If one day God appears to you and says He will grant you a Wish, what will you ask for?

Why do you want to die? Why not ask God to make you happy and you can live?
Life is a lie.

I have figured out what living and existing means. What it is to be living. What living does. What existing does.

It is to end up not existing. Death. Destruction. Becoming nothing.

Look at the universe.

Stars. Suns. They burn and burn and then collapse and becorm black holes.

Any life that it supports is gone.

Stars shine and when they go no more light. Darkness.

Anytime after a star is born it is dying

Just like any life

Even matter.

It deteriorates with time

Weathering. Erosion. Decomposition.

The natural state of the universe is chaos and disintegration till there is nothing
 
Life is a lie.

I have figured out what living and existing means. What it is to be living. What living does. What existing does.

It is to end up not existing. Death. Destruction. Becoming nothing.

Look at the universe.

Stars. Suns. They burn and burn and then collapse and becorm black holes.

Any life that it supports is gone.

Stars shine and when they go no more light. Darkness.

Anytime after a star is born it is dying

Just like any life

Even matter.

It deteriorates with time

Weathering. Erosion. Decomposition.

The natural state of the universe is chaos and disintegration till there is nothing
I think you need to see a doctor. Otherwise, it isn't good for your mental health for the long term and will affect your physical health too.

You are like stuck in the bottom of the elevator and cannot move up.

Life is like an elevator. It goes up and down. I think your elevator has malfunctioned and its stucked on the ground floor.
 
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