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Sun, Oct 07, 2012
The Star/Asia News Network
I’M 22 years old and have been going steady with my girlfriend for more than three years now. We are in the same university.
I am frustrated with the way our relationship has been going for the past year. My girlfriend complains that I am not romantic and loving, and do not treat her well. She says she can’t dump me since we’ve been together for most of our university life and she can’t find another boyfriend from the same university as she will be graduating soon.
I admit that our relationship is getting dull. The problem started when I switched course as I found it difficult to cope with my earlier course. Now, we are in the same course. However, this course has more female students than male students, and my girlfriend has laid down some rules for me. I am not allowed to befriend any girl in my course, or talk to them unless it concerns something urgent. She knows I have a history of flirting with girls. After we became an item, I stopped flirting.
During the first semester of the new course, I kept my promise. My girlfriend allowed me to befriend the female coursemates on Facebook but not in person. Once, she caught me looking at the profile of a pretty and attractive coursemate. We had a fight over this and she blocked the account of that coursemate and others whom she considered pretty and attractive.
At the start of the second semester, she tightened the rules as she was away on an internship. I was unhappy, but I abided by her rules. However, at some point, I opened a Facebook account without my girlfriend’s knowledge, and started adding the girls whom she had blocked in my earlier account. Then I found myself logging on to this account daily to get updates on the girls. What’s worse, I have been downloading the photos of the girls and masturbating as I imagine myself having sex with them. I don’t know what drives me to do this. Is it lust or do I have a mental problem?
This went on for a year before my girlfriend found the photos in my computer and questioned me. I told her the whole truth. She was heartbroken and talked about ending our relationship. However, after a few days, she decided to continue our relationship.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: Either I extend my study term so that I would not be in the same class with the same girls anymore, or we break up. Should we break up, she would tell the whole world about my dirty secret.
I am in a dilemma. I cannot extend my study term anymore because I’ve already switched course and am two years behind my batch of contemporaries. But my girlfriend threatened that if I don’t do it, she would break up with me and tell all my friends – especially the girls whose photos are in my computer – that I’ve been cheating on her all these years, and indulging in disgusting acts.
If this happens, I will lose my friends and everyone will think I’m a pervert. I really love my girlfriend very much but I do not know how to handle this problem. Please help.
Desperate Boyfriend
The Star/Asia News Network
I’M 22 years old and have been going steady with my girlfriend for more than three years now. We are in the same university.
I am frustrated with the way our relationship has been going for the past year. My girlfriend complains that I am not romantic and loving, and do not treat her well. She says she can’t dump me since we’ve been together for most of our university life and she can’t find another boyfriend from the same university as she will be graduating soon.
I admit that our relationship is getting dull. The problem started when I switched course as I found it difficult to cope with my earlier course. Now, we are in the same course. However, this course has more female students than male students, and my girlfriend has laid down some rules for me. I am not allowed to befriend any girl in my course, or talk to them unless it concerns something urgent. She knows I have a history of flirting with girls. After we became an item, I stopped flirting.
During the first semester of the new course, I kept my promise. My girlfriend allowed me to befriend the female coursemates on Facebook but not in person. Once, she caught me looking at the profile of a pretty and attractive coursemate. We had a fight over this and she blocked the account of that coursemate and others whom she considered pretty and attractive.
At the start of the second semester, she tightened the rules as she was away on an internship. I was unhappy, but I abided by her rules. However, at some point, I opened a Facebook account without my girlfriend’s knowledge, and started adding the girls whom she had blocked in my earlier account. Then I found myself logging on to this account daily to get updates on the girls. What’s worse, I have been downloading the photos of the girls and masturbating as I imagine myself having sex with them. I don’t know what drives me to do this. Is it lust or do I have a mental problem?
This went on for a year before my girlfriend found the photos in my computer and questioned me. I told her the whole truth. She was heartbroken and talked about ending our relationship. However, after a few days, she decided to continue our relationship.
My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: Either I extend my study term so that I would not be in the same class with the same girls anymore, or we break up. Should we break up, she would tell the whole world about my dirty secret.
I am in a dilemma. I cannot extend my study term anymore because I’ve already switched course and am two years behind my batch of contemporaries. But my girlfriend threatened that if I don’t do it, she would break up with me and tell all my friends – especially the girls whose photos are in my computer – that I’ve been cheating on her all these years, and indulging in disgusting acts.
If this happens, I will lose my friends and everyone will think I’m a pervert. I really love my girlfriend very much but I do not know how to handle this problem. Please help.
Desperate Boyfriend
