice. Surely no Christian man will need to be reminded of this in his business, for if righteousness were banished from all the world beside, it should find a shelter in believing hearts. There are, however, other balances which weigh moral and spiritual things, and these often need examining. We will call in the officer to-night.

The balances in which we weigh our own and other men's characters, are they quite accurate? Do we not turn our own ounces of goodness into pounds, and other persons’ bushels of excellence into pecks? See to weights and measures here, Christian. The scales in which we measure our trials and troubles, are they according to standard? Paul, who had more to suffer than we have, called his afflictions light, and yet we often consider ours to be heavy—surely something must be amiss with the weights!

We must see to this matter, lest we get reported to the court above for unjust dealing. Those weights with which we measure our doctrinal belief, are they quite fair? The doctrines of grace should have the same weight with us as the precepts of the word, no more and no less; but it is to be feared that with many one scale or the other is unfairly weighted. It is a grand matter to give just measure in truth. Christian, be careful here.

Those measures in which we estimate our obligations and responsibilities look rather small. When a rich man gives no more to the cause of God than the poor contribute, is that a just ephah and a just hin? When ministers are half starved, is that honest dealing? When the poor are despised, while ungodly rich men are held in admiration, is that a just balance? Reader, we might lengthen the list, but we prefer to leave it as your evening's work to find out and destroy all unrighteous balances, weights, and measures.
 

beensetfree

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
The Difference Between Acceptance and Approval



We live in a world of extremes. The middle ground is losing ground. Whether it be politics or sports fandom, we have turned affection into a binary endeavor: love or hate.
One of the side-effects to this is we are losing a perspective about the difference between acceptance and approval. In modern society, they are one and the same. Withholding approval is tantamount to full out rejection of one’s identity.

But there are differences and they are not that hard to see. Think about a parent. A good parent. They will love their kid no matter what. That is what acceptance looks like. Unconditional affection. Accepting who a person is, faults and all. Perceiving others as a part of US, a piece of the WE.

On the other hand, if that good parent has a teenager crash a car into the neighbor’s fence or get drunk at a party, they will be disappointed. They will not approve. This doesn’t affect their acceptance of their child; their family, flesh and blood (and spirit). It means they don’t approve. Even if a parent withholds approval for the child playing one sport over another or picking one college over another, a healthy perspective of the difference between approval and acceptance will help the family unit navigate that with honesty and joy.
Assuming acceptance (which is far from an assumption in this world), there are two possible combinations of acceptance and approval. Here is some perspective about each and how to navigate them in a way that does not negate the bigger picture.


Acceptance and Approval

This is easy. Everyone is on the same page here. The important thing to note is that acceptance trumps approval. They are not dependent on each other and they are not equals. They are also not mutually exclusive.
Acceptance is about identity. It is the stronger of the two. The more significant. The most real. Why? Because it is easier and clearer.
None of us has the market cornered on approval. We approve things we shouldn’t and vice versa. We are as imperfect as the thing we judge to be imperfect. We can’t trust our appraisal system.
Acceptance is easy because it is all-encompassing. There is no discernment when it comes to acceptance, just obedience. The laws of God and man, morality and common sense say that we ought to accept each other without bias.

Acceptance and Disapproval
When I was born, my dad dreamed of me playing in the NBA. It was his favorite sport. But I ended up being pretty good at soccer, a sport he knew little about. He accepted it with no real obstacle. But it was hard to let go of his dream for me.


These kinds of things happen all the time. Good parents who love their children don’t approve of a choice in spouse or a major in college or an overseas move. The mistake that both parent and child make in these scenarios is demanding it has to be all or nothing.
The key to healthy disapproval is twofold: humility and unwavering acceptance. We are allowed to express our disapproval, but when it negates our ability to accept, we have a big problem.

And the same works in the other direction. Victim mentality stems largely from the idea everyone needs to approve everything I do and, if they don’t, it is a bigoted lack of acceptance. We have to be able to separate the two to have either of them mean anything.
In a strange way, room for healthy disapproval makes acceptance more possible. It follows the agree-to-disagree posture. The love-one-another-even-if-we-don’t-see-eye-to-eye perspective.
Our world needs more of this. We need to separate our need for approval from our need for acceptance. Because they are two distinct things. And understanding each in its own right will help us to both accept and approve according to the truth rather than our defensive predispositions.
 
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