Do you regret having/not having kids

[SirRichard]

Hi,

Share your experience with me pls

Is having kids really so much joy? Whenever I read news of those teen gangs, student free lance escort or those who I'll treat their parents, I would think what if my children turn into such rascal? Also, Not forgetting the financial burden having children brings.

Anyone here whose perception changed after becoming father/ mother? I have friends who are crazy party animals and dont seem to like kids totally become fatherly figure and I wonder what changed them. Some told me they feel life more complete and some said they became more focus with work/ life.

 

[looneytan]

I love my kids, but look from diff angle it may be better if I didn't bring them onto this suffering world

 

[QXD]

I used to be a big player before I met my wife, I had achieved the "5Cs" pretty quickly in my career and had very little problems asking women out for dates.

I gave that life up when we started dating. We married a few years later, and soon we had our first child. Admittedly, it took some time for me to adjust to fatherhood. In hindsight, I nail it down to because Dads have very limited interactions with the baby until they start being conscious of who you are.

Somehow, babies are more attached to whoever feeds them, but the day they stretch out their tiny arms and call for you, laugh when you play with them or nestle on your shoulder when you carry them, that's when a Dad starts to really feel their love growing for their child.

I have altogether 2 kids now, and even though the house is so much more noisier when I get back from work, have to wake up in the middle of the night to tend to them occasionally, worry over family finances and their education, I really can't imagine wanting to ever give all this up and go back to what I was before.

 

[Debonerman]

I love my kids, but look from diff angle it may be better if I didn't bring them onto this suffering world

So true.........Imagine the horror of having cheebye for a mouth retarded son like our forum Moderator Jah_rastafar_I_am_a_dumbfuck.

 

[CheongSam]

So true.........Imagine the horror of having cheebye for a mouth retarded son like our forum Moderator Jah_rastafar_I_am_a_dumbfuck.

wrong upbringing maybe..?

 

[scroobal]

It can be a very sensitive question. Couples that cannot conceive that go thru life with so much pain. Sometimes they go thru life giving the impression that just not keen to have kids. Even with progress in science the desire to have someone who is only biologically linked to only one partner is sometimes not there.

For others, they have gone so fast and too much into their career or their lifestyle that having kids seems an imposition. Then there are others who have convinced that the economics is just too high or that bringing kids into this world is not right not matter how warped the notion is.

Among those that have kids, many do it because it the natural thing to do so or that it is expected. Yet there are others that have always desired to have kids for the love to be shared, to build a family environment, to invest in the future of the world and to play a significant part for mankind.

For those who are never clear or never sure which way they should, it will be a constant chicken and egg argument. Fortunately or unfortunately they can only find out when they have kids.

But others can sense if they made the right choice when they grow old and the circle of drinking buddies and nail filing gang starts to shrink or disappear.

 

[CheongSam]

Few of my friends really spoilt their kids rotten.cant blame them cause they really tried very hard to have one.but by over- pampering them,i guess it will bring more harm than good.

 

[Conqueror]

You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

Is having kids really so much joy? Whenever I read news of those teen gangs, student free lance escort or those who I'll treat their parents, I would think what if my children turn into such rascal? Also, Not forgetting the financial burden having children brings.

You need a bigger investment portfolio to reduce risk and get more chance to find one in bull eye. Sorry, just kidding.

This matrix tells you what may become a successful product or a big loser. Stocks ?

 

[breaknews]

Re: You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

Never ever regretted in having kids in my life.

Naughty teens are the result of bad parenting or neglected parenting when they were young. Just spend extra time during the first few crucial years help to develop good relationship with your child.

I am blessed by God to have a good mother for my child. She took the initiative to read alot about raising kids. She suggested we give the best to our child, especially related to education. And I tend to learn and agree with her. Naturally the kids will stick with mom more than dad, but if you spend some time playing with them, they will want to stick with you.

I cannot explain the fulfillment in being a parent, you have to be in it to fully understand it and feel complete in life. Like they suddenly burp out some funny response to your questions or they have a need for you. Unpleasant stuffs like changing diapers have become non issues. At the end of the day, you will find it all worthwhile to dedicate your time and money to your children.

I am not very rich I but I think with kids, my life have been richer.

That is all I can say.

 

[scroobal]

Re: You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

Both you and QXD have expressed it well.

Never ever regretted in having kids in my life.

Naughty teens are the result of bad parenting or neglected parenting when they were young. Just spend extra time during the first few crucial years help to develop good relationship with your child.

I am blessed by God to have a good mother for my child. She took the initiative to read alot about raising kids. She suggested we give the best to our child, especially related to education. And I tend to learn and agree with her. Naturally the kids will stick with mom more than dad, but if you spend some time playing with them, they will want to stick with you.

I cannot explain the fulfillment in being a parent, you have to be in it to fully understand it and feel complete in life. Like they suddenly burp out some funny response to your questions or they have a need for you. Unpleasant stuffs like changing diapers have become non issues. At the end of the day, you will find it all worthwhile to dedicate your time and money to your children.

I am not very rich I but I think with kids, my life have been richer.

That is all I can say.

 

[SirRichard]

guys, thanks for sharing your valuable opinion.

 

[tonychat]

Re: You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

Both you and QXD have expressed it well.

why dun you go one corner and fuck yourself...

 

[Kinana]

Fun to have kids, but they will turn into monsters if you do not know how to discipline them.
Get a good idea of parenting before you have kids. Watch other people's kids, then you will know what to avoid doing.

 

[looneytan]

Re: You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

why dun you go one corner and fuck yourself...

Why dun you go one corner and ask for points while fucking your ladyboy's asshole

 

[nirvarq]

Re: You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

What do u wanna do if u don't wanna have wife, kids.... ? Then do whatever u want & have wife, kids when u want to.

Don't force yourself to do anything, life is short.

My experience or anyone else experience is different from yours because of family background different, job, mentality different.

Having kids is no joy but full of worries and slavery rofl... :P

I cannot sleep until my 20 yr old boy is back home at night.
I have no peace when my 16 yr old girl is out, day or night...

But when they smile and call me daddy enthusiastically when they reach home... all is worth. :P

 

[lifeafter41]

Hi,

Share your experience with me pls

Is having kids really so much joy? Whenever I read news of those teen gangs, student free lance escort or those who I'll treat their parents, I would think what if my children turn into such rascal? Also, Not forgetting the financial burden having children brings.

Anyone here whose perception changed after becoming father/ mother? I have friends who are crazy party animals and dont seem to like kids totally become fatherly figure and I wonder what changed them. Some told me they feel life more complete and some said they became more focus with work/ life.

It is the journey, not the destination that counts.

 

[Raiders]

Sometimes, when I read news about children being abandoned, it broke my heart. My wife and I loves children. But since a miscarriage early last year, there is still no good news. I can still remembered going to the gynae with her. Until today, I did not know if it was my fault for bringing her to that gynae who sounded so irresponsible or her body was not in the right condition. That gynae was introduced by my friend whose wife had just delivered. However, we felt that she was not professional enough. (Side track abit. That clinic was near to GMS AMK shop and I did see GMS and his mother that evening when I walked pass his shop)

There are people in the world who yearn to have children but do have one. There are people who do not want but kept having them. Like I mentioned before, my wife has a friend who had an affair, gave birth to one baby girl and barely 2 years later, had another affair and is now 6 months pregnant again Her first baby daughter is quite adorable.

Last CNY, I went back to Vietnam with my wife and her 4 nieces age 2-6 were all so cute and adorable. There was one who was especially smart despite her age. At barely 2 years old, she could sing and talk very well. On the day when we were supposed to return to Singapore, my father-in-law chartered those mercedez van and brought the whole family to send us off. I knocked by head really badly while going up the bus and I was in real pain. So throughout the journey, I was sitting behind sulking. Then at the airport, this 2 year old little did the unthinkable when saying goodbye to me. I was asking her for a flying kiss(as we normally will ask from children) and she (carried by her mother) just lean forward and massaged my forehead with her little hand. It was a gesture that sealed her place in my heart.

 

[The Philistine]

Re: You Need Bigger Investment Portfolio

You need a bigger investment portfolio to reduce risk and get more chance to find one in bull eye. Sorry, just kidding.

This matrix tells you what may become a successful product or a big loser. Stocks ?

What has the BCG model got to do with your decision to have children?

I don't see the reason for wanting to have children in this shithole. Why would anyone put his children at a disadvantage? Children are subjected to an education system based on rote-learning; their natural creativity is destroyed at an early age. If the child is male, he has to waste two years of his youth doing stupid shit like NS while his foreigner classmates continue their academic pursuits. After he has served his time and gone to university, his parents have to foot his course fees while undeserving foreign dogs do not have to pay a single cent. When he steps into the working world, he suffers discrimination in the workplace because he has to go back for reslavery every year and hiring managers and HR bitches prefer to employ foreign trash whith dodgy qualifications. When he gets married, he is looking at paying off 30 years of housing loans for the "privilege" of exisitng in a fucking pigeon hole. When he, his spouse, his children, and his parents get sick, he has to handle the hefty medical bills.

If I ever get married, I would never have children here. Sometimes the most responsible act of parenting is not to become a parent.

 

[Debonerman]

Why bring children whom you will love with all your heart into the kind of world and in particular Singapore in this day and age to live out their lives?

So damn complicated, overpopulated, polluted, despotic and you even have to bear with a dumfuck like forum moderator Jah_rastar_fa_I when you come in here to unwind!

 

[facebook]

i have a girl in her teens, and a baby boy (9 months). their big age gap is our deliberate planning. before the baby boy arrived, my girl was very adamant that she should be the only child. after we had the baby boy, my girl couldn't have enough of carrying and cuddling her little baby brother.

having kids is difficult to describe in words. its true we have to make some sacrifices like having lesser pte time between me and wife and not being able to go for long holidays at least until the baby is 2. not to mention the changing of diapers + sleep deprivation and disruption (+ everytime go out with baby need to bring a lot of barang barang). but this is all worthwhile. i see my baby boy grow and start to learn flipping, turning, crawling and is now standing without support. it also bring back memories of my teen girl when she was still a baby.

i am enjoying everyday of seeing my little baby boy grow from an infant to a toddler, and my little gal grow from a kid to a teenager.

i can say i have no regrets being the father of my 2 kids. the joy they bring to the lifes of me and my wife far outweigh the little sacrifices that we make. i have thought of retiring in KL (my wife hometown) when i become old but the thought of not being able to see my kids everyday is quite unbearable. so i guess i will stay put in sgland.