Fan: "I was given an inside tip on who the next manager is going to be, so I rushed and tattooed it on my back. Then it turned out the manager was David Moyes. KNN."
Hart (with New York giants quarterback Eli Manning): "I want to audition for becoming a receiver. My credentials are that I am a soccer goalkeeper and pretty good at catching a ball."
Lewandowski: "Congratulations! You have secured your dream move to Bayern Munich."
Gotze: "And congratulations to you soon! You keep your word that you will join me soon, ok?"
(Gotze signed for Bayern Munich, and rumours that Lewandowski is also going.)
George Best: "If Man U ever needs me, I will get up from my grave."
(Paraphrasing LKY's quote: “Even from my sick bed, even if you are going to lower me into the grave and I feel something is going wrong, I will get up.”)
Mourinho (sticking out last finger): "This is how I rate the Wally Water shower dance video. I thought I was embarrassing to Real Madrid, but Wally Water is an even bigger embarrassment to Sinkies."
Real president Perez: "I have to officially deny that Real Madrid is going to engage Wally Water as its new team mascot. Ünbelievable rubbish rumours!"
Lewandowski: "Are you SERIOUS! Ask me to do the Wally Water dance in front of Neur (Bayern Muncih's keeper) to distract him during the Champions League Final!!??"
Lewandowski: "And coach's instruction is for me to do the Wally Water jig when we have a free-kick."
Gundogan: "Hee hee hee! For once I am glad I am only a substitute."
Bayern coach Heynckes: "This Borussia Dortmund's Wally Water tactic has got me really worried. I don't know how to counteract this move. Maybe I will have to resort to digging up an old jig: Upturn the Downturn."
Bayen Munich players: "Psst! Pass the word around. Borussia Dortmund chut pattern liao! They are doing the scary Wally Water tactic for the Champions League final."