Transmodified from hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1250497/1/.html
PEASANTPORE: Defence Minion Quack Doc Bargain Hen said stupid peasant voters of Punggol East have decided to be gluttons for punishment by supporting Labour Lian.
Bargain Bargain Hen, who is also a Peasant Representative of Bishan-Toa Payoh 'Buy one get 4 Free', described this as democracy, a clear hint that the regime will soon prepare a standard package of punitive measures to punish rebellous Punggol East pigeonhole blocks.
In contrast, Bargai Hen pointed out that greedy peasants in his GRC decided in previous elections that the regime is the better party to serve them. It is a clear hint that pork barrel projects may or may not be given to pro-regime peasants. However it is absolute certain that punishments in the form of AIM's heavy cannon fire will be targeted on Punggol East's Labour Town Council soon.
As a warning, Bargain Hen said he and fellow Bishan-Toa Payoh lackeys take this very seriously as they have 56% support and will continue to find new carrot-stick measures to ensure their peasants do not balk them.
Bargain Hen was forced to issue this response to questions from ISD approved 'reporters' on the win by Labour Lian in the Punggol East by-erection on January 26.
Labour Lian won 54.5 per cent of the valid votes while the regime's Cocky Koh 1-Biscuit-Tin had 43.7 per cent.
Bargain Hen, who was speaking before a retail politicking event on Sunday morning said while by-erections tended to see "big swinging dicks changes", the lesson for minions and peasants who poll less than 60% support is very clear - that peasant voters may finally decide to use the polling boxes to punish the regime e.g. pro-foreigners policies.
And once pro-regime peasant have decided, their faith is entrusted in the regime but that does not ensure they have priority queue for pork barrel projects. Pro regime peasants may not be given pork barrel projects but they must support Ruler Loong's pro-foreigners policies and high COE prices.
Responding to questions on whether the by-erection outcome is a report card of the regime's performance, Bargain Ng sidestep the landmine and claimed said this is a by-erection in just one constituency, similar to a one-night stand affair.
As a result, Bargain Hen concludes it should not make a difference - whether or not it's a slap in the face for Ruler Loong. He exhorts pro-regime lackeys to work hard to convince stupid peasants to support Ruler Loong's half baked policies e.g. 'Jobs for Foreigners but NS for Peasants'.
Asked about the point made by Angry Teochew Low TK that a stronger opposition presence in Imperial Court would make the regime work harder, Bargain Hen said: "Lumpar, thats queer logic, Teochew Low must be making out with Bed Bugs. I've been a minion here for nearly 132 full moons and I going to have a generous pension even if I cock up and lose an Erection. Do you think I care? I must honestly say that I knew I will never take over from Ruler Loong as I not blue blood....so that has never crossed my mind. I just follow Ruler Loong's decrees, enjoy fat cat stipends, look forward to pension funded retirement. Bishan-Toa Payoh peasants, want to thrust us doggie style in 2016, you think I care meh? I only know I must guard Ruler Loong's interests since that is related to my bonuses, its my core KPI ok."
He stressed obeying Ruler Loong's decrees is the prime motivators to ensure that a good life for himself.
To play some retail politics, Bargain Ng also reluctantly congratulated Labour Lian on her win.
PEASANTPORE: Defence Minion Quack Doc Bargain Hen said stupid peasant voters of Punggol East have decided to be gluttons for punishment by supporting Labour Lian.
Bargain Bargain Hen, who is also a Peasant Representative of Bishan-Toa Payoh 'Buy one get 4 Free', described this as democracy, a clear hint that the regime will soon prepare a standard package of punitive measures to punish rebellous Punggol East pigeonhole blocks.
In contrast, Bargai Hen pointed out that greedy peasants in his GRC decided in previous elections that the regime is the better party to serve them. It is a clear hint that pork barrel projects may or may not be given to pro-regime peasants. However it is absolute certain that punishments in the form of AIM's heavy cannon fire will be targeted on Punggol East's Labour Town Council soon.
As a warning, Bargain Hen said he and fellow Bishan-Toa Payoh lackeys take this very seriously as they have 56% support and will continue to find new carrot-stick measures to ensure their peasants do not balk them.
Bargain Hen was forced to issue this response to questions from ISD approved 'reporters' on the win by Labour Lian in the Punggol East by-erection on January 26.
Labour Lian won 54.5 per cent of the valid votes while the regime's Cocky Koh 1-Biscuit-Tin had 43.7 per cent.
Bargain Hen, who was speaking before a retail politicking event on Sunday morning said while by-erections tended to see "big swinging dicks changes", the lesson for minions and peasants who poll less than 60% support is very clear - that peasant voters may finally decide to use the polling boxes to punish the regime e.g. pro-foreigners policies.
And once pro-regime peasant have decided, their faith is entrusted in the regime but that does not ensure they have priority queue for pork barrel projects. Pro regime peasants may not be given pork barrel projects but they must support Ruler Loong's pro-foreigners policies and high COE prices.
Responding to questions on whether the by-erection outcome is a report card of the regime's performance, Bargain Ng sidestep the landmine and claimed said this is a by-erection in just one constituency, similar to a one-night stand affair.
As a result, Bargain Hen concludes it should not make a difference - whether or not it's a slap in the face for Ruler Loong. He exhorts pro-regime lackeys to work hard to convince stupid peasants to support Ruler Loong's half baked policies e.g. 'Jobs for Foreigners but NS for Peasants'.
Asked about the point made by Angry Teochew Low TK that a stronger opposition presence in Imperial Court would make the regime work harder, Bargain Hen said: "Lumpar, thats queer logic, Teochew Low must be making out with Bed Bugs. I've been a minion here for nearly 132 full moons and I going to have a generous pension even if I cock up and lose an Erection. Do you think I care? I must honestly say that I knew I will never take over from Ruler Loong as I not blue blood....so that has never crossed my mind. I just follow Ruler Loong's decrees, enjoy fat cat stipends, look forward to pension funded retirement. Bishan-Toa Payoh peasants, want to thrust us doggie style in 2016, you think I care meh? I only know I must guard Ruler Loong's interests since that is related to my bonuses, its my core KPI ok."
He stressed obeying Ruler Loong's decrees is the prime motivators to ensure that a good life for himself.
To play some retail politics, Bargain Ng also reluctantly congratulated Labour Lian on her win.
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