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Carrick: "Who is the joker who put money on Benitez to become Man U manager huh?"
 
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Moyes: "Eh brother, should I take the job offer from Man U?"

Moyes' brother (driving the car, and who is also his agent): "Well, Man U said they will give you 2 Mercedez Benzs..."

Moyes: "But I don't need two cars."

Moyes' brother: "...both inclusive of COEs..."

Moyes: "Hurry up and drive over to Man U's office!"
 
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Benitez: "I want to apply for Man U manager job! I confess I am really a Man U supporter, not Liverpool, not Chelsea!....No chance? Wait, wait, how about considering me as an Interim Manager? I'm very good at that."
 
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Malaga players: "Referee, you stopped play just to tell us that Ferguson is retiring!!??"
 
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Moyes: "Baines, do you want to join me at Man U?"

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Baines: "I will join you on conditions. Of course, you must drop Patrice Evra in favour of me. Then I want you to sign Gareth Bale to play in front of me on the left. Also, buy a big target man like Lewandowski so that my crosses will not be wasted."
 


Moyes: "Hey Benitez, I hear you are looking for a job. And that you are interested in coming back to Merseyside."
 
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Ferguson: "Eh Moyes, you have only a few minutes left to decide and accept the job offer. In fact, time's up and you are on Fergie (injury) time liao."
 
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Mourinho: "KNN, this backlash against foreign talent has cost me the job at Man Utd. It is obvious that I am a better manager than Moyes. But Man U prefer local talent lah. Don't give me that bullshit about my behaviour is not Man U manager quality."
 


Philip Neville: "The new manager Moyes wants me to be his assistant manager at Man U. So I will be coaching you Ryan Giggs and Paul Scholes! Heehee!"

Giggs: "KNN, this is the last straw, I am going to retire."

Scholes: "So embarrassing, being coached by a young boy."
 
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Ferguson: "Moyes, I am handing over to you a great squad. And I am also going to give you my biggest weapon: my magic watch that can add precious seconds to injury time."

Moyes: "Awesome! The legendary Fergie Time watch."
 
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Kagawa: "Ang moh girls quite pretty. Makes me forget my adult AV Japanese girlfriend."
 
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Man Utd players: "The boss is retiring. We are going to do what we have not dared to do all these years: pull his hair and see if it is a wig as we have long suspect."
 
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Ferguson: "These are all my grandchildren but I was a bit busy with work the past 26 years; I don't even know how many grandchildren I have and what are their names."
 
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Rooney: "Son, do you like red?...No?...You prefer blue?...OK, OK, daddy will get you a blue Champions jersey...I will force through my transfer to Chelsea then."
 
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Ferguson: "I can remember all the years I won the 13 league titles with Man United, but I cannot remember the years my 11 grandchildren were born."
 
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Ferguson: "I wonder if it is too late to announce that I changed my mind about retiring."
 
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