• IP addresses are NOT logged in this forum so there's no point asking. Please note that this forum is full of homophobes, racists, lunatics, schizophrenics & absolute nut jobs with a smattering of geniuses, Chinese chauvinists, Moderate Muslims and last but not least a couple of "know-it-alls" constantly sprouting their dubious wisdom. If you believe that content generated by unsavory characters might cause you offense PLEASE LEAVE NOW! Sammyboy Admin and Staff are not responsible for your hurt feelings should you choose to read any of the content here.

    The OTHER forum is HERE so please stop asking.

They throw parents out over money

metalslug

Alfrescian
Loyal
Predictable moves by the PAP scums...

http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,210865,00.html?

They throw parents out over money
As PM urges S'poreans to take care of parents, counsellors say more children are leaving parents to homes and charities
By Liew Hanqing

August 19, 2009

NP_IMAGES_HQOLD-IZ6.jpg

ABANDONED: Counsellors say they see more elderly living alone or left to charities or homees by their families. ST FILE PICTURE

THE things he has seen make him sigh.

Like the children who forced their mother to sell her flat and then distributed the money among themselves. When she fell sick, not one child was willing to pay her medical bills.

Stories like this upset Mr Lee Bock Guan, 64, president of the Singapore Buddhist Lodge.

He told The New Paper that up to three elderly people - usually in their 60s and 70s - seek help from the lodge each month because they can no longer rely on their children.

He said in Mandarin: 'Some of these old people are forced out of their homes because of disagreements with their children.

'They sometimes argue because their children try to convert them to a different religion, and they refuse.'

Some, he said, cannot get along with their children's spouses.

'The younger people may complain about some of their habits, and sometimes even go to the extent of threatening divorce - so the elderly folks have no choice but to leave,' he said.

Estranged from their children, these old people are often at their wits' end, Mr Lee said.

'These days, children can be really heartless. I know of a woman whose eight children forced her to sell her flat so they could take the money,' he said.

'She fell sick and was hospitalised, but none of her children was willing to pay her bills.'

Others, he said, leave their parents at nursing homes - and sometimes lapse in settling the bills for their parents' stay.

'I think the problem is that young people nowadays are becoming more money-minded,' he said.

In his National Day Rally speech on Sunday, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong urged Singaporeans not to shirk their responsibility of caring for their aged parents.

He said some Singaporeans were doing just that - by abandoning their parents in homes or hospitals.

This problem is likely to worsen as Singapore's population greys even more.

The numbers are sobering - according to statistics from the National Population Secretariat, the proportion of Singapore residents aged 65 and above increased from 6.8 per cent in 1998 to 8.7 per cent last year.

Mr Gerard Ee, chairman of Council for Third Age, an independent body which promotes active ageing, said it was increasingly common for children to abandon their aged parents.

He said there was a need for 'ground rules' to keep those who do not bear the responsibility of caring for their parents in check.

He said: 'At the end of the day, it is a matter of doing one's part for the community. Those who can afford it should care for their own parents.

'If they don't, it is the rest of society that must bear the cost. That cannot be right.

'It is a different matter if somebody has fallen into hard times and cannot afford to care for their parents. In that case, they should receive help.'

Hectic schedules

Mr Alwyn Chia, communications manager of Lions Befrienders Service Association (LBSA), a VWO for the elderly, said some working adults just don't have time, with hectic work schedules and family commitments.

'In addition, more and more adults are working or venturing overseas,' he said.

As a result, Mr Chia said that of late, LBSA has seen more cases of elderly people who are left to fend for themselves.

Just giving money isn't enough, he said. What is sorely lacking is social and psycho-emotional support.

'These elderly folk are left to live alone and have to perform the activities of daily living by themselves. Their children do visit them but these visits are not frequent,' he said.

LBSA Volunteers visit these elderly people every week and keep the organisation updated on their well-being.

'In the event that the elderly folk require other forms of assistance - such as home meal delivery services, laundry, housekeeping and medical escort services - we will refer them to other relevant agencies,' Mr Chia said.

He said younger Singaporeans need to spend more time with their parents - especially if they are not living together, and should be more active in community-based support systems such as befriending elderly people in their homes.

Assistant Professor Joonmo Son from the National University of Singapore's department of Sociology said this lack of responsibility may relegate the elderly to a state of severe poverty.

He said: 'We are living in a world where traditional values, such as Confucian obligation to old parents, are fading away while the individualistic world view prevails.'

The labour market, he said, now operates the 'family wage system', which supports only the nuclear family of the employed individuals.

'People are not equipped with the material means and ideological legacy to support their elderly parents,' he said.

He added it is necessary to make it clear at the institutional level whose responsibility it should be to take care of the elderly population - whether economically, socially, or psychologically.
 

metalslug

Alfrescian
Loyal
http://tnp.sg/news/story/0,4136,210866,00.html?

SOMETIMES, ITS NOT SO SIMPLE
Son visits once a year, but dad understands
August 19, 2009

NP_IMAGES_HQOLD-XII.jpg

ONLY COMPANION: MR Hassan listens to his radio to while away his time. TNP PICTURE: GAVIN FOO

ONE visit and $20 for pocket money a year - that's all he gets from his 25-year-old son.

Mr Mahmood Hassan Shaik Jan Bux, 59, accepts it.

He said in a mixture of English and Malay yesterday: 'What to do? My son is working and he's busy. He cannot visit me often.

'I call him almost every day just to talk, but he always says that he's not free. If he's busy, then I don't want to disturb him.'

Mr Hassan's son, Mr Muhd Razali, confirmed his father's story when contacted yesterday.

The construction worker said he could only visit his father once a year during Hari Raya because 'he's not free'.

Mr Razali said that he works almost every day, including some Sundays.

'When I'm not working on Sundays, I don't visit him because I'm tired and I want to stay at home,' he said.

But their relationship is more complicated than that of a father with a seemingly uncaring son.

Mr Razali, an only child who's single, has lived with his mother in Bedok since his parents divorced about 20 years ago.

Asked if he gives his father any pocket money, he replied: 'He never asked me for it.

'Anyway, I'm not close to him because I've been away from him since I was 4. I've got my mother and that's more than enough.'

When The New Paper visited Mr Hassan at his one-room flat in Redhill Close yesterday, there was a distinct musty smell in the air, although the windows in the flat were open.

The flat is sparsely-furnished, with two single beds, a two-door wardrobe and some shelves around the living room area. A prayer mat was on the floor next to Mr Hassan's bed.

Mr Hassan, who used to work as an office assistant, shares the unit with another room-mate.

Poor fare

There is no washing machine, rice cooker, stove or oven in his small kitchen, only an electric kettle to boil water to make coffee.

The only food items in the kitchen were a packet of sugar and sachets of three-in-one coffee mixes.

Mr Hassan told The New Paper that he eats bread and drinks coffee when he gets hungry.

Occasionally, he would go to his neighbour's flat in the opposite block for lunch.

At home, he usually spends his time reciting prayers, listening to the radio or sleeping.

'I ask God for my family to be happy and for them to have a long life. Sometimes, I also ask for a better life and better house,' he said.

An old radio is his trusty companion as its tunes lull him to sleep.

Mr Hassan survives on $350 monthly. He says $100 is from Islamic Religious Council of Singapore but is not sure where the other $250 comes from.

He gives $70 to his room-mate who settles the rent and utilities bill and spends about $150 of the remaining $280 on cigarettes.

Whatever is left is used to top up his ez-link card and handphone's prepaid card and to buy necessities such as detergent and three-in-one coffee mixes.

He admitted that he feels bored at home sometimes but is thankful that he at least has a shelter over his head.

'As long as I have a house, I won't feel sad,' he said.

With the fasting month starting on Saturday, Mr Hassan hopes his son will break fast with him at home, but adds that his son has never done this before.

When his son visits him during Hari Raya every year, he would give his father goodies such as pineapple tarts, dates and the $20, Mr Hassan said.

'I asked him for new clothes before, but he told me that he didn't have the time to buy it,' Mr Hassan added with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Mr Hassan wouldn't say if he was a good father and declined to elaborate on reasons for the divorce, except to say it was personal.

But he said he doesn't blame his son for not visiting him more often.

Ervina Mohamed Jamil, newsroom intern
 

scoobyhoo

Alfrescian
Loyal
only idiots will raise children. feed a dog and it'll shake its tail to you. or this is the problem of our education. not adequate education on this respect?
 

kulgai

Alfrescian
Loyal
I think it's better sometime to transfer your parents in old age houses, as they are provided with all such facilities out there which they really need at their stage of life to live comfortably. Some elder homes also providing 24/7 nursing facility with complete privacy.

Do u know old age homes are costly? The very reason parents are abandoned is because the children are not willing or do not have the means to care for them. I agree that many children dont have the time to care for their aged parents. The government should do more to help by heavily subsidising old age homes so that more people can afford it. After all, these oldies contributed to society when they were young and it's only right to be taken care of by society when they are old.
 

Kinana

Alfrescian
Loyal
Do u know old age homes are costly? The very reason parents are abandoned is because the children are not willing or do not have the means to care for them. I agree that many children dont have the time to care for their aged parents. The government should do more to help by heavily subsidising old age homes so that more people can afford it. After all, these oldies contributed to society when they were young and it's only right to be taken care of by society when they are old.

You want others to take care of your mom and not have to pay for it?
The people will ultimately be paying for it with higher taxes. You fellas are already complaining about the low taxes we are paying, how to increase tax some more bro?
BTW we are already drawing on reserves to fund welfare bro. So unless you
are agreeable to at least tripple your income tax, don't blame govt.
 

ray_of_hope

Alfrescian
Loyal
Do u know old age homes are costly? The very reason parents are abandoned is because the children are not willing or do not have the means to care for them. I agree that many children dont have the time to care for their aged parents. The government should do more to help by heavily subsidising old age homes so that more people can afford it. After all, these oldies contributed to society when they were young and it's only right to be taken care of by society when they are old.

How much is the monthly cost? $2k?
 

SingaporeNINJA

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
I think it's better sometime to transfer your parents in old age houses, as they are provided with all such facilities out there which they really need at their stage of life to live comfortably. Some elder homes also providing 24/7 nursing facility with complete privacy.

It's not cheap to enroll into an old folks home or elder care, you know?
 

Cestbon

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
The only person to blame is them self. Bring up useless children and never teach them. More such case will happen because parent spoil them. When parent old cannot give them money anymore that the end.
 

SingaporeNINJA

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
I see. I would not mind paying $3k for myself, to check myself in one day, so that I am not an inconvenience to my kids. I just need my trusty laptop to preoccupy myself.

Not a wise thing to do. You tend to catch all those strange diseases in the ward and you go hungry most of the time with the food served there.
 

soIsee

Alfrescian
Loyal
How much is the monthly cost? $2k?

It's just S$2k plus and I'm sure split among the children the bill would be easily taken care of.

It's not the bill size, the children of Sinkie breed nowadays just want to cut off ALL responsibilies from their parents including chores that they a cut of their own time..

I've seen it coming. It's the entire fault of the PAP creating such a society.
 

Boliao

Alfrescian
Loyal

You want others to take care of your mom and not have to pay for it?
The people will ultimately be paying for it with higher taxes. You fellas are already complaining about the low taxes we are paying, how to increase tax some more bro?
BTW we are already drawing on reserves to fund welfare bro. So unless you
are agreeable to at least tripple your income tax, don't blame govt.

The billions we lost overseas or even the $400 million we overspent on YOG could have built and been used to offer FREE old age homes for years. Stop this "you need to pay higher tax" nonsense!
 
Last edited:

Boliao

Alfrescian
Loyal
There are always two sides to a story. Listening to the one side and saying the children are heartless or that they throw their parents out is simply irresponsible and unfair to the children.
 

Cestbon

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
It's just S$2k plus and I'm sure split among the children the bill would be easily taken care of.

It's not the bill size, the children of Sinkie breed nowadays just want to cut off ALL responsibilies from their parents including chores that they a cut of their own time..

I've seen it coming. It's the entire fault of the PAP creating such a society.

Talk easy than do. Some children will afford some cannot afford. Then there will be fighting who should bear more.
Best is save the money and dont give a single cent to children until up coffin.

After up coffin those useless greedy dont give them single cent. Donate his/her portion to charity.
 

cockie

Alfrescian
Loyal
Raising of children is the responsibility of the parents, if born and raise children because you want them to take care of you when you are old. Than dont give birth to your children and make yourself their burden when you are old.
We should be responsible for our old age, work hard and have enough money to keep ourselves alive during old age.....
 

watchman8

Alfrescian
Loyal
There are always two sides to a story. Listening to the one side and saying the children are heartless or that they throw their parents out is simply irresponsible and unfair to the children.
I have seen cases where the old folks sell their hdb flats, then gamble the money away, or got cheated by china Meimei. When everything is gone, they go crying to mp and everyone, say their children force them to sell house, all the money given to children etc. no proof whatsoever, and usually people just point finger at the children.

There are also cases where the parent abandon the children at young age, then after several decades came back demanding cash or embarrassment. People usually take pity on the old liars, without finding out the truth.

Of course there will be the useless and unfilial children stories too. But we may never know the true statistics.
 

Loofydralb

Alfrescian
Loyal
Looking for excuses and reasons to dumpbyour folks huh?

Tell you what.....make it easier for you. Build up yiur callousness by. Bevfeeling guilty. Try it.
scolding , spitting, kick[ng them daily. Then youll not
I think it's better sometime to transfer your parents in old age houses, as they are provided with all such facilities out there which they really need at their stage of life to live comfortably. Some elder homes also providing 24/7 nursing facility with complete privacy.
 

kulgai

Alfrescian
Loyal

You want others to take care of your mom and not have to pay for it?
The people will ultimately be paying for it with higher taxes. You fellas are already complaining about the low taxes we are paying, how to increase tax some more bro?
BTW we are already drawing on reserves to fund welfare bro. So unless you
are agreeable to at least tripple your income tax, don't blame govt.

Are u stupid or not? When did I say I wanted others to take care of my mum? BTW I can well afford it. I'm speaking for those children who are themselves struggling to make ends meet. How do U expect them to cough out couple thousands each month? This is where the govt should exercise compassion as is the case in all 1st world countries.
 
Top