What does the Bible say about marriage?

[Psalm23]

What does the Bible say about marriage?​

ANSWER

The Bible records the creation of marriage in Genesis 2:23–24: “The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called “woman,” for she was taken out of man.’ For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” God created man and then made woman to complement him. In the Bible marriage is God’s “fix” for the fact that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18).

As the Bible describes the first marriage, it uses the word helper to identify Eve (Genesis 2:20). To “help” in this context means “to surround, to protect or aid.” God created Eve to come alongside Adam as his "other half," to be his aid and his helper. The Bible says that marriage causes a man and woman to become “one flesh.” This oneness is manifested most fully in the physical union of sexual intimacy. The New Testament adds a warning regarding this oneness: “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6).

Several of Paul’s epistles refer to marriage and how believers are to operate within the marriage relationship. One such passage is Ephesians 5:22–33. Studying this passage provides some key truths concerning what the Bible says marriage should be.

The Bible, in Ephesians 5, says a successful biblical marriage involves both the husband and the wife fulfilling certain roles: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior” (Ephesians 5:22–23). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church” (Ephesians 5:28–29). “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31).

When a believing husband and wife institute God’s principles of marriage in the Bible, a solid, healthy marriage results. A biblically based marriage keeps Christ as the head of the man and the wife together. The biblical concept of marriage involves a oneness between a husband and wife that pictures the oneness of Christ with His church.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

Thanks for the posting.

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Alternatively, just google the following and it will bring you to my website:

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God Bless

 

[Patriot]

Does the Bible say what is the proper age for marriage?​

ANSWER

The Bible does not specify any particular age requirement for a person to be married; rather, it speaks in general terms of marriage being for those who are “grown up” (see Ruth 1:12–13). Both the language and culture of the Bible strongly support the idea that puberty, at bare minimum, is a condition that must be met before becoming someone’s spouse. This fits with one of the historical purposes of marriage—conceiving and rearing children. Scriptural evidence indicates that those too young for childbearing are not candidates for marriage, though there is no explicit age given in the Bible.

It is reasonable to look at the practices of ancient Judaism for cultural considerations on the proper age for marriage. According to tradition, boys were not considered “men,” and therefore not marriageable, until the age of 13. Girls were not considered “women” until age 12. These ages more or less correspond to the onset of puberty. While those ages might seem too young to us, they are not unusual ages for getting married, historically. It has only been within the last century or so that the average age of getting married has drifted into the late twenties and early thirties.

It’s also important to recall that maturity—often used as a benchmark for allowing sexuality and marriage—is highly cultural. In modern Western countries, people are not generally expected to be self-sufficient until they are nearly in their twenties, or even later. For most of human history, however, people were expected to “grow up” much sooner. The age of getting married was normally young, as everyone was expected to mature socially and emotionally more quickly than today.

The Hebrew language also supports the idea that puberty is a requirement for a legitimate marriage. Ezekiel 16 contains a metaphor for God’s relationship to Israel. In this passage, God cares for Israel, pictured as an orphaned girl in various stages of development. The Lord first sees her birth, then watches her grow up: “You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown. . . . Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you” (verses 7–8). In this illustration, it’s only after the girl arrives at physical maturity, sometime after (not during) puberty when she is “old enough to love,” that she is ready for marriage. Other translations say the girl “grew tall and came of age” (NET) and “grew up, matured, and became a young woman” (GWT).

Hebrew, as English, uses different words for younger and older members of either sex. Naˈar refers to young men, while yeled refers to boys age 12 or younger. For females, naˈarah means “a marriageable woman,” while yaldah refers to a girl 11 or younger—too young for marriage. Once again, these words and definitions seem to enforce the idea that the onset of puberty is a requirement for marriage. Before that time, a boy or girl is not of an age to be married.

The New Testament has even less to say about the age of getting married. Still, there are clues in New Testament Greek similar to those in Hebrew. For example, 1 Corinthians 7:36 uses the word hyperakmos in reference to a female. In this case, it’s a young woman who’s engaged to be married. Hyperakmos is translated as “past her youth” (NASB), past “the flower of her age” (KJV), or “past marriageable age” (CSB). The word literally means “ripe,” a common euphemism in many cultures for describing a woman’s capability for bearing children. Paul’s inclusion of the word definitely indicates that the marriageable age was sometime after puberty, when a woman is fully grown. But Scripture nowhere sets a definitive marriageable age: physical maturity is a must, but when a girl reaches maturity can vary. The 12-year-old in Mark 5:41–42 is still a “little girl” and obviously not ready for marriage.

As with many other issues, the proper age for getting married has a cultural component that the Bible does not specifically override. What constitutes a proper marriage age can vary from culture to culture and still fall within the bounds of scripturally proper conduct. The bottom line is that pedophilia and child marriages are unacceptable. A person must be fully grown to be married; he or she must be physically mature enough for sexuality and child-bearing. Beyond that, the Bible does not specify a minimum age for marriage.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Preparing for Marriage: Discover God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love by Dennis Rainey

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

What does it mean that the marriage bed is undefiled (Hebrews 13:4)?​

ANSWER

Chapter 13 is the concluding chapter of the book of Hebrews and ends with a series of final exhortations to Christians. Verse 4 says, “Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge” (NASB). The Greek word translated “undefiled” is only used in this exact form four times in the New Testament, and it means “uncontaminated” or “set apart.” Hebrews 7:26 uses this word to describe Jesus Christ, our high priest, and James 1:27 says that “undefiled” religion is that which helps widows and orphans and remains unstained by the world.

The marriage bed is to be kept pure or undefiled. In other words, the sexual intimacy shared between a husband and wife is to be reserved for that couple alone. God created the sexual union to be between a husband and a wife. Period. Only. No other use of sexuality is ever condoned in Scripture. To abuse or misuse God’s gift of sex is to defile the marriage bed.

A marriage bed can be defiled in several ways:

1. Fornication. When two unmarried people engage in sexual intercourse, they are defiling God’s good gift of sex. Those who have not vowed themselves to each other in a binding lifetime union have no right to exploit the culmination of such a vow. Sex was designed to be the final act of consecration when a couple pledge their lives to each other in a sacred covenant. All forms of sexuality outside a marriage union are bringing dishonor to the honorable institution of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:18).

2. Adultery. When one or both parties in a sexual union are married to someone else, God calls their sexual acts adultery. Adultery was punishable by death under God’s Old Covenant with Israel (Deuteronomy 22:22; Leviticus 20:10). Even though we no longer live under that covenant, adultery is still high on God’s list of moral evils (Matthew 5:28, 32) and is always named as a sin that keeps unrepentant offenders from inheriting the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:19; 1 Corinthians 6:9).

3. Homosexuality. Another defilement of the marriage bed is the perversion of men having sex with men or women with women. Despite our world’s current embrace of homosexual practice, this vile act has never been and will never be sanctioned or blessed by God. Homosexuality is a distortion of God’s gift of physical unity between husband and wife and is the only sexual activity labeled an abomination (Leviticus 20:13). The prohibition against homosexuality carries right into the New Covenant, as it is listed with those sins that keep the unrepentant out of the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9; 1 Timothy 1:9–10; Jude 1:7).

4. Prostitution. Proverbs 7 gives a detailed look at the destruction that comes upon a young man who allows himself to be seduced by a harlot. The sin of harlotry is often used as a metaphor for unfaithful Israel (Hosea 4:15; Jeremiah 3:8; Judges 8:33). Christians are warned to avoid such immorality because of the sacredness of the marriage bed (1 Corinthians 6:15–16; Ephesians 5:3).

5. Pornography. Using pornography for sexual gratification is a more modern way to defile the marriage bed. Pornographic books, videos, sexting, and the use of other sexually explicit materials also defile the sanctity of the sexual union between a man and wife. Porn has the effect of bringing strangers into the bedroom, even if only through the eyes. Jesus warned that lust associated with looking at a woman is equivalent to adultery before God (Matthew 5:28). Pornography has elevated sexual lust to an art form, but it is still corrupting to the heart and a sinful defiling of the sexual act.

God created human beings to be pure in body and spirit. Sexual union between a husband and wife was a part of that purity (Genesis 2:24–25). When Adam and Eve sinned, sexuality was tainted along with everything else. Jesus purchased the power to reclaim that purity through His sacrificial death on the cross (2 Corinthians 5:21). No sin, including sexual immorality, is too great for the power of that atoning death and resurrection to pardon. Even though we may have defiled the marriage bed in many ways, God can restore sexual purity and holiness when we repent and commit our lives to following Him (Psalm 51:7; 1 John 1:7).

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

What does it mean that the marriage bed is undefiled? | GotQuestions.org​

Got Questions Ministries

What does it mean that the marriage bed is undefiled in Hebrews 13:4? A marriage bed can be defiled in several ways: Fornication, Adultery, Homosexuality, Prostitution, and Pornography to name a few. An Undefiled Marriage bed is a key to sexually purity in marriage and knowing how far is too far in marriage according to the Bible. In this video on Hebrews 13 4, Pastor Nelson with Bible Munch answers the question, "What does it mean that the marriage bed is undefiled?"

*** Source Article: https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage...

*** Check out, Bible Munch! https://www.youtube.com/BibleMunch

 

[Patriot]

What sort of things should be in Christian wedding/marriage vows?​

ANSWER

When a man and a woman marry, they begin a new existence as a unit, and this concept finds its origin in the Bible with the first man and woman. The God who created mankind also created marriage, and it is to Him we must look for guiding principles in our wedding vows. While the traditional wedding/marriage vows are not specifically found in the Bible, they are based on solid biblical principles. A marriage is, by definition, a joining of two into one (Genesis 2:24). And that joining involves union, love, honor, and submission. Christian wedding/marriage vows should first reflect these biblical principles.

Genesis 2:24 gives the very first principle—union. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” This union was designed to be for life, and Jesus said no man is to separate what God has joined (Mark 10:9). Despite any cultural trends to the contrary, God’s plan is for one man and one woman to be joined in marriage until death separates them (Romans 7:2).

The second principle is love. While Western cultures usually see love as the foundation and purpose of marriage, the Bible takes a different approach. Ephesians 5:25 commands “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is not the emotional, romantic love that we usually associate with marriage, but a self-sacrificing, giving love that seeks the protection and best interests of someone else. When a man loves his wife in this way, she will be delighted to stay with him for the rest of her life.

The third principle, honor, is also directed at husbands. “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers” (1 Peter 3:7). This honor is closely related to the love we just spoke of. When the husband sees his wife as a precious treasure that should be carefully protected, he will give her the honor she needs.

The fourth principle is directed primarily at wives. Ephesians 5:22 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.” This is coupled with respect in Ephesians 5:33. This submission and respect are in conjunction with the love and honor that the husband shows his wife. As the wife submits to and respects her husband, she recognizes that God has set the man as the head of the home (Ephesians 5:23). Just as the wife is to submit to her husband, he is to submit to God (1 Corinthians 11:3).

The use of the word vow sometimes causes confusion when considering Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:33–37, where Jesus teaches that the practice of making certain oaths is “from the evil one.” However, in that context, Christ is speaking of spontaneous oaths—a somewhat different use of the word vow—and not carefully considered promises. Wedding vows are not in the same category as telling someone, “I swear on my life” or “cross my heart, hope to die.” Jesus condemned casual promises, not wedding vows.

There are other things that can be included in wedding vows, but these four foundations—union, love, honor, and submission—should form the nucleus of biblical wedding vows. Those who take these vows acknowledge God as sovereign in the lives of His people and submit to His plan as being the way for blessing and success. The traditional forms of wedding vows address each of these principles and can serve as good guides in writing personal vows. Marriage is a picture of Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:32), and when the vows address both the physical and spiritual dimensions, God can be glorified in the ceremony.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Christian Wedding Planner by Ruth Muzzy

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[Patriot]

When should a Christian couple seek marriage counseling?​

ANSWER

Any couple struggling in their marriage should seek counseling sooner rather than later. Every marriage includes bumps and turns that if not handled correctly can create chasms too wide to bridge. Often, either from pride or shame, a couple does not seek help with issues early enough to save the marriage. They wait until so much damage has been inflicted that the marriage is already dead and the counselor has little to work with. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety" (ESV). When we face battles too great to wage alone, wise people seek wise counsel.

Recurring issues in a marriage are like road signs warning of danger to come. Some of these road signs are:

1. Inability to resolve conflict in a healthy way.
2. One partner dominating the relationship so that the needs of the other are not met.
3. Inability to compromise.
4. Either partner stepping outside the marriage to "fix" the problems.
5. Breakdown in communication.
6. Confusion about the roles of each spouse in the marriage.
7. Pornography.
8. Deceit.
9. Disagreement about parenting styles.
10. Addictions.

When a couple recognizes any of these warning signs, it is wise to seek godly counsel. However, not all counsel that presents itself as "Christian" is based on the truth of God’s Word. Friends and family may mean well, but can offer unscriptural solutions that only confuse and make the problem worse. A counselor should be chosen based upon his or her philosophy and adherence to Scripture as the foundation for emotional health. Many horror stories have come from people who sought counsel from those they trusted, only to find "wolves in sheep’s clothing" (Matthew 7:15) who have excused sin and instructed the wronged spouse to "get over it."

A few questions in the initial interview can eliminate some of those "wolves" before time and money are wasted on them. Couples investigating counselors should consider the following:

1. Is this counselor affiliated with one of the national organizations for Christian counselors, such as AACC (American Association of Christian Counselors), the NCCA (National Christian Counselors Association), or the NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors)?

2. Where did the counselor receive training or licensing? The likelihood is greater that you will receive biblically based therapy if the counselor has been trained through a Christian counseling program rather than a secular organization or university. A state license does not ensure you will receive better counsel. Excellent scriptural counseling can be found through local pastors, lay counselors, and support groups.

3. Is this counselor experienced in dealing with the particular issues involved? A few key questions such as, "What is your approach on pornography addiction?" will help you decide whether or not you agree with this counselor’s perspective.

4. Do you agree with this counselor’s philosophy and/or religious affiliation? There are sects and denominations that carry the banner of "Christian" but may be too far outside a couple’s belief system for them to benefit from counseling. Choosing a counselor from within a couple’s own religious framework may make the counseling more effective.

There is nothing that can promise a perfect outcome, but considering those questions may help narrow the field. God is for marriage; He hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). The first step a couple should take is to ask God to guide them to the right counselor. It may take a bit of scouting, but finding a counselor who can bring godly wisdom to a troubled marriage is worth any effort.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

Is the idea of a spiritual marriage biblical?​

ANSWER

This is a difficult question to answer, as the Bible does not directly address the situation. The Bible does contain principles, though, which definitely apply to the situation. First, it should be said that a government should not "punish" marriage. It is strange and seems entirely unnecessary for the government to take away retirement benefits due to an elderly person getting married. If an elderly person needs the income while not being married, there is nothing about getting married that will suddenly cause the financial need to disappear. Whatever the case, though, the law exists, so the question arises: how should Christians respond to this law?

There are two key principles which address this situation. First, the Bible instructs Christians to obey the laws of the government (Romans 13:1-7). The only situation in which civil disobedience is biblically allowable is when the government commands something that God specifically forbids (Acts 5:29). The issue of retirement income for elderly couples is obviously not something the Bible has a command regarding. As foolish and unnecessary as this law might be, it does not contradict God’s Word. Therefore, a Christian should obey it. An elderly couple seeking a "spiritual marriage" while avoiding a legal marriage is seeking to escape the requirements of the law. It is essentially no different than cheating on taxes. We are to obey the law. We are not to seek loopholes that allow us to escape the demands of the law.

Second, there is the issue of faith. If an elderly couple believes it is God’s will for them to marry, and if marriage will result in retirement income being lost, the elderly couple should trust that God will provide for them. It would not be God’s will for an elderly couple to live in poverty and destitution. How would God provide? There are many possible ways: through the extended families, through the church, through other government assistance programs, through a more conservative budget, and so forth. Again, though, the issue is faith. If an elderly couple believes it is God’s will for them to marry, the couple should also trust God that He will provide for their needs.

As sad, strange, and unnecessary as the government laws regarding retirement benefits and marriage are, biblically there is no valid reason to try to circumvent the requirements of the law on this issue. There is absolutely nothing wrong with petitioning the government to get the laws changed, but it is unbiblical to disobey/avoid the governmental laws regarding retirement benefits and marriage. If an elderly couple truly and firmly believes it is God’s will for them to marry, they should do so, and trust that God will provide.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric & Leslie Ludy

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

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Double posting.

 

[Patriot]

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Double posting.

 

[Patriot]

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Double posting.

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?​

ANSWER

Sex was created to be a unique experience to bind husband and wife together in what the Bible calls a “one flesh” unity (Matthew 19:6). Since God invented sex, He gets to set the parameters for its use, and He makes those parameters very clear throughout Scripture (Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 6:18). Sex was designed for marriage. Period. Any sex outside those boundaries is sin. And despite what current culture wants us to believe, marital sex is between a man and a woman, not two men or two women. Simple biology makes it obvious that male and female bodies were designed to fit together in a way that same-sex physiology cannot. God knows what He is doing. So let’s investigate what the Bible has to say about marital sex.

First of all, marital sex is to be the consummation of a lifetime commitment made by two people. In ancient times and in several different cultures, wedding celebrations often included a “bedding ceremony,” in which the bride and groom retreated to the bedchamber to consummate their marriage. They would return to the party afterwards, and the celebration with friends and family would go on. The marriage was not considered complete until the bride and groom experienced sexual intimacy. While that may seem a bit crass according to our modern standards, it does illustrate the value that many cultures traditionally placed on virginity and marital sex.

Because the sexual drive is so powerful, the Bible encourages marriage in order to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1–2). Marital sex is to be mutual and frequent so that husband and wife are not tempted to commit adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5). The Bible gives detailed instructions about marriage, sexuality, and divorce in 1 Corinthians 7. The bodies of a husband and wife belong to each other. Verse 4 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.” This giving over of the body to the one we are committed to should eliminate any possibility of extramarital liaisons. When we understand that our bodies are not our own, that they’ve been pledged to a spouse, we can shut the door on any thoughts of loaning them to someone else.

Marriage was designed by God as a picture of the covenant relationship He wants with us (2 Corinthians 11:2). God places great importance on human sexuality because marital sex is the most intimate relationship two human beings can have. It is also a picture of the intimacy God created us to enjoy with Him. In marital sex, there is a giving over of the body, and in our spiritual relationship with God, we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1–2). The sexual act is a consummation of the covenant made between a man and a woman. Covenants were always consummated with the shedding of blood (Exodus 24:8), and, usually, blood is shed when virginity is lost. When God made His covenant with us, the blood of Christ was shed (Hebrews 13:20). Marital sex is more than a means of procreation and a safe outlet for our sexual drives. It is holy to God because it symbolizes the pure soul intimacy He wants to share with us. To engage in sex as a casual activity is to strip it of its true meaning.

Marital sex is the only sexual expression approved by our Creator. It should be treated as a sacred gift and enjoyed by husband and wife. We should guard our hearts and eyes from any outside temptations that try to sully or steal sexual intimacy. Pornography, extramarital affairs, divorce, and promiscuity all rob us of the beauty and value God wove into the sexual act. We cannot experience all God designed sexuality to be unless we save all sexual activities for marriage.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

Is it allowable for a Christian to have a life partner without a civil marriage?​

ANSWER

There are several things to consider in this question. First of all, let’s define “Christian.” Many people assume they are Christians simply because they are not affiliated with any other religion. They go to church and agree with most of what the Bible says. However, the Bible defines a Christian as a disciple, or follower, of the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 11:26). A Christian is someone who has accepted the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ as the payment for his or her own sin (John 1:12; Acts 16:31). A disciple of Christ has chosen to "deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow" Jesus (Luke 9:23). Therefore, whatever Jesus says to do through His Word, a Christian seeks to do. We do not become Christians by doing good things; but, because we are Christians, we want to obey Jesus in all things (Ephesians 2:8-9; James 2:26). In John 15:14, Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command you."

So a Christian makes life choices based on what glorifies Jesus (1 Corinthians 10:31). Better than asking whether a situation is "allowable" is asking "How will this honor my Lord?" God created marriage, and it is His definition we should use as our foundation. God defines marriage as a lifelong relationship in which a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife. The two become “one flesh,” and the union must not be dissolved by human will (Genesis 2:24; Mark 10:7-9; Ephesians 5:31). Malachi 2:14 tells us that one reason God hates divorce is that He is present when a couple takes the vows. Biblically, marriage is the joining of a man and a woman in a spiritual and physical covenant for life. That joining is cause for celebration and deserves our respect.

Some couples today, particularly among seniors, want to cohabit as “married” couples without being legally married. Often, this is done for some perceived financial benefit or for simplicity’s sake. Some of these couples undergo a religious ceremony in a church and consider themselves married before God. However, a couple seeking a "spiritual marriage" while avoiding a legal marriage is seeking to escape the requirements of the law, and that causes a new set of problems for the Christian (Romans 13:1-7). If a senior couple believes it is God’s will for them to be together, they should marry in accordance with the laws of the land, and trust God for the finances.

There is no scriptural basis for a live-in situation, even when the two involved intend to be monogamous for life. Intentions fail, and the lack of a real marriage commitment makes it easier to part ways. Without marriage, the relationship is sexually immoral and is condemned in Scripture (Galatians 5:19; Ephesians 5:3; 1 Thessalonians 4:2). The term "life partner" has a tentative sound and a questionable history. It implies that the relationship is not legally or morally sanctioned and that it may not last. It bypasses the covenant that God created marriage to be. For a Christian couple, such a term would cast immediate suspicion on their reputation and, ultimately on Christ’s reputation. Any Christian couple considering a “life partnership” should ask, “How will our bypassing of traditional marriage glorify the Lord Jesus?”

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

When God Writes Your Love Story: The Ultimate Guide to Guy/Girl Relationships by Eric & Leslie Ludy

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?​

ANSWER

Sex was created to be a unique experience to bind husband and wife together in what the Bible calls a “one flesh” unity (Matthew 19:6). Since God invented sex, He gets to set the parameters for its use, and He makes those parameters very clear throughout Scripture (Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 6:18). Sex was designed for marriage. Period. Any sex outside those boundaries is sin. And despite what current culture wants us to believe, marital sex is between a man and a woman, not two men or two women. Simple biology makes it obvious that male and female bodies were designed to fit together in a way that same-sex physiology cannot. God knows what He is doing. So let’s investigate what the Bible has to say about marital sex.

First of all, marital sex is to be the consummation of a lifetime commitment made by two people. In ancient times and in several different cultures, wedding celebrations often included a “bedding ceremony,” in which the bride and groom retreated to the bedchamber to consummate their marriage. They would return to the party afterwards, and the celebration with friends and family would go on. The marriage was not considered complete until the bride and groom experienced sexual intimacy. While that may seem a bit crass according to our modern standards, it does illustrate the value that many cultures traditionally placed on virginity and marital sex.

Because the sexual drive is so powerful, the Bible encourages marriage in order to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1–2). Marital sex is to be mutual and frequent so that husband and wife are not tempted to commit adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5). The Bible gives detailed instructions about marriage, sexuality, and divorce in 1 Corinthians 7. The bodies of a husband and wife belong to each other. Verse 4 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.” This giving over of the body to the one we are committed to should eliminate any possibility of extramarital liaisons. When we understand that our bodies are not our own, that they’ve been pledged to a spouse, we can shut the door on any thoughts of loaning them to someone else.

Marriage was designed by God as a picture of the covenant relationship He wants with us (2 Corinthians 11:2). God places great importance on human sexuality because marital sex is the most intimate relationship two human beings can have. It is also a picture of the intimacy God created us to enjoy with Him. In marital sex, there is a giving over of the body, and in our spiritual relationship with God, we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1–2). The sexual act is a consummation of the covenant made between a man and a woman. Covenants were always consummated with the shedding of blood (Exodus 24:8), and, usually, blood is shed when virginity is lost. When God made His covenant with us, the blood of Christ was shed (Hebrews 13:20). Marital sex is more than a means of procreation and a safe outlet for our sexual drives. It is holy to God because it symbolizes the pure soul intimacy He wants to share with us. To engage in sex as a casual activity is to strip it of its true meaning.

Marital sex is the only sexual expression approved by our Creator. It should be treated as a sacred gift and enjoyed by husband and wife. We should guard our hearts and eyes from any outside temptations that try to sully or steal sexual intimacy. Pornography, extramarital affairs, divorce, and promiscuity all rob us of the beauty and value God wove into the sexual act. We cannot experience all God designed sexuality to be unless we save all sexual activities for marriage.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

More insights from your Bible study - Get Started with Logos Bible Software for Free!

 

[Patriot]

How does one handle conflict in a marriage?​

ANSWER

Because of the fallen nature of man, marriage conflict is a fact of life, even for believers in Christ. Loving communication doesn’t come naturally or easily to anyone. For unbelievers, remedy for conflicts is difficult because without Christ humans do not have the capacity for unselfish love (Ephesians 4:22-32). Christians, however, have the Bible for instructions in relationships. Applying biblical principles to relationships will enable us to handle marriage conflict most effectively.

The first and most important principle in resolving conflict in relationships, especially in marriage, is to love one another as Christ has loved us (John 13:34) and gave Himself for us. Ephesians 5:21—6:4 describes relationships within families: we are to submit to one another in love and put the needs of others ahead of our own. This is especially true in marriage where the husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church and care for her as he cares for his own body. In turn, a wife is to submit to her husband and respect him (Ephesians 5:22–33).

This would seem to be a fairly simple directive except for the natural tendency of humans to be reactive in relationships, rather than proactive. Wives are usually eager to submit to husbands who love them as Christ loved the church, and husbands are usually more than willing to love wives who respect and submit to them. Therein lies the problem. Each is waiting for the other to make the first move. But God’s commands for husbands and wives are not conditional. Submission is not contingent upon love, and love is not contingent upon respect. Taking the first step in obedience, regardless of the actions of the other, goes a long way to breaking down the conflict and establishing new patterns of behavior.

With that in mind, when marriage conflict arises the first step is self-examination (2 Corinthians 13:5). After we have brought our concerns to the Lord and been honest with ourselves about our own failures or selfish desires, then we can approach others with our concerns. Furthermore, God designed believers to meet each other’s needs peacefully (Colossians 3:15). We all need grace for our own mistakes and we must have grace for others when communicating our needs and concerns (Colossians 4:6).

Communicating truth in love is the key to being heard because only when we communicate to others their value in our eyes will they be able to accept hard truths (Ephesians 4:15). People who feel attacked and criticized will only become defensive and at that point, communication inevitably breaks down. Conversely, people who feel we care about them and want good things for them will trust us to communicate with them in love and concern for their welfare. So speaking the truth in love is absolutely essential for conflict resolution. This is particularly true in marriage, where continuous close contact with a spouse who has disappointed us often brings out the worst in us. Hurt feelings produce harsh words which, in turn, produce more hurt feelings. Practicing the discipline of thinking carefully and praying before we speak can break this vicious cycle. Godly communication can be put in simple terms by remembering to treat others the way we want to be treated (Luke 6:31). God said blessed are the peacemakers, and that is always the goal for Christians (Matthew 5:9).

There are many aspects to relationships, conflict, and communication, and the Bible is full of wisdom for godly living. Here are specific scriptural commands of how we ought to treat one another:

To solve marriage conflict, we must:

Be at peace with one another - Mark 9:50
Love one another - John 13:34; Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 John 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11, 12
Build up one another - Romans 14:19; Ephesians 4:12; 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Be of the same mind toward one another - Romans 12:16
Give preference to one another - Romans 12:10
Greet one another - Romans 16:16
Esteem others as better than yourself - Philippians 2:3
Serve one another - Galatians 5:13
Receive one another - Romans 15:7
Be devoted to one another - Romans 12:10
Rejoice or weep with one another - Romans 12:15
Admonish one another - Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16
Care for one another - 1 Corinthians 12:25
Show tolerance toward one another - Romans 15:1-5; Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13
Be kind and forgiving to one another - Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13
Submit to one another - Romans 12:10; Ephesians 5:21; 1 Peter 5:5
Comfort one another - 1 Thessalonians 4:18
Encourage one another - 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13
Be compassionate with one another - 1 Peter 3:8
Pray for one another - James 5:16
Confess your faults to one another - James 5:16
Accept one another - Romans 14:1; 15:7

To solve marriage conflict, we must not:

Be proud against each other - 1 Corinthians 4:6
Judge one another - Romans 12:16
Lie to one another - Colossians 3:9
Be partial with one another - 1 Timothy 5:21
Provoke or envy one another - Galatians 5:26
Lust after one another - Romans 1:27
Hate one another - Titus 3:3
Take one another to court - 1 Corinthians 6:1-7
Use each other - Galatians 5:15

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

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[Patriot]

What does the Bible say about sex in marriage?​

ANSWER

Sex was created to be a unique experience to bind husband and wife together in what the Bible calls a “one flesh” unity (Matthew 19:6). Since God invented sex, He gets to set the parameters for its use, and He makes those parameters very clear throughout Scripture (Hebrews 13:4; 1 Corinthians 6:18). Sex was designed for marriage. Period. Any sex outside those boundaries is sin. And despite what current culture wants us to believe, marital sex is between a man and a woman, not two men or two women. Simple biology makes it obvious that male and female bodies were designed to fit together in a way that same-sex physiology cannot. God knows what He is doing. So let’s investigate what the Bible has to say about marital sex.

First of all, marital sex is to be the consummation of a lifetime commitment made by two people. In ancient times and in several different cultures, wedding celebrations often included a “bedding ceremony,” in which the bride and groom retreated to the bedchamber to consummate their marriage. They would return to the party afterwards, and the celebration with friends and family would go on. The marriage was not considered complete until the bride and groom experienced sexual intimacy. While that may seem a bit crass according to our modern standards, it does illustrate the value that many cultures traditionally placed on virginity and marital sex.

Because the sexual drive is so powerful, the Bible encourages marriage in order to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 7:1–2). Marital sex is to be mutual and frequent so that husband and wife are not tempted to commit adultery (1 Corinthians 7:5). The Bible gives detailed instructions about marriage, sexuality, and divorce in 1 Corinthians 7. The bodies of a husband and wife belong to each other. Verse 4 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife.” This giving over of the body to the one we are committed to should eliminate any possibility of extramarital liaisons. When we understand that our bodies are not our own, that they’ve been pledged to a spouse, we can shut the door on any thoughts of loaning them to someone else.

Marriage was designed by God as a picture of the covenant relationship He wants with us (2 Corinthians 11:2). God places great importance on human sexuality because marital sex is the most intimate relationship two human beings can have. It is also a picture of the intimacy God created us to enjoy with Him. In marital sex, there is a giving over of the body, and in our spiritual relationship with God, we are to present our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1–2). The sexual act is a consummation of the covenant made between a man and a woman. Covenants were always consummated with the shedding of blood (Exodus 24:8), and, usually, blood is shed when virginity is lost. When God made His covenant with us, the blood of Christ was shed (Hebrews 13:20). Marital sex is more than a means of procreation and a safe outlet for our sexual drives. It is holy to God because it symbolizes the pure soul intimacy He wants to share with us. To engage in sex as a casual activity is to strip it of its true meaning.

Marital sex is the only sexual expression approved by our Creator. It should be treated as a sacred gift and enjoyed by husband and wife. We should guard our hearts and eyes from any outside temptations that try to sully or steal sexual intimacy. Pornography, extramarital affairs, divorce, and promiscuity all rob us of the beauty and value God wove into the sexual act. We cannot experience all God designed sexuality to be unless we save all sexual activities for marriage.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye

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[Patriot]

How can I prepare myself for marriage?​

ANSWER

Preparing oneself for marriage biblically is the same as preparing for any life endeavor. There is a principle that should govern all aspects of our lives as born-again believers: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). This is not a flippant command. It is the centerpiece of our lives as believers. It is choosing to focus upon God and upon His Word with our whole heart so that our soul and our mind are occupied with the things that will please Him.

The relationship we have with God through the Lord Jesus Christ is what puts all other relationships into perspective. The marriage relationship is based upon the model of Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:22-33). Every aspect of our lives is governed by our commitment as believers to live according to the commandments and precepts of the Lord. Our obedience to God and to His Word equips us to fulfill our God-given roles in marriage and in the world. And the role of every born-again believer is to glorify God in all things (1 Corinthians 10:31).

In order to prepare yourself for marriage, to walk worthy of your calling in Christ Jesus, and to become intimate with God through His Word (2 Timothy 3:16-17), focus upon obedience in all things. There is no easy plan to learn to walk in obedience to God. It is a choice we must make every day to put aside worldly viewpoints and follow God instead. Walking worthy of Christ is to submit ourselves in humility to the only Way, the only Truth and the only Life on a day-by-day, moment-by-moment basis. That is the preparation every believer needs to be ready for the great gift we call marriage.

A person who is spiritually mature and walking with God is more prepared for marriage than anyone else. Marriage demands commitment, passion, humility, love, and respect. These traits are most evident in a person who has an intimate relationship with God. As you prepare yourself for marriage, focus on allowing God to shape you and mold you into the man or woman He wants you to be (Romans 12:1-2). If you submit yourself to Him, He will enable you to be ready for marriage when that wonderful day arrives.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Preparing for Marriage: Discover God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love by Dennis Rainey

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[Patriot]

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[Patriot]

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[Patriot]

What is a levirate marriage?​

ANSWER

A levirate marriage is literally a “marriage with a brother-in-law.” The word levirate, which has nothing to do with the tribe of Levi, comes from the Latin word levir, “a husband’s brother.” In ancient times, if a man died without a child, it was common for the man’s unmarried brother to marry the widow in order to provide an heir for the deceased. A widow would marry a brother-in-law, and the first son produced in that union was considered the legal descendant of her dead husband.

We see a couple of examples in the Bible of levirate marriage. The first is the story of Tamar and Onan in Genesis 38. Tamar had been married to Er, a son of Judah. Er died, leaving Tamar childless (Genesis 38:6–7). Judah’s solution was to follow the standard procedure of levirate marriage: he told Er’s brother Onan, “Sleep with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for your brother” (verse 8). Onan was more than willing to sleep with Tamar, but, unfortunately, he had no desire to have a child with her: “Onan knew that the child would not be his; so whenever he slept with his brother’s wife, he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from providing offspring for his brother” (verse 9). In other words, Onan was taking selfish advantage of levirate marriage. He wanted sex with his sister-in-law, but he purposefully avoided impregnating her. God called Onan’s actions “wicked” and killed him (verse 10).

Levirate marriage became part of the Law in Deuteronomy 25:5–6. There, the Israelites are commanded to care for women whose husbands died before they had children. An unmarried brother of the deceased man bore a responsibility to marry his sister-in-law: God called it “the duty of a brother-in-law” (Deuteronomy 25:5). God’s purpose for levirate marriage is stated: “The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel” (verse 6). In ancient Israel the passing on of the family name and the inheritance within a tribe were vitally important (see Numbers 36:7 and 1 Kings 21:3).

Another example of levirate marriage in the Bible is the story of Ruth and Boaz. Ruth’s first husband died without leaving a child (Ruth 1:1–5). Later, Ruth met a rich landowner named Boaz in Bethlehem, and he happened to be a relative of Ruth’s late husband (Ruth 2:20). Ruth asked Boaz to be her “kinsman-redeemer”; that is, to marry her and preserve the land her husband had owned (Ruth 3:9). Boaz agreed but informed Ruth that there was one other relative of nearer kin; the obligation to marry Ruth and redeem her land fell on him first (verse 12). As it turned out, the nearer relative officially transferred his right of redemption to Boaz, clearing the way for Boaz to marry Ruth and “maintain the name of the dead with his property” (Ruth 4:5).

In Matthew 22, Jesus is confronted by the Sadducees with a convoluted question based on the Law’s requirement of levirate marriage: “Moses told us that if a man dies without having children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for him. Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?” (Matthew 22:24–28). Jesus cuts through the hypothetical and teaches the reality of the resurrection (verses 29–32).

Levirate marriage has fallen out of favor in modern Judaism and is more or less an extinct practice today. But its existence among the ancient Israelites, even before the Law of Moses, shows the importance placed on continuing the family line and preserving one’s divinely appointed inheritance.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Deuteronomy, Holman Old Testament Commentary by Doug McIntosh

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[Patriot]

Why should I get married?​

ANSWER

Many cultures in the world today are losing the understanding of what marriage was designed to be. We live in a world that says we should get what we want any way we can get it. Marriage is sometimes seen as confinement that may hamper our ability to have what we want when we want it. Marriage today is sometimes mocked as an archaic institution that has lost its relevance. Yet marriage is just as valid and to be honored today as it ever was (Hebrews 13:4).

The first marriage occurred when God created Adam and Eve, joined them in covenant, and they became one flesh. The idea of "one flesh" implies an unbreakable seal meant to last a lifetime. When Jesus was asked about divorce, He answered, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.... So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:5-6). Notice that it is God who joins a man and woman in marriage. In Malachi 2:14, God reminds us that He was "a witness between you and the wife of your youth." God designed marriage as one man and one woman for a lifetime, and any deviation from that plan is a distortion of His intent (Matthew 19:8; Romans 1:26-27). God takes marriage very seriously.

God, not man, created marriage and defined it in Eden (Genesis 2:24). When God created the first man in His own image (Genesis 1:27; 2:7), He gave that man everything he needed to be content. Yet, God said, "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). So God created a woman from Adam’s side and brought her to him. He created a woman from the man’s own body and brought her to the man (Genesis 2:21–22). Both man and woman were created in God’s image, and marriage is the means by which male and female are most intimately connected. Together, in a lifelong covenant relationship, they reflect a vibrant picture of God’s character, unity, and fellowship.

Notice that God intentionally provided a woman who would be different from Adam but also well suited to him. When God made Eve, Adam was no longer alone and could work with Eve to fulfill God’s purposes and design for marriage. In intimate companionship, a husband and wife live out the ways of God, love one another, and spur one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24) uniquely different from other relationships.

God also created male and female bodies and souls to complement each other in such a way that they physically become “one flesh” in marriage (Genesis 2:24). In a committed, loving, lifelong relationship, a man and woman are able to love one another practically as well as physically. Sexual intercourse is an exclusive gift between husband and wife meant to selflessly unite the married couple in pleasure, delight, oneness, and protection. Hebrews 13:4 talks about the importance of honoring the sexual relationship of a married couple: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” God designed sex to be enjoyed only within the boundaries of marriage. Engaging in sexual activity with someone other than one’s own spouse is sin and leads to heartache and disaster (Proverbs 6:26-29; 1 Corinthians 6:18).

The sexual union was designed, in part, to bring forth children (Genesis 1:28) and produce godly offspring who bear God’s name and reflect His image (Genesis 1:26–28; 2:22–24; Malachi 2:15). Human reproduction was God’s first stated mandate for the united Adam and Eve. Marriage, God’s first and most fundamental institution, is designed to be the foundation for the family unit. In a stable home, children can be raised in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). By following God’s design for the family and the roles of each member, a family can grow and thrive (1 Corinthians 7:2-5, 10-16; Ephesians 5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-21).

Throughout the Bible, God uses marriage as a metaphor for His relationship with His people (Hosea 2:19–20). In the Old Testament, God used imagery related to marriage to explain His love and commitment toward Israel. When the nation of Israel rebelled against Him, God expressed the sorrow and jealousy of a man who has a cheating wife. “Like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you, Israel, have been unfaithful to me,” the Lord says in Jeremiah 3:20. In the New Testament, marriage is used as an illustration of Christ and His relationship with His Bride, the Church. Paul writes, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him” (2 Corinthians 11:2; cf. Ephesians 5:31–32). God’s design for marriage is that it be an unbreakable covenant such as God has made with His people.

So why should anyone get married?

1. Commitment and covenant — God created marriage to be an unbreakable covenant. In this lifelong commitment there is safety in knowing that no matter what comes your way—sickness or health, poverty or riches, disaster or celebration—your spouse is there for you, committed to loving you, and seeking your best.

2. Companionship and support — God said it was not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). Marriage creates built-in companionship and committed support for all of life’s ups and downs. You are seen and loved for who you are. Encouragement, a different perspective, a listening ear, etc., also help sharpen you into the man or woman God has made you to be (Proverbs 27:17). Husband and wife can run the race of life with endurance (Hebrews 12:1), on mission together.

3. Stable families — Families are the building blocks of society, and families begin with a husband and wife. God brought man and woman together in marriage in part to produce godly children (Genesis 1:26–28; 2:22–24; Malachi 2:15). Stable families give children the stability to thrive. Stable families create stable societies.

4. Intimacy — Marriages are meant to thrive in safety and security, being naked and unashamed (Genesis 2:25). This applies not just sexually but spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Intimacy in a healthy, godly marriage grows stronger with time.

5. Christlikeness — Marriage is a unique setting of two becoming one. In this committed, loving, and intimate relationship, men and women can allow their sin to be exposed and can experience a loving environment where they can grow in Christlikeness.

6. Christ and the Church — Marriage represents Christ and His relationship to the Church (Ephesians 5:22-32). A godly marriage is a powerful evangelistic tool to reach the world.

While marriage is a gift that God intentionally designed with specific purposes, there is no command in Scripture that everyone must be married. In fact, the apostle Paul favored singleness as a way to devote more time to serving God (1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 32-35). There are some who do not feel the need to be married and some who end up not finding a suitable spouse, and there is nothing wrong with that. Single people reflect and bear God’s image and can have fulfilling lives as well. They can find emotional support through friends, family, and ministry opportunities. However, our society has begun to equate singleness with sexual immorality, and that is very wrong. Paul’s promotion of singleness was so a person could devote his or her full attention to the things of Christ. Singleness should never be used as an excuse to live in sexual sin. But if a single person can control his or her passions and live a morally pure life, there is no need to feel pressured to marry (1 Corinthians 7:37). God can be glorified whether we are married or not married.

For those who do marry, marriage is still equally valid and to be honored as it was back in the Garden of Eden. As Paul urges all believers to live, may the husband and wife “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:2-3). As we follow God’s design and purposes, may our marriages reflect the character, love, and unity of God.

FOR FURTHER STUDY​

Preparing for Marriage: Discover God’s Plan for a Lifetime of Love by Dennis Rainey

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