Thank you, sometimes its hard relating to cousins of my age or younger when they were not aware how we were treated. They felt everyone was wonderful because unknown to them, these people deferred to them as they were rich. No one knew we were called names, etc but i remain thankful to them. Because of their treatment, i came to realise that water is thicker than blood and friends
were my new relatives. I had absolute strangers helping me out in so many ways that combined all my relatives together, very likely the stranger has helped out more.
Someone once asked my dad to help her in a gambling thing, in the end he got involved and lost "his money and she asked her husband to take the only tv we had back then which was a barely working set. No one remembers the good my dad did or when he stood up for his sisters when they were bullied by their husbands or when they threatened divorce, had outside flings, go to Vietnam etc.
My father took it all in his stride despite all these and never revealed most of what he knew to any of us. I didn't even know some of the offspring in the family were from outside sources yet they asserted dominance in the family. No matter, more power to them.
Yesterday we went to do Qing Ming at my grandfathers place, though sky was already very dark and raining heavily, we still went. Waited for an hour in the rain hoping that it will pass but pass it did in the end. We did not give up and in the end burnt all the offering. This year, i bought quite a bit both from SG and JB and it took about an hour plus to finish. My poor dad had to endure being squeezed in the car throughout the long journey there.
Dear all, It is not true however that only daughters will take care of the parents. None of my sisters and few of my aunts ever turned up for Qing Ming, etc though most of them practises Taoism or Buddhism. Yet the only daughter who faithfully attends Qing Ming (along with her husband) is a Christian! My dad wanted to take care of my grandmother but she is just too prejudiced and never gave him a chance.
One time i lamented i wished i could visit my grandmother, an uncle remarked, you could just visit her. He doesn't know every time we call, we get a rude put down. He didn't go through what we did and assumed that we had open access like he and his family. I finally told my dad yesterday, the reason why i declined another better school and choose my secondary school was to be purposely near to them but almost every time when i visited them, i was shooed away.
Its not as if my dad or family were ever in probation/jail, did anything as wrong as some of them did yet we were the only one so discriminated.
Anyway, the experiences helped to make me stronger and appreciate my friends much much more. My dad had a Malay friend from childhood who encouraged him and they helped out each other so much back then. I have asked my dad to try to contact him to see if he would consider buying a place in Johor and i will go all out to help him but my dad said he already have quite a few. I was glad when he told me his friend is now very rich and seldom contacts him, long life and happiness to you Uncle Ahmad, wherever you are.
Dad seldom contacts his friends or family as he is concerned that they will think he is trying to be close to them because they are rich. I am really proud of him sometimes, no matter his faults, he is a good man.
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