Ferguson: "Welcome van Gaal to Man United. As you know, I have retired and I never, ever never, meddle in how the new manager runs Man United..."
van Gaal: "I'm relieved to hear that."
Ferguson: "...so I am glad that you will be playing Rooney as number 10 and moving Mata to the left. I am also glad that you will be buying Kevin Strootman instead of Cesc Fabregas or Toni Kroos. And that Luke Shaw and William Carvalho, they are good buys. I know, because I recommended them."
van Gaal: "But...but...but I have not made those decisions yet!"
Ferguson: "Oh yes, you have!"