Toxic family environment at home/Having suicidal thoughts

[Whitehole]

When I was little, my brother would hit me until my face bleed. My father would do nothing about this. He reasoned that he had no control over this because my older brother mental condition and he always had his right of way. That continued until secondary school. I decided to cut off all communication with him.

Family gathering wasn't at a thing in my household. There was no visiting during Chinese New Year despite having many relatives (or maybe they just hate my family). Financially my father did no better. There wasn't not cash to go around and he would consistently blame our relative for his failed business. The family environment was toxics. Daily arguments over money and my older brother. Broken plates and glassware was a constant sight in the household. There was no positivity within the family. I thought it would get better when I entered university. But no, I was dead wrong.

I am currently in my second year in NTU and I am funding my know tuition fee and my own personal expenditure by tutoring. Recently, my dad wanted me to quit school and support the family financially because he was unable to pay his expenditure (house, bills, grocery.) and to help out pay for my brother private university fee (the one that beat me).

I feel used. I feel tired. I see no purpose to continue anymore. And life is going to get tougher. I am already at the breaking point.

 

[zhihau]

Please call

1800 221 4444

 

[UltimaOnline]

You're legally an adult. As such, you can legally cut off all ties with your family, if that's what's necessary for you to continue to live on.

 

[AhMeng]

Life continues whether you have money or no money. Remember to love yourself.

 

[virus]

your family life in a mess only becos all of you did not stop in a moment to reflect n discuss on how to move on. you keep moving on, knowing problem existed and persisted. but did nothing except to bear grudges against each other.

if you can, take a job for now, study on part time basis n move on.

but discuss this option

 

[Ralders]

Whitehole u in ntu meaning u have a bright future.I only primary school.
First u have to no matter how to finish your tertiary education.
Have talk with your family n let them know what you are thinking.
Break down your problems one by one.

Lastly are u in anyway related to blackhole.

 

[musashi]

Please call

1800 221 4444

In my opinion, even better is to go to the:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meet-the-People_Sessions
every week! Or at least every two or three weeks until the MP solves at least a significant part of the problem.
That is the only way the MP (and his/her "volunteers" at the sessions) will take anyone seriously, especially if the case involves family violence and/or serious financial problems.

 

[rushifa666]

This is female? Come to me i show you how to make money

 

[zhihau]

That is the only way the MP (and his/her "volunteers" at the sessions) will take anyone seriously, especially if the case involves family violence and/or serious financial problems.

MPs at the MPS should rightfully solve municipal issues. For mediation issues, there's Singapore Mediation Centre.

For family problems... 家家有本难念的经。。。

 

[rushifa666]

If all fails just sign on with uniform groups. Make your own money fuck all of them

 

[eatshitndie]

time to tell your family to go eat shit and die. you're free to walk away. don't need to go home. many cheap room rentals out there.

 

[Kopi0Kosong]

When I was ...
I am currently in my second year in NTU and I am funding my know tuition fee and my own personal expenditure by tutoring. Recently, my dad wanted me to quit school and support the family financially because he was unable to pay his expenditure (house, bills, grocery.) and to help out pay for my brother private university fee (the one that beat me).
I feel used. I feel tired. I see no purpose to continue anymore. And life is going to get tougher. I am already at the breaking point.

As you have made it to university, it would be a waste if you were to stop your studies because of 'hardship'. Focus on the 'financial hardship to pursue your higher education' rather than 'differences among family members'. There is no harm in seeking help from your constituency MP, especially when it's pertaining to education. A caring and competent MP should be able to assist without much issue, if your case is genuine. Surface your problem [having to leave the course] to your lecturer and/or Dean. There are financial study bursaries from well-wishers and organisations, especially the foundations. In a worse case scenario, seek a one-year deferment for your degree course. If intention is to break off ties and stay away, although this needs very serious thinking and re-consideration, then consider staying at a university hostel.
Life is transient. Remember there are many solutions to a problem, and a problem is not a problem when there is a solution. There are many others out there in different parts of Singapore with problems worse than yours.

Food for Thought:

Resent not your family members. Resent those who created problems for the family?
Aggressive behaviour - read up to understand people better.

 

[glockman]

When I was little, my brother would hit me until my face bleed. My father would do nothing about this. He reasoned that he had no control over this because my older brother mental condition and he always had his right of way. That continued until secondary school. I decided to cut off all communication with him.

Family gathering wasn't at a thing in my household. There was no visiting during Chinese New Year despite having many relatives (or maybe they just hate my family). Financially my father did no better. There wasn't not cash to go around and he would consistently blame our relative for his failed business. The family environment was toxics. Daily arguments over money and my older brother. Broken plates and glassware was a constant sight in the household. There was no positivity within the family. I thought it would get better when I entered university. But no, I was dead wrong.

I am currently in my second year in NTU and I am funding my know tuition fee and my own personal expenditure by tutoring. Recently, my dad wanted me to quit school and support the family financially because he was unable to pay his expenditure (house, bills, grocery.) and to help out pay for my brother private university fee (the one that beat me).

I feel used. I feel tired. I see no purpose to continue anymore. And life is going to get tougher. I am already at the breaking point.

Bro, you are not a victim you are a survivor. You are capable, motivated and resourceful. The perfect family is ideal but often it's not so. Most families are dysfunctional in their unique way. A fuck up son, an arsehole parent, a useless daughter, a cheating parent, etc etc. Once we know the root of the problem, we can take steps to deal with it. I noticed you did not mention your mother, or other siblings. If you have them and love them, they will be affected if you choose to abundant the family. So the best option is to seek financial assistance with the government or a religious organisation if you are a member of one.

Stay on and seek financial help, or get away from your mad brother and useless father, will depend on how the ones you love will be affected.

 

[knowwhatyouwantinlife]

For the time being please move out from the toxic environment to heal

 

[sweetiepie]

KNN you need to first figure out if there is still a turning point to stay with the toxic environment and how much family ties means to you. If is negative then next you need to focus and plan for finding a shelter for yourself and start life anew and just assume as you are a orphan KNN

 

[red amoeba]

You are right to come here. Though not aunt agony Uncle Sam website has many of your kind. The ramblings and writings reflect their mental state. Many of which are a breath away from a stay at kampong Sayang.

 

[bobby]

Very easy analysis.....

Your older brother is PAP. You are the 30%...and your father the 70%.

 

[Hypocrite-The]

This story is a bit tall,,,,younger brother ask to sacrifice for older brother and these parents are just trailer park trash. Anyway if its true, than all the more breeding licences should be implemented and enforced to prevent the unworthy from breeding. Only selfish ppl breed when they themselves have issues and want to bring their kids to a worse place than them,

 

[kulgai]

When I was little, my brother would hit me until my face bleed. My father would do nothing about this. He reasoned that he had no control over this because my older brother mental condition and he always had his right of way. That continued until secondary school. I decided to cut off all communication with him.

Family gathering wasn't at a thing in my household. There was no visiting during Chinese New Year despite having many relatives (or maybe they just hate my family). Financially my father did no better. There wasn't not cash to go around and he would consistently blame our relative for his failed business. The family environment was toxics. Daily arguments over money and my older brother. Broken plates and glassware was a constant sight in the household. There was no positivity within the family. I thought it would get better when I entered university. But no, I was dead wrong.

I am currently in my second year in NTU and I am funding my know tuition fee and my own personal expenditure by tutoring. Recently, my dad wanted me to quit school and support the family financially because he was unable to pay his expenditure (house, bills, grocery.) and to help out pay for my brother private university fee (the one that beat me).

I feel used. I feel tired. I see no purpose to continue anymore. And life is going to get tougher. I am already at the breaking point.

Tell yr dad how much the university course means to you and do tell him about yr suicidal thoughts. If he doesn't respond positively perhaps you need counseling to help you cope with the situation. If it's at all possible, moving out might be an option but will be a huge financial strain on you. Any of your trusted friends can help you out, with your lodging perhaps?

 

[Boliao]

You're legally an adult. As such, you can legally cut off all ties with your family, if that's what's necessary for you to continue to live on.

Listen to this advice please.