The RAPE Scheme

[Lee5604]

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your local Member of Parliament who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Sincerely,
The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

 

[looneytan]

where is Ah Leong?

 

[Cestbon]

PAP want people to work until die!
This very different U turn again???

 

[scroobal]

Dear Sir

Your commitee is wrong. The Government of Singapore has over 2 decades made it abundantly clear that our replacement birth rate has not been met. Under our "Future Useful Community Keep" also known as The F.U.C.K programme we cannot look after older Singaporeans who are living longer with a small workforce.

Singaporeans must ask themselves if they want to live a quality life in a serene setting, excellent embience, clean environment with job tenure or do they want live longer and medically looked after. Obviously the latter - people want to live longer.

The reality is that a jobless man, with no quality of life, no dignity, living in a polluted environment, with no sense of belonging is much better than someone with a decent job, high self esteem living in paradise but dies early.

 

[lianbeng]

lianbeng noted more elderlies going to kana RAPED liao.