What SMRT's latest Lackey CEO meant to say....
hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1228958/1/.html
Peasantpore: SMRT's latest CEO Despardo Quack pledged to focus on the transport cartel's role as a profitable transport operator who will make Ho Jinx happy with regular dividend payouts.
Despardo Quack outlined his priorities on his first day in his new fat cat job on Monday. For entertainment, he crowed SMRT's core business is to provide a profitable but reliable, efficient and safe transport system.
This is what he meant to tell peasants...but ultimately in an Asiatic society, some things are better left unstated....
"KNNCCB, it was Ruler Loong who ultimately give the Public Serpent Commission the green light to make a Scholar. Of course, I pledge my loyalty to Ruler Loong. His wishes are my commands and what makes Ruler Loong happy, makes me Ah Quack happy. I must therefore ensure SMRT continues to generate super normal profits so that Ho Jinx's Temasick can use the dividend payouts for oversea 'speculations'. Passengers' grumbles, ai yah, they always grumble lor. If the train service breaks, I will order my Operations Managers to wayang and you will see them performing as ushers on the road. For entertainment, Mouthpiece reporters will snap pictures of those 'managers' ushing peasants and make me look good. You think I am so stupid to give peasants a good ride is it? Not happy, walk lor, dun comprain, comprain ok, this is not Norway or Finland ok.," said Ah Quack.
He said his focus is to strengthen SMRT's profits and will work with PTC and LTA to rubber stamp more regular fare hikes. In addition, No Porn Lui has agreed to provide further bailouts regularly with Tarman's assistance. Cost centre activities e.g. engineering and maintenance capabilities, as well as customer service and safety culture will be given lip service.
Ah Quack said the his SMRT faces challenges such as an ageing rail infrastructure, increasing ridership and peasants should not go overboard and demand heads roll whenever trains break down. Those arty farty baboons who make the most noise will be culled, mince into meat patties and pack to Peasantpore Zoo as lion food. The arses who dared to compare SMRT with the Hongkie Canto MTR will be given sublte warnings from Infernal Security Dogs. Stubborn arses will be issued specific offers to harass their next of kin if they refuse to back down and continue bugging SMRT for accountability.
But Ah Quack pointed out there are more exciting opportunities for SMRT earn profits since No Porn Lui and Tarman have both agreed regular bailouts and financial assistance will be given to SMRT at taxpayers' expense. All Ah Quack has to do is to open his mouth and No Porn Lui+Tarman will write a blank cheque for him to buy more trains or upgrade the tracks. A truly cushy life for Ah Quack.
In addition, the various lackeys in PTC and LTA pledged more regular and sharper fare hikes. More importantly both Jiat Leow Bee organisations will also stonewall complaints from peasantswhile managing 'quality of every commuter's experience'.
Learning from Indraneh on the finer points of staging wayangs, Ah Quack spent his first day with SMRT at the stations and in trains and buses, meeting management staff and station crew. He choose to meet commuters after the peak hours to show doubting Ang Mohs that Peasantpore's transport system is well oiled.
Ah Quack also spoke to bus drivers and station serfs at Choa Chu Kang bus interchange - thanking them for their work and hinted the rebellious bus drivers who balk the 6 days week and make lackey Ong resigned in disgrace will be punished.
Ah Quack held meetings with senior fat cats at SMRT's head office in North Bridge Road to purge SMRT of former DFS fat cats. He is expected to address mid level company executives in a Yankee style town hall session in the afternoon and share his insights on how Mindef will deal with troublesome bus drivers who angle for more pay but balk 6 days working week. It is a calculated step to let them know Lebsian Saw's silly antics days are over and they better adapt to the Mindef command and control style of management.
On October 2, he will visit technical serfs involved in changing out worn-out sleepers on the train track. The state mouthpiece will adopt a North Korea trick and take pictures showing Ah Quack advising technical serfs on cheaper, faster and better ways to boost turnaround time.
hxxp://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/1228958/1/.html
Peasantpore: SMRT's latest CEO Despardo Quack pledged to focus on the transport cartel's role as a profitable transport operator who will make Ho Jinx happy with regular dividend payouts.
Despardo Quack outlined his priorities on his first day in his new fat cat job on Monday. For entertainment, he crowed SMRT's core business is to provide a profitable but reliable, efficient and safe transport system.
This is what he meant to tell peasants...but ultimately in an Asiatic society, some things are better left unstated....
"KNNCCB, it was Ruler Loong who ultimately give the Public Serpent Commission the green light to make a Scholar. Of course, I pledge my loyalty to Ruler Loong. His wishes are my commands and what makes Ruler Loong happy, makes me Ah Quack happy. I must therefore ensure SMRT continues to generate super normal profits so that Ho Jinx's Temasick can use the dividend payouts for oversea 'speculations'. Passengers' grumbles, ai yah, they always grumble lor. If the train service breaks, I will order my Operations Managers to wayang and you will see them performing as ushers on the road. For entertainment, Mouthpiece reporters will snap pictures of those 'managers' ushing peasants and make me look good. You think I am so stupid to give peasants a good ride is it? Not happy, walk lor, dun comprain, comprain ok, this is not Norway or Finland ok.," said Ah Quack.
He said his focus is to strengthen SMRT's profits and will work with PTC and LTA to rubber stamp more regular fare hikes. In addition, No Porn Lui has agreed to provide further bailouts regularly with Tarman's assistance. Cost centre activities e.g. engineering and maintenance capabilities, as well as customer service and safety culture will be given lip service.
Ah Quack said the his SMRT faces challenges such as an ageing rail infrastructure, increasing ridership and peasants should not go overboard and demand heads roll whenever trains break down. Those arty farty baboons who make the most noise will be culled, mince into meat patties and pack to Peasantpore Zoo as lion food. The arses who dared to compare SMRT with the Hongkie Canto MTR will be given sublte warnings from Infernal Security Dogs. Stubborn arses will be issued specific offers to harass their next of kin if they refuse to back down and continue bugging SMRT for accountability.
But Ah Quack pointed out there are more exciting opportunities for SMRT earn profits since No Porn Lui and Tarman have both agreed regular bailouts and financial assistance will be given to SMRT at taxpayers' expense. All Ah Quack has to do is to open his mouth and No Porn Lui+Tarman will write a blank cheque for him to buy more trains or upgrade the tracks. A truly cushy life for Ah Quack.
In addition, the various lackeys in PTC and LTA pledged more regular and sharper fare hikes. More importantly both Jiat Leow Bee organisations will also stonewall complaints from peasantswhile managing 'quality of every commuter's experience'.
Learning from Indraneh on the finer points of staging wayangs, Ah Quack spent his first day with SMRT at the stations and in trains and buses, meeting management staff and station crew. He choose to meet commuters after the peak hours to show doubting Ang Mohs that Peasantpore's transport system is well oiled.
Ah Quack also spoke to bus drivers and station serfs at Choa Chu Kang bus interchange - thanking them for their work and hinted the rebellious bus drivers who balk the 6 days week and make lackey Ong resigned in disgrace will be punished.
Ah Quack held meetings with senior fat cats at SMRT's head office in North Bridge Road to purge SMRT of former DFS fat cats. He is expected to address mid level company executives in a Yankee style town hall session in the afternoon and share his insights on how Mindef will deal with troublesome bus drivers who angle for more pay but balk 6 days working week. It is a calculated step to let them know Lebsian Saw's silly antics days are over and they better adapt to the Mindef command and control style of management.
On October 2, he will visit technical serfs involved in changing out worn-out sleepers on the train track. The state mouthpiece will adopt a North Korea trick and take pictures showing Ah Quack advising technical serfs on cheaper, faster and better ways to boost turnaround time.
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