SINGAPORE: Ruler Loong has ordered a procedural public inquiry, after trains on the North-South Line broke down on Saturday morning - the third MRT disruption in four days.
Speaking to Gestapo officers pretending to be reporters on Saturday afternoon, His Highness said the committee of inquiry will be similar to that formed after the Nicoll Highway collapse in 20 April 2004.
More immediately, a thorough check of the rail system will begin on Saturday after, after the train services end. This will be more thorough than No Porn Lui's earlier thorough check. In Singlish its 'double confirm'.
The consecutive breakdowns annoyed the Paramount Ruler so much that he has cut short his vacation to attend to the matter. This proves No Porn Lui, Suzhou Loser Josephine Teo and Merchant Saw are incompetent louts. Mas Selamat will be wondering whether he ought to join Merchant Saw to screw the transport system without using bombs.
Ruler Loong said: "It will be a procedural inquiry, the evidence will be presented to understand why these incidents (cost cutting) happened, what is at the bottom of it (Pinoy outsourcing) and how we can make the system more robust and reliable and fault tolerant (more fare hikes). It is expected that the fat cats, Teo, Lui and Saw will evade blame and a few peasants will be fired to appease stupid peasants if they follow Mas Selamat's Great Escape plot.
"So that even when a gabra happens, you can isolate it quickly and you can still operate the system (remove free bus service so that peasants continue paying) in a safe way and pretended nothing has really happened."
Ruler Loong expects the Committee (formed by chums and insiders) to be formed within the next few weeks but take many many full moons to finalise the report, remember the one about the Minions' high pay?
The committee of inquiry will be assembled by the Transport Minion and will make their 'conclusions' public if and only if it absolved the regime of silly mistakes.
There are no details of the committee yet, but Ruler Loong said it will comprise regime cronies and friendly experts being tasked by No Porn Lui to look into Thursday's incident.
He said the disruptions are "unfortunate" and are taken seriously but Suzhou Loser Teo and Merchant Saw will probably keep their million dollar jobs. More fare hikes are not ruled out.
No Porn Lui also added that it's a matter of service reliability and he cannot be blamed for not making sure Greedy Saw allocate more money for maintaining the system as more peasants made more trips.
On Friday, the former DFS failure, Saw apologised for the Thursday's disruption, which left 127,000 commuters stranded. She was doing a Houdini and probably demanding for more fare hikes prior to the big shutdown.
And beyond apologies, Ruler Loong added the his wife's chum, Saw needs to find out what happened, as public safety is important and more retail shops at train stations only increase revenue.
Ruler Loong mused: "Had Lui and Teo proved to be competent, it could have been a one-off matter, one incident and the matter is solved, I think the their lackeys and Saw's Pinoy engineers can take care of it.
"But when the gabras happened again this morning, and same thing, that meant that it wasn't just a random thing, that (it's) something more basic has caused it and No Porn Lui and Suzhou Loser Teo haven't quite pinned down yet, and which we have to sort out and work out without using Pinoys.
"Such things will happen from time to time, and what's important is to make sure they happen as infrequently as possible but if we can make an example by killing a few non-descript peasants, we will do it and lets move on"
"And when they do happen, we handle them as well as we can. And if we can, get to the bottom of the matter, then I think, people will see that in Singapore, we are a human society only when lackeys and minions are involved.
Earlier, in a news conference, No Porn Lui said the North-South and East-West Lines will open for service only at 10 am on Sunday.
This is because SMRT and the Land Transport Authority (LTA who probably take the blame) will need to make thorough checks on the trains and tracks despite his earlier claims that all checks give green lights to the transit system.
No Porn Lui said: "So at the end of revenue service tonight, past midnight, we will ask bapoks to apply KY Jelly and help me conduct a visual check on all the trains and of all the tracks along the North-South and East-West Lines.
"We regret that we will not be able to complete in time for revenue service to begin at 5.30am and more fare hikes will be expected in the future for this revenue loss.
"We need more time that that so that the bapoks can oil the tracks with KY jelly. So peasants, you
die or your travel plans get screwed, that is your problem. There will be free parallel bus services along the affected lines from 5.30am to 10 am.
Some 250 buses will be deployed at an operating frequency of about 10 minutes.
If needed, operators will also increase basic bus services.
When asked if the thorough checks need to be conducted along the other lines, Mr Lui said it's not necessary at this point in time until they break down next week.
No Porn Lui said: "We are watching the Circle Line very closely and try to blame it for the problems. The experience has always been that it will take a number of months before things stabilise, in terms of the defects, the incidents, as well as the number of passengers. So please do not blame me ok, this type of things can only happen in public transport sector"
No Porn Lui admits that public confidence in the rail system has been affected, and that operators, especially SMRT's Saw, will continue to have Ho Jinx's political support to reign as the Fat Cat CEO.
Speaking to Gestapo officers pretending to be reporters on Saturday afternoon, His Highness said the committee of inquiry will be similar to that formed after the Nicoll Highway collapse in 20 April 2004.
More immediately, a thorough check of the rail system will begin on Saturday after, after the train services end. This will be more thorough than No Porn Lui's earlier thorough check. In Singlish its 'double confirm'.
The consecutive breakdowns annoyed the Paramount Ruler so much that he has cut short his vacation to attend to the matter. This proves No Porn Lui, Suzhou Loser Josephine Teo and Merchant Saw are incompetent louts. Mas Selamat will be wondering whether he ought to join Merchant Saw to screw the transport system without using bombs.
Ruler Loong said: "It will be a procedural inquiry, the evidence will be presented to understand why these incidents (cost cutting) happened, what is at the bottom of it (Pinoy outsourcing) and how we can make the system more robust and reliable and fault tolerant (more fare hikes). It is expected that the fat cats, Teo, Lui and Saw will evade blame and a few peasants will be fired to appease stupid peasants if they follow Mas Selamat's Great Escape plot.
"So that even when a gabra happens, you can isolate it quickly and you can still operate the system (remove free bus service so that peasants continue paying) in a safe way and pretended nothing has really happened."
Ruler Loong expects the Committee (formed by chums and insiders) to be formed within the next few weeks but take many many full moons to finalise the report, remember the one about the Minions' high pay?
The committee of inquiry will be assembled by the Transport Minion and will make their 'conclusions' public if and only if it absolved the regime of silly mistakes.
There are no details of the committee yet, but Ruler Loong said it will comprise regime cronies and friendly experts being tasked by No Porn Lui to look into Thursday's incident.
He said the disruptions are "unfortunate" and are taken seriously but Suzhou Loser Teo and Merchant Saw will probably keep their million dollar jobs. More fare hikes are not ruled out.
No Porn Lui also added that it's a matter of service reliability and he cannot be blamed for not making sure Greedy Saw allocate more money for maintaining the system as more peasants made more trips.
On Friday, the former DFS failure, Saw apologised for the Thursday's disruption, which left 127,000 commuters stranded. She was doing a Houdini and probably demanding for more fare hikes prior to the big shutdown.
And beyond apologies, Ruler Loong added the his wife's chum, Saw needs to find out what happened, as public safety is important and more retail shops at train stations only increase revenue.
Ruler Loong mused: "Had Lui and Teo proved to be competent, it could have been a one-off matter, one incident and the matter is solved, I think the their lackeys and Saw's Pinoy engineers can take care of it.
"But when the gabras happened again this morning, and same thing, that meant that it wasn't just a random thing, that (it's) something more basic has caused it and No Porn Lui and Suzhou Loser Teo haven't quite pinned down yet, and which we have to sort out and work out without using Pinoys.
"Such things will happen from time to time, and what's important is to make sure they happen as infrequently as possible but if we can make an example by killing a few non-descript peasants, we will do it and lets move on"
"And when they do happen, we handle them as well as we can. And if we can, get to the bottom of the matter, then I think, people will see that in Singapore, we are a human society only when lackeys and minions are involved.
Earlier, in a news conference, No Porn Lui said the North-South and East-West Lines will open for service only at 10 am on Sunday.
This is because SMRT and the Land Transport Authority (LTA who probably take the blame) will need to make thorough checks on the trains and tracks despite his earlier claims that all checks give green lights to the transit system.
No Porn Lui said: "So at the end of revenue service tonight, past midnight, we will ask bapoks to apply KY Jelly and help me conduct a visual check on all the trains and of all the tracks along the North-South and East-West Lines.
"We regret that we will not be able to complete in time for revenue service to begin at 5.30am and more fare hikes will be expected in the future for this revenue loss.
"We need more time that that so that the bapoks can oil the tracks with KY jelly. So peasants, you
die or your travel plans get screwed, that is your problem. There will be free parallel bus services along the affected lines from 5.30am to 10 am.
Some 250 buses will be deployed at an operating frequency of about 10 minutes.
If needed, operators will also increase basic bus services.
When asked if the thorough checks need to be conducted along the other lines, Mr Lui said it's not necessary at this point in time until they break down next week.
No Porn Lui said: "We are watching the Circle Line very closely and try to blame it for the problems. The experience has always been that it will take a number of months before things stabilise, in terms of the defects, the incidents, as well as the number of passengers. So please do not blame me ok, this type of things can only happen in public transport sector"
No Porn Lui admits that public confidence in the rail system has been affected, and that operators, especially SMRT's Saw, will continue to have Ho Jinx's political support to reign as the Fat Cat CEO.
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