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One day an insurance salesman knocked on a door. A little boy
answered the door and the gentleman asked if his mother was home.
The little boy said "No, she is at the whore house."
The bright salesman asked if she was a prostitute, and the little
boy replied, "No, she is a substitute. She only works Wednesdays
and Fridays during the rush."
The salesman said, "Well I'll be a son-of-a-bitch."
The little boy said, "Well, I'm one too, but I don't go around
knocking on doors telling folks."
Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar.
The first one says my pussy is so big, I can screw three
guys at the same time.
The second prostitute says, MY pussy is so big, I can
screw a guy's leg up to the knee.
The third one just slides down the stool...
Three hookers are comparing notes about their customers from the
night before.
"I entertained a cowboy last night", says the first.
"How did you know he was a cowboy?", asks the second.
"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both the hat
and the boots on all the time we were together."
"Sounds like a cowboy, all right." the others say.
"I entertained a lawyer," announces the second. "I could tell
because he wore a three piece suit and packed a briefcase.
He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the briefcase all
the time."
They agree he sounded like a lawyer.
"I had a dirt farmer for a client," comments the third.
"How could you possibly know he was a dirt farmer?" she is asked.
"First he complained it was too dry, then he whined it was too wet,
then he asked if he could pay me in the fall."
A man walks into this whore house to get a woman but doesn't know
what he wants. The woman at the counter tells the man to go outside
to where this fence is and in this fence are some holes. She instructs
him to stick his dick into each of the holes and then to make a choice.
He sticks his dick into the first hole and he gets his dick sucked.
He sticks his dick into the second hole and he gets jerked off.
He sticks his dick into the third hole and he feels it slip into some
chicks pussy. After he finishes he walks back inside to the woman at
the counter.
She asks him what woman he wants.
The man says, "Forget the women. I want 30 yards of that fence."
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the
other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month,
I'm going to lose my fucking ass."
Then he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away.
Immediately, he apologised for his bad language.
"That's okay," she said, "If I don't sell more ass this month,
I'm going to lose my fucking car."
A guy walks into a brothel and tells the madam he wants six girls
for the evening. The next morning the madam informs the gentleman
that there will be no charge. Very happy, he leaves.
A few days later he returns, and again tell the madam that he would
like six girls for the evening. In the morning the madam presents him
with a bill for 1,000. Confused the man asks, "I don't understand, on
Tuesday it was free."
"That's right," replies the madam, "but on Tuesdays we're on the
internet."
A former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been
somewhat stretched is given a proposal of marriage by a man she meets
in a bar one night. She thinks it over, and she decides to accept
his proposal.
Her private parts are somewhat oversized from her former occupation,
but she decides to approach the problem after they are married.
On their wedding night, she explains the problem by saying that when
she was a small child, she got her privates caught on some barbed wire
while climbing over a fence, which explains why her vagina is so big.
They make wild and passionate love for most of the night, and in the
early hours of the morning, her husband, after regaining his breath,
turns to her and says, "I can understand your private parts being
stretched by this barbed wire, my dear, but just HOW far across the
field were you before you noticed??"
A man is walking down the street and is really horny. He goes to the
first brothel he sees but only has five dollars, so they kick him out.
The man goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars,
he gets kicked out again.
So by this time, he's really super horny, so he goes to the next one
and says, "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny, and I need
a blow-job for 5 dollars!"
The madam there says, "For five dollars, all we can give you a penguin."
"What's a penguin?"
"You'll see."
So, the madam takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom.
He unzips his pants, and waits for his "penguin."
Soon, a prostitute comes in and starts giving the man a blow job. Just
as he's about to let loose, she stops and walks away.
The horny man waddles after her, with his pants at his ankles, shouting,
"HEY! WHAT'S A PENGUIN?!"
A guy's walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he
runs into a hooker.
He says, "How much?"
She says "Twenty bucks." He says, "All right."
They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her.
The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under
the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she
blasts two incredible farts.
When they get done, he hands her twenty-five dollars.
She says, "What's the extra five?"
He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."
I like the one about "blowing the sand off my balls."
answered the door and the gentleman asked if his mother was home.
The little boy said "No, she is at the whore house."
The bright salesman asked if she was a prostitute, and the little
boy replied, "No, she is a substitute. She only works Wednesdays
and Fridays during the rush."
The salesman said, "Well I'll be a son-of-a-bitch."
The little boy said, "Well, I'm one too, but I don't go around
knocking on doors telling folks."
Three prostitutes are sitting in a bar.
The first one says my pussy is so big, I can screw three
guys at the same time.
The second prostitute says, MY pussy is so big, I can
screw a guy's leg up to the knee.
The third one just slides down the stool...
Three hookers are comparing notes about their customers from the
night before.
"I entertained a cowboy last night", says the first.
"How did you know he was a cowboy?", asks the second.
"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both the hat
and the boots on all the time we were together."
"Sounds like a cowboy, all right." the others say.
"I entertained a lawyer," announces the second. "I could tell
because he wore a three piece suit and packed a briefcase.
He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the briefcase all
the time."
They agree he sounded like a lawyer.
"I had a dirt farmer for a client," comments the third.
"How could you possibly know he was a dirt farmer?" she is asked.
"First he complained it was too dry, then he whined it was too wet,
then he asked if he could pay me in the fall."
A man walks into this whore house to get a woman but doesn't know
what he wants. The woman at the counter tells the man to go outside
to where this fence is and in this fence are some holes. She instructs
him to stick his dick into each of the holes and then to make a choice.
He sticks his dick into the first hole and he gets his dick sucked.
He sticks his dick into the second hole and he gets jerked off.
He sticks his dick into the third hole and he feels it slip into some
chicks pussy. After he finishes he walks back inside to the woman at
the counter.
She asks him what woman he wants.
The man says, "Forget the women. I want 30 yards of that fence."
Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the
other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month,
I'm going to lose my fucking ass."
Then he noticed a beautiful blonde sitting two stools away.
Immediately, he apologised for his bad language.
"That's okay," she said, "If I don't sell more ass this month,
I'm going to lose my fucking car."
A guy walks into a brothel and tells the madam he wants six girls
for the evening. The next morning the madam informs the gentleman
that there will be no charge. Very happy, he leaves.
A few days later he returns, and again tell the madam that he would
like six girls for the evening. In the morning the madam presents him
with a bill for 1,000. Confused the man asks, "I don't understand, on
Tuesday it was free."
"That's right," replies the madam, "but on Tuesdays we're on the
internet."
A former prostitute with a rather well-used vagina that has been
somewhat stretched is given a proposal of marriage by a man she meets
in a bar one night. She thinks it over, and she decides to accept
his proposal.
Her private parts are somewhat oversized from her former occupation,
but she decides to approach the problem after they are married.
On their wedding night, she explains the problem by saying that when
she was a small child, she got her privates caught on some barbed wire
while climbing over a fence, which explains why her vagina is so big.
They make wild and passionate love for most of the night, and in the
early hours of the morning, her husband, after regaining his breath,
turns to her and says, "I can understand your private parts being
stretched by this barbed wire, my dear, but just HOW far across the
field were you before you noticed??"
A man is walking down the street and is really horny. He goes to the
first brothel he sees but only has five dollars, so they kick him out.
The man goes to the next one. But, since he only has five dollars,
he gets kicked out again.
So by this time, he's really super horny, so he goes to the next one
and says, "Look, I only have five dollars. I'm really horny, and I need
a blow-job for 5 dollars!"
The madam there says, "For five dollars, all we can give you a penguin."
"What's a penguin?"
"You'll see."
So, the madam takes the $5 and leads the horny man to a bedroom.
He unzips his pants, and waits for his "penguin."
Soon, a prostitute comes in and starts giving the man a blow job. Just
as he's about to let loose, she stops and walks away.
The horny man waddles after her, with his pants at his ankles, shouting,
"HEY! WHAT'S A PENGUIN?!"
A guy's walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City and he
runs into a hooker.
He says, "How much?"
She says "Twenty bucks." He says, "All right."
They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her.
The next night, he runs into the same hooker, they go under
the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she
blasts two incredible farts.
When they get done, he hands her twenty-five dollars.
She says, "What's the extra five?"
He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."
I like the one about "blowing the sand off my balls."
