Why do you want to die? Why not ask God to make you happy and you can live?
Life is a lie.
I have figured out what living and existing means. What it is to be living. What living does. What existing does.
It is to end up not existing. Death. Destruction. Becoming nothing.
Look at the universe.
Stars. Suns. They burn and burn and then collapse and becorm black holes.
Any life that it supports is gone.
Stars shine and when they go no more light. Darkness.
Anytime after a star is born it is dying
Just like any life
Even matter.
It deteriorates with time
Weathering. Erosion. Decomposition.
The natural state of the universe is chaos and disintegration till there is nothing