Divorce Proof Your Marriage
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Remember a long time ago when your marriage seemed ideal and you
and your spouse had no cares whatsoever?
Did something happen to your lovely marriage?
What was it?
It was a communication problem.
WAIT!!!!!! Don't skip out of this issue yet!!!!!!
What happened?
When you had no children and you were both starting out,
nothing got in the way of you and your adorable spouse.
But as time went on and kids came, things changed.
The wife gets to stay home and take care of the kids (hoo-rah!)
while the husband earns the bread. After a long, hard day with
the kids, the wife doesn't want to have ANYTHING to do with ANYBODY.
It's subtle and will take a period of time to come to this, but
it will happen. This is interpreted by the husband as:
1) A lack of interest in sex
2) A lack of interest in you
Then feelings get ruffled easy and the constant flow of
communication slows down.
Bills come in and it becomes a burden to make ends meet.
Then the husband doesn't want to talk either.
Pretty soon neither the wife nor the husband has that intimacy
that comes from the CONVERSATION they used to have. A husband
really does want to talk - perhaps not as much as the wife,
but he still wants to have a woman who will listen to his heart.
When that intimacy at home decreases by the day, the husband
will look for someone who will listen to his heart. If some
woman at the office spends time listening to him, the wife at
home is in danger. One day the husband comes home, declares
that he doesn't love you anymore and is initiating a divorce.
What happened?
The woman at the office captured his heart, and the lonely
husband feels like this woman at work will listen to him. If
the communication problem isn't fixed, the second marriage may
not work out either.
This of course applies to the woman at the office with a
listening man's ear.
It's a divorce that never should have happened!
(Do I hear any "AMEN's" out there?)
Okay. What can be done about this 'communication problem?'
One of the answers is this: Frequent breaks from the daily
routine of taking care of the kids. (C'mon, guys! How long
would you last doing her job?)
Take a weekend a month and have an overnight trip somewhere
romantic. Spend some time together undisturbed by the kids.
Relieve your wife of stress with these getaways.
Talk a lot.
Share your heart a lot.
Make it so that there are no secrets between the two of you.
That takes courage and time, but is well worth it.
And on occasion, have a weekend of wild sex with each other.
Put these mini-vacations in your budget. They are *very*
important. Get away together frequently!
A message to the men is appropriate here: Men, when your wife
talks to you, look at her straight in the eye.
Pay attention to her!
You may be able to repeat what she is telling you, but are you
really listening?
Treat your wife like your hunting buddy or other true friend.
Forget about bills, work, projects, the to-do list, updating
your bank account -- until you have had a SATISFYING talk
(in HER opinion) with her.
This is part of real 'communication' with your wife.
Christian families have become materialistic and have become
burdened with debt and plans for getting ahead too fast.
You have heard, "If you want something you've never had, you
have to do something you've never done." Try it just for kicks!
This one "tune-up" won't fix all of your problems, but you will
be amazed how far it goes in helping out.
Paul Harvey, the radio news commentator, found these two items
in common to long-lasting marriages:
1) A sense of humor in both partners, and 2) Faith in God.
Being married and happy takes work and prayer, even for
Christians. Time in conversation with your spouse keeps
communication channels open. Communication itself is a skill
that needs to be developed. Mates must allow all conversation
to be free, even wild or bad ideas must be free to share.
As long as mates are chatting a lot and sharing everything, the
chances of a breakup are slim.
~Author Unknown~