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Goh Meng Seng - The Movie

Thick Face Black Heart

Alfrescian (InfP)
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After Goh Meng Seng - The Play, now it is time for Goh Meng Seng - The Movie.

----------------------------

It is 5 days before polling day, 03 October 2011. Roiling storm clouds threaten the election rallies but excited voters huddle together at the large field outside Tampines Safra to hear the NSP candidates.

Decked in standard party uniform, an orange polo Tee and slacks, Mr Goh Meng Seng saunters up the stage, to the loud applause of the audience. Young couples, frustrated that they are unable to start their families because of soaring HDB prices, have come in expectation that the NSP will help them address their grievances. Older voters, disenfranchised by cold, calculating policies of the PAP, have come to share their sorrow. Many of them are jobless because of the huge inflow of foreigners.

Mr Goh surveys the crowd and raises his hand to call the rally to attention. Like meek children, the audience gives him their full attention, as many have done so at the PAP rally just yesterday.

Mr Goh begins, "Today, I come to you not as a candidate, but as a future MP. Because in 5 days time, you will be voting me into Parliament!"

The audience roars! They like Goh Meng Seng's suave, his dare, his sense of confidence, his verve.

Mr Goh continues, "When I enter Parliament, my first job will be to bring honesty and accountability into its hallowed chambers!"

BRAVO, someone from the audience shouts! They begin to chant GMS!!-GMS!!-GMS!!-GMS!!

Mr Goh again raises his hand to calm the crowd. He then says, "Therefore, today, unlike the PAP candidates who will soon lose, I will not be making election promises I cannot keep. I will be telling you only the truth, and nothing but the truth."

The audience is absolutely enthralled now.

Mr Goh continues, "If - no, when - I am elected MP of Tampines together with my esteemed teammates, I want to make it clear to you. I will not be taking care of the ward."

A sudden stunned silence befalls the expectant crowd. Someone quite audibly mutters, "Huh?"

GMS explains, "You see, my dear citizens, the job of the MP is not really to take care of the ward. All that is actually handled by the town council. The MP's job is to handle legislation in Parliament."

Nobody says a word now, because quite frankly, nobody understands. Sebastian Teo's face turns white, then pale green. He freezes, not knowing if he is dreaming.

GMS emphasizes, "DON'T BE FOOLED by PAP propaganda that the MP's role is to take care of the ward. You look at Davinder Singh, Wong Kan Seng, Shanmugam - do you think they really know what is going on at the ground level? Of course not! I tell you they have no clue! And as opposition voters, I expect you to be politically aware to know that!"


 
Mr Goh says, "It is the PAP pork barrel strategy to make you voters think that only PAP MP can take care of the ward in terms of providing good facilities, upgraded flats, upgraded lifts, etc. All that is to intimidate and bribe you voters! Only the PAP will link taking care of the ward to the job of the MP! The MP has nothing to do with it! It lies in the hands of HDB and the town council!"

Finally a brave member of the audience asks, "If the MP doesn't take care of the ward, then who is the overall in charge??"

GMS explains, "No, you see, the correct phrase is look after, not take care. You must get the distinction clear in your head!"

The brave soul continues to ask, "But what if something goes wrong??"

GMS exclaims, "Well its very simple. As an MP, if the town councillor is not doing his job, I will just fire him! As simple as that!"

People turn to look at each other, not knowing if they've come to the right rally. Sebastian Teo's face is now as dark as the overcast sky. He looks at GMS' teammates, many of whom are now openly weeping. He starts to think, perhaps, it is time to let go.

Mr Goh, sensing some confusion, tries to elaborate further, "Don't think that my job as MP will be easy. My job as MP is not to take care of the ward, it is to take care of the whole of Singapore by handling government legislation and debating policies!"

The audience is unconvinced.

Goh Meng Seng senses the mood is not quite right. So he tries to ameliorate the situation, "OK, let's move on to another topic. You know my teammates are of the best quality. You think the PAP has good candidates too? Well, don't be fooled by their marketing ploy."

"Take Yacoob Ibrahim, for instance," GMS continues. "The so-called team leader of Jalan Besar. You think he's a capable man? HAHA! Whole city got flooded because of his incompetence!"

"In fact, I told Lianhe Zaobao that Lily Neo is a really good MP. She stands up for the poor and destitute in Parliament. I think she can even be MCYS minister!"

GMS then relaxes into a broad smile, "Of course, I was only being sarcastic. But I don't expect all of you to catch my sarcasm. Only a chinese educated person will understand!"

A Malay member of the audience exclaims, "What nonsense!"

Sebastian Teo activates his microphone, "Security detail to rally stage. Get Goh Meng Seng off immediately!"

Two burly men whisk the computer repairman off the rally stage before the scene turns ugly. Then Sebastian Teo confronts Goh Meng Seng, his eyes red and bulging, his face blacker than thunder.

"Just what the hell are you doing?" Sebastian asks.

Goh Meng Seng says, "Relax, please, Sebastian. I can afford to play some mind games here and there."

Seb exclaims, "WTF?!"

Goh Meng Seng continues, "You see, Mah Bow Tan is very afraid of me. In facebook, you can tell, he is very scared. I can afford to take it cool and egg the audience. Believe me, I know what I am doing."

Sebastian Teo sits down and sinks his face into his trembling hands. And despite his long-held belief that real men never shed tears, he starts to cry.
 
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hahaha! well written and very funny! :D

i voted for him once, i will vote for him again if he comes to my ward. thanks!

i will vote for anyone, as long as he is not pap. thanks!
 
Great job bro, you captured everything about the man and it is indeed hilarious. Well done.
 
hahaha! well written and very funny! :D

i voted for him once, i will vote for him again if he comes to my ward. thanks!

i will vote for anyone, as long as he is not pap. thanks!

You're an idiot if your only criteria for voting is 'as long as he is not pap'.

So, out of curiosity, would you vote for one-legged, one-armed, half-blind, evil scheming retard of low IQ who has just raped your mum, killed your father and sodomised your younger brother but he's from the opposition party?

You only need to answer yes or no.

Thank you.
 
Well done,really enjoyable,more so for those who bother to know about GMS

Thank you so much!
 
hahaha! well written and very funny! :D

i voted for him once, i will vote for him again if he comes to my ward. thanks!

i will vote for anyone, as long as he is not pap. thanks!

Even its a bitch in heat, with the nipples dangling down?:D
 
We need talented script writer like you in our movie industry, you are 100 times better than Jack neo. Thumbs Up!:D:D
 
+1 for effort. Tell us something we don't know though next time.

The disdain for GMS must be so great that TFBH bothered to write 2 lengthy pieces on him. It's mind-boggling.
 
Every good political movie plot should include a sex scandal. Keep that in mind! :D
 
+1 for effort. Tell us something we don't know though next time.

The disdain for GMS must be so great that TFBH bothered to write 2 lengthy pieces on him. It's mind-boggling.

I don't have disdain for GMS, or for most opposition candidates.

Had a great laugh over Scroobal's MBS "exploit" and felt I should return my dues to this forum. Cheers! :cool:
 
I don't have disdain for GMS, or for most opposition candidates.

Had a great laugh over Scroobal's MBS "exploit" and felt I should return my dues to this forum. Cheers! :cool:

And yet despite the jesting exterior of your story, there are some uncomfortable truths about the man from his 'statements' ;)
 
MrGMS then relaxes into a broad smile, "Of course, I was only being sarcastic. But I don't expect all of you to catch my sarcasm. Only a chinese educated person will understand!"

A Malay member of the audience exclaims, "What nonsense!"

Another Malay : Kepala butoh bercakap cerita pukimah! Pulang rumah memberitahu anak-anak anda!*

GMS : What's that?

Another Malay : I was only being sarcastic. Only a Malay educated person will understand.



(*Cock head telling cunt story! Go home and tell your kids!)
 
hahaha! well written and very funny! :D

i voted for him once, i will vote for him again if he comes to my ward. thanks!

i will vote for anyone, as long as he is not pap. thanks!

So did i, i don't make the same mistake twice though :D
 
Mr Goh continues, "If - no, when - I am elected MP of Tampines together with my esteemed teammates, I want to make it clear to you. I will not be taking care of the ward."

A sudden stunned silence befalls the expectant crowd. Someone quite audibly mutters, "Huh?"

GMS explains, "You see, my dear citizens, the job of the MP is not really to take care of the ward. All that is actually handled by the town council. The MP's job is to handle legislation in Parliament."


good job bro black heart....show it to my colleagues...all laugh until the whole office can hear.... hahahahahah
 
"Well its very simple. As an MP, if the town councillor is not doing his job, I will just fire him! As simple as that!"

No wonder he won't do well in ward management. If the ward is not well managed, you don't fire the town councillor. You either fire the contractor, property officer or GM, depending on circumstances.

The MP who is town council chairman and the town councillor make up the town council management and they are nearly the same in rank and responsibility. This is equivalent to a private condo's MCST. Which town councillor do you want to sack? And why sack the town councillor and not town council chairman - who is the MP himself?

I hope GMS doesn't sack the wrong person. Unless he wants to sack himself.
 
Anyway I checked that GMS said Town Council Manager rather than Town Councillor, which is correct but not too correct either.

Estate management where cleaniless and repairs are concerned, you deal with the contractors and your own inhouse technicians. The town council manager is sacked only if there is impropriety of accounts.
 
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