Sinkie woman Redditter : What would you do in my situation

What would you do in my situation
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I’m (24F) recently divorced my ex husband (30M) and I’m in $230k debt. I have no stable job as of now. All criticism are welcome I just want to put this here so others can learn from my lesson and marry the right person. We have a kid together and we stay at my mum place. We were both working and I married relatively young at 22.

Everything was okay I had my own savings, I was happy. I found out after a few months my ex husband wasn’t working. He said he was going to start a new business. I took out unsecured loans for his “business” a total of $145k (I was earning 4k after CPF)

He paid the loans back slowly always on time so I thought things were going well but I didn’t know that he asked our close friends for money without me knowing.

He borrowed $43,000 from my brother to “top up” our BTO payment when we didn’t even apply for a BTO. After that I found out he also borrowed from illegal moneylenders because I’ve been receiving messages and harassment to pay $2700.

Majority of the debts comes from the fact that he borrowed money from our family and friends, the money he borrowed from our friends was his plan to scam them that he would do investments with great returns etc, he used my NRIC to create new phone lines from SingTel and StarHub (delivered to my house, so not much verification needed) then sell off the phone., he used my Grab PayLater account for his transport and it increases from there bit by bit.

He was trying to cover another hole by digging another hole and for you guys that might think why didn’t you know about all of this it’s impossible you’re his wife!

I had to quit my job because I was admitted to the hospital because my blood was toxic so I had to do kidney dialysis so I’ve been in and out of the hospital.

He asked for a divorce because he said he wants to file for bankruptcy so no one can claim him and ran away like a coward and left me alone in the dark.

With debts that are accumulated majority from family and friends, they still ask me every single day when can I pay them back because the reasoning for the owing amount was all because “he borrowed for us”

I fell into a depression and see a psychiatrist last month. There’s line of creditors always calling me and I’ve consolidated my debts a total of $100k under DCP. I have debts towards the bank and my family and friends. Our family and friends grew impatient.

My debts are a total of $230,000. $100k+ DCP and the rest are just family, friends, GPL, phone lines. This is just my story to share for some to learn a lesson or for some to just feel better about their financial situation. I feel stuck, I’ve been actively searching for a job but I’m left with no answers and my freelance jobs only earns me about $2.7k (NO CPF). My family and friends contact me frequently growing impatient even though I’ve said that I’m in no position to pay everything back immediately.

What would you do if you were in my situation and knowing that my ex husband is always on Reddit so Joshua if you are seeing this don’t run away from the mess you created

I think if story is real, she may end it all...

Nanodick said:

Majority of the debts comes from the fact that he borrowed money from our family and friends, the money he borrowed from our friends was his plan to scam them that he would do investments with great returns etc

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She can find solace that at least her husband borrowed money from familee leelatives and friends, rather than gansiokbin cheated money from familee, leelatives and friends.

No peekture no talk

Nanodick said:

Everything was okay I had my own savings, I was happy. I found out after a few months my ex husband wasn’t working. He said he was going to start a new business. I took out unsecured loans for his “business” a total of $145k (I was earning 4k after CPF)

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She said she married young at 22, now 24.
For someone at around 23 to earn 4k after cpf =5k is alot de woh even with good degree.

sbfuncle said:

She said she married young at 22, now 24.
For someone at around 23 to earn 4k after cpf =5k is alot de woh even with good degree.

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Nanodick said:

feel stuck, I’ve been actively searching for a job but I’m left with no answers and my freelance jobs only earns me about $2.7k (NO CPF).

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Freelance also can make $2.7k de woh.
This lady seems to be good at earning money at 24.
Nothing to worlee lah. She can settle the 230k debt rather easilee.

Oops! Mods pls merge :

sbfuncle said:

Freelance also can make $2.7k de woh.
This lady seems to be good at earning money at 24.
Nothing to worlee lah. She can settle the 230k debt rather easilee.

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Hopefully...

She should live a dick-free life.

Husband kaput
Money kaput
Kidney kaput
I assume that dialysis thing us permanent. So no need to suicide just skip the dialysis.

pay lawyer and declare bankrupt oso lah .... no need to repay anymore .... if later marry, choose a wealthy man then marry lor .... problem solved.

This is the most direct & lucrative method to get out of the mess !
Better to cry inside a BMW than to smile on a bicycle

1. Each Human given the precious gift of life, is precious. There are ALWAYS solutions, no matter how deep one is in a mess, more so mess that had not reach life threatening levels while one still have a brain, arms and legs to continue on, for oneself and loved ones, as no mortal is born out of a vacuum, and is loved.


2. The insignificant nobody me had encountered a few with such similar issues, and ultimately, the blame lays not just entirely on the borrower, but also on the ones who gave the loans, expecting huge returns. Neither a borrower or lender should one be, as taught even during ancient times....

Should one lends money,
a)ALWAYS do the due diligence checks, quietly if need be, so as to ensure that such funds are truly used for the purposes that one is pleading for.
b)ALWAYS only lend what one can afford, perhaps out of sympathy, but never beyond what one needs, because if we cant help ourselves, then how can we help others?
c)ALWAYS do not expect any returns, once the money is loan out, as situations may change. Loan ONLY what one can afford to do so and expect it not returned.


3. Singapore is a Rule of Law Nation. We have an Independent Court Judicial system whereby anyone can file a claim against another so long as there are evidences. Thus should creditors demand payment, then by all means, use the legal channel.

Anyone whom uses outside of this channel, the lady can file a police report for HARRASMENT, regardless if they are loan sharks or relatives, and even be given Protection Orders that anyone whom violates such, will end up being charged and jailed.


4. Let's make it clear to the CREDITORS, the one who borrowed the money is the culprit, NOT the family members, regardless if that family member had enjoyed the money obtained, knowingly or unknowingly. The one that should face justice is the borrower. Find him, track him down and bring him to justice instead.


5. As for the lady, assuming that she still has a brain, arms and legs and capable of work, should focus on earning a living instead, to sustain her life than to worry about the pressures she unwantedly and unnecessarily stressed herself over.

Time heals, and even if she is ostracized by family members, she still can sleep with a clear mind to face the challenges of another day, as she was not the borrower who duped everyone including herself, who had shown her bank and spending records that she had not used any of such borrowed funds.

CUT off ALL contacts from everyone else, except for CRITICAL contacts such as loved ones, trusted and true friends, and needed employer contacts to stay focused on sustainability of life.

None needs to live the gift of life alone, but one can still live the gift of life even alone, as long as one still have a brain, arms and legs, and Hope does spring eternal.... the precious gift of life had never been promised by any mortal or immortal as being a bed of roses DAILY....it is what we do, as flawed mortals to realized mistakes made, correct them so that we may progress and evolve, not just for oneself, but for Civilization too....the journey of life is fortunately long for the young even in their 80s, like a long beautiful budding flower, to see although ugliness and dark sides of Humanity, but EQUALLY too, we Humanity see much, much more of beauty and wonders of this World and from evolved Humankind.....don't waste this precious journey of life.....


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How she got into $230K debt ?

If non Muslim, the fastest way would be selling the cat to clear the debt quickly.

Loofydralb said:

If non Muslim, the fastest way would be selling the cat to clear the debt quickly.

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That Kalifa girl very success wat.

Declare bankrupt save almost a quarter million bucks plus interests

batman1 said:

How she got into $230K debt ?

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Read her Reddit post to find out.

If you ask for advice on anything on Reddit, you deserve the absolute worst outcome in everything.

mojito said:

That Kalifa girl very success wat.

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She is an arab but non Muslim. In fact she is catholic.