The lesser mortal’s guide to meeting your PAP MP without ending up in jail

[Queen Seok Duk]

This is funny ...from TR.

The lesser mortal’s guide to meeting your PAP MP without ending up in jail
June 14th, 2010 | Author: Your Correspondent
OPINION

Since a 52 year old relief cabby was charged in court two weeks ago for offending his ”higher mortal” holier-than-thou and whiter-than-white PAP MP Lee Yi-Shyan during his Meet-the-People session at Bedok, we have received a deluge of letters from concerned readers expressing their worries and fears that they may end up in the same predicament if they have an unfortunate slip of tongue when meeting their PAP MPs.

For the welfare of our readers, we have compiled a simple guide for you to follow if you need to meet your PAP MP at his/her Meet-the-People sessions in the future.

1. Prepare yourself mentally: Have ZERO expectations

Before you meet your PAP MP, you should prepare yourself mentally that whatever request you asked for is unlikely to be granted. Contrary to popular belief, your PAP MP is not there to “serve” you at all. He/she is only the “Tua Pek Kong” of your constituency. In other words, he/she is just there for the purpose of formality only and is NOT obliged to help you in anything. Do not expect any help from your PAP MP. You are just there to try your luck, get it?

2. Jot down your requests on a piece of paper

Please do not overwhelm your PAP MP with endless questions, complaints and requests for assistance. Jot them down in point form one by one so that you will know exactly what to say when you meet him/her. Please spare some thought for your poor PAP MP who still have to meet countless lesser mortals like you after a long day work. He/she is probably too tired to remember the details of your complaints, so keep whatever you have to say short and sweet.

3. Bring along your NRIC and a book:

Registration for most Meet-the-People sessions begin at 7pm. Please remember to bring your NRIC for registration and any other relevant documents. Your PAP MP will usually arrive only one to two hours later and so bring along a book or newspaper to spend the time there when waiting. Patience is not a virtue of many Singaporeans, but please bear in mind that you are there because you are in need of your PAP MP’s help and not the other way round.

4. Do not expect to meet your PAP MP

Do not be surprised or angry if your PAP MP is not on duty or he/she is unable to make it for the session in the last minute and is replaced by a senior grassroots leader. If you die-die have to meet the MP, then return another day or otherwise you can reflect your concerns to the grassroots leader. After all, the typing of the letters and liaison with other government agencies are usually done by the grassroots leaders. All the PAP MP does it to sign his/her name on the paper.

5. Basic etiquette when you meet the MP

Do not kowtow to your ultra-sensitive PAP MP in case he/she thinks you are up to something funny. On entering the room, give a deep bow and greet him/her before taking your seat.

Try to avoid eye contact when in front of the MP. Some people have a fierce gaze and the MP may mistake that as a sign of intimidation.

Your PAP MP may sound curt, rude or even downright callous in his/her tone. Regardless of what he/she says, you should nod your head in agreement and not respond.

The session will usually end in a few minutes and you should stand up and bow to your MP again before taking your leave.

Remember: don’t open your mouth unless it is really necessary or your MP may misinterpret your intention and feel threatened.

Lastly, please keep in mind (print it out if you have to) the three PAP mantras before you decide to jeopardize your livelihood by meeting your PAP MP:

 

[manokie]

This is funny ...from TR.

The lesser mortal’s guide to meeting your PAP MP without ending up in jail
June 14th, 2010 | Author: Your Correspondent
OPINION

Since a 52 year old relief cabby was charged in court two weeks ago for offending his ”higher mortal” holier-than-thou and whiter-than-white PAP MP Lee Yi-Shyan during his Meet-the-People session at Bedok, we have received a deluge of letters from concerned readers expressing their worries and fears that they may end up in the same predicament if they have an unfortunate slip of tongue when meeting their PAP MPs.

For the welfare of our readers, we have compiled a simple guide for you to follow if you need to meet your PAP MP at his/her Meet-the-People sessions in the future.

1. Prepare yourself mentally: Have ZERO expectations

Before you meet your PAP MP, you should prepare yourself mentally that whatever request you asked for is unlikely to be granted. Contrary to popular belief, your PAP MP is not there to “serve” you at all. He/she is only the “Tua Pek Kong” of your constituency. In other words, he/she is just there for the purpose of formality only and is NOT obliged to help you in anything. Do not expect any help from your PAP MP. You are just there to try your luck, get it?

2. Jot down your requests on a piece of paper

Please do not overwhelm your PAP MP with endless questions, complaints and requests for assistance. Jot them down in point form one by one so that you will know exactly what to say when you meet him/her. Please spare some thought for your poor PAP MP who still have to meet countless lesser mortals like you after a long day work. He/she is probably too tired to remember the details of your complaints, so keep whatever you have to say short and sweet.

3. Bring along your NRIC and a book:

Registration for most Meet-the-People sessions begin at 7pm. Please remember to bring your NRIC for registration and any other relevant documents. Your PAP MP will usually arrive only one to two hours later and so bring along a book or newspaper to spend the time there when waiting. Patience is not a virtue of many Singaporeans, but please bear in mind that you are there because you are in need of your PAP MP’s help and not the other way round.

4. Do not expect to meet your PAP MP

Do not be surprised or angry if your PAP MP is not on duty or he/she is unable to make it for the session in the last minute and is replaced by a senior grassroots leader. If you die-die have to meet the MP, then return another day or otherwise you can reflect your concerns to the grassroots leader. After all, the typing of the letters and liaison with other government agencies are usually done by the grassroots leaders. All the PAP MP does it to sign his/her name on the paper.

5. Basic etiquette when you meet the MP

Do not kowtow to your ultra-sensitive PAP MP in case he/she thinks you are up to something funny. On entering the room, give a deep bow and greet him/her before taking your seat.

Try to avoid eye contact when in front of the MP. Some people have a fierce gaze and the MP may mistake that as a sign of intimidation.

Your PAP MP may sound curt, rude or even downright callous in his/her tone. Regardless of what he/she says, you should nod your head in agreement and not respond.

The session will usually end in a few minutes and you should stand up and bow to your MP again before taking your leave.

Remember: don’t open your mouth unless it is really necessary or your MP may misinterpret your intention and feel threatened.

Lastly, please keep in mind (print it out if you have to) the three PAP mantras before you decide to jeopardize your livelihood by meeting your PAP MP:

9:
Start all your sentences with: MP, I vote for PAP every four year since 1965 and....

10:
Bring a figure of LKY and ask the MP to kneel with you infront of the figurine.
This will make the MP less smug

 

[moolightaffairs]

wow! this TR thing sound like some work from the production team of The Noose! very sarcastic and funny.

 

[ruffles]

seng han thong is a banned word that can land you in jail

 

[streetsmart73]

This is funny ...from TR.

The lesser mortal’s guide to meeting your PAP MP without ending up in jail
June 14th, 2010 | Author: Your Correspondent
OPINION

Since a 52 year old relief cabby was charged in court two weeks ago for offending his ”higher mortal” holier-than-thou and whiter-than-white PAP MP Lee Yi-Shyan during his Meet-the-People session at Bedok, we have received a deluge of letters from concerned readers expressing their worries and fears that they may end up in the same predicament if they have an unfortunate slip of tongue when meeting their PAP MPs.

For the welfare of our readers, we have compiled a simple guide for you to follow if you need to meet your PAP MP at his/her Meet-the-People sessions in the future.

1. Prepare yourself mentally: Have ZERO expectations

Before you meet your PAP MP, you should prepare yourself mentally that whatever request you asked for is unlikely to be granted. Contrary to popular belief, your PAP MP is not there to “serve” you at all. He/she is only the “Tua Pek Kong” of your constituency. In other words, he/she is just there for the purpose of formality only and is NOT obliged to help you in anything. Do not expect any help from your PAP MP. You are just there to try your luck, get it?

2. Jot down your requests on a piece of paper

Please do not overwhelm your PAP MP with endless questions, complaints and requests for assistance. Jot them down in point form one by one so that you will know exactly what to say when you meet him/her. Please spare some thought for your poor PAP MP who still have to meet countless lesser mortals like you after a long day work. He/she is probably too tired to remember the details of your complaints, so keep whatever you have to say short and sweet.

3. Bring along your NRIC and a book:

Registration for most Meet-the-People sessions begin at 7pm. Please remember to bring your NRIC for registration and any other relevant documents. Your PAP MP will usually arrive only one to two hours later and so bring along a book or newspaper to spend the time there when waiting. Patience is not a virtue of many Singaporeans, but please bear in mind that you are there because you are in need of your PAP MP’s help and not the other way round.

4. Do not expect to meet your PAP MP

Do not be surprised or angry if your PAP MP is not on duty or he/she is unable to make it for the session in the last minute and is replaced by a senior grassroots leader. If you die-die have to meet the MP, then return another day or otherwise you can reflect your concerns to the grassroots leader. After all, the typing of the letters and liaison with other government agencies are usually done by the grassroots leaders. All the PAP MP does it to sign his/her name on the paper.

5. Basic etiquette when you meet the MP

Do not kowtow to your ultra-sensitive PAP MP in case he/she thinks you are up to something funny. On entering the room, give a deep bow and greet him/her before taking your seat.

Try to avoid eye contact when in front of the MP. Some people have a fierce gaze and the MP may mistake that as a sign of intimidation.

Your PAP MP may sound curt, rude or even downright callous in his/her tone. Regardless of what he/she says, you should nod your head in agreement and not respond.

The session will usually end in a few minutes and you should stand up and bow to your MP again before taking your leave.

Remember: don’t open your mouth unless it is really necessary or your MP may misinterpret your intention and feel threatened.

Lastly, please keep in mind (print it out if you have to) the three PAP mantras before you decide to jeopardize your livelihood by meeting your PAP MP:[/QUOT



hi there


1. an excellent piece of advice for all sheep concerned.
2. to add one more onto the must-do list, "bring 3 big joss-sticks and pray to the ultimate sheep for guidance" infront of the higher authority, showing total obedience and respect mah!

 

[wikiphile]

Bring offerings of Oranges/Apples and Huat Kue, if it falls on the 1st and 15th of the Lunar Month on your meet-the-mp session, remember to bring fresh flowers of Lotus and Chrysantemums

It is also advisable to bring 4 x offerings of coconut juice if you realised that your MP is more than just a two faced being hence 2 more coconuts.

Hell notes are advisable but not compulsory unless you have important requests and if so, roast chicken and roast pork would be appropriate too as further signs of sincerity

 

[Microsoft]

Anyone who 1 2 meet de MP mus be blindfold and handcuff... MP mus be shuffle so u dun noe which 1 u meet... lidat 1 2 burn oso dunno who 2 burn...

 

[commoner]

Bring offerings of Oranges/Apples and Huat Kue, if it falls on the 1st and 15th of the Lunar Month on your meet-the-mp session, remember to bring fresh flowers of Lotus and Chrysantemums

It is also advisable to bring 4 x offerings of coconut juice if you realised that your MP is more than just a two faced being hence 2 more coconuts.

Hell notes are advisable but not compulsory unless you have important requests and if so, roast chicken and roast pork would be appropriate too as further signs of sincerity

this one guarantee go to jail one, no need to go court, straight to the max security jail then IMH

 

[myfoot123]

Don't threaten not to vote for your MP, he very sensitive one because he thought his presence is by default, whether you like it or not, and he will forever be your higher mortal at his disposal - you die your business.

 

[Watchman]

Anyone who 1 2 meet de MP mus be blindfold and handcuff... MP mus be shuffle so u dun noe which 1 u meet... lidat 1 2 burn oso dunno who 2 burn...

wah shuffle .

 

[sleaguepunter]

a bit strange leh, how come got ppl threaten PAP MPs yet nothing from Opposition MPs. Wont ppl from PP & HG more dulan from services from "less capable" opposition than from scholar PAP MPs?

 

[halsey02]

Anyone who 1 2 meet de MP mus be blindfold and handcuff... MP mus be shuffle so u dun noe which 1 u meet... lidat 1 2 burn oso dunno who 2 burn...

The MP will be behind a clear flexiglass, or even better behind a confessional booth found in the Roman Catholic Churches.

You will ask to empty your pockets & all all your orifices will be checked for hidden arms..including the two ears.

 

[kingrant]

All liquids must be put in 1 litre bags. No nail clippers, no penknives, no paper cutters, no staplers, no laser pointers, no hole punchers (except those in the MP's office) to be brought into the room where the meeting is going to be held. All cellphones and electronic devices incl iPhones, etc. to be surrendered outside the CC. Shoes are to be removed before entering in case you light it up as an explosive device. Put yr feet in plastic bags so you don't kill him with yr smelly feet. Shower and use deodorant generously and please change out of those pyjamas into something fresh, if possible new. Remove your cap/hat/toupe so you can be well recognised.

Anyone who 1 2 meet de MP mus be blindfold and handcuff... MP mus be shuffle so u dun noe which 1 u meet... lidat 1 2 burn oso dunno who 2 burn...

 

[Queen Seok Duk]

All liquids must be put in 1 litre bags. No nail clippers, no penknives, no paper cutters, no staplers, no laser pointers, no hole punchers (except those in the MP's office) to be brought into the room where the meeting is going to be held. All cellphones and electronic devices incl iPhones, etc. to be surrendered outside the CC. Shoes are to be removed before entering in case you light it up as an explosive device. Put yr feet in plastic bags so you don't kill him with yr smelly feet. Shower and use deodorant generously and please change out of those pyjamas into something fresh, if possible new. Remove your cap/hat/toupe so you can be well recognised.

I think you're going to be awarded a Medal this coming August for your excellent suggestion.

 

[kingrant]

Thank you for your very kind remarks. Up my points leh!

I think you're going to be awarded a Medal this coming August for your excellent suggestion.

 

[halsey02]

All liquids must be put in 1 litre bags. No nail clippers, no penknives, no paper cutters, no staplers, no laser pointers, no hole punchers (except those in the MP's office) to be brought into the room where the meeting is going to be held. All cellphones and electronic devices incl iPhones, etc. to be surrendered outside the CC. Shoes are to be removed before entering in case you light it up as an explosive device. Put yr feet in plastic bags so you don't kill him with yr smelly feet. Shower and use deodorant generously and please change out of those pyjamas into something fresh, if possible new. Remove your cap/hat/toupe so you can be well recognised.

Bring along 4 photo copies of your NRIC & 4 passport size plus one 30cm by 25cm of your photograph..so that, when you threathen them & run away...they will have your ID out everywhere in a pronto...

Remember your People's Affordable Party , member of parliament, whom you have vote/never had a chance to vote/came in by default, is a greater god than all the gods you whorship...be respectful.

 

[kingrant]

And don't forget to volunteer to patrol yr CC's chain-linked fences and report any gaping holes, cut wires, and signs of trespassing. Do however pick up any loose litter along the way - you don't want yr MP to look foolish in the next TCMR!

Bring along 4 photo copies of your NRIC & 4 passport size plus one 30cm by 25cm of your photograph..so that, when they threathen & run away...they will have your ID out everywhere in a pronto...

Remember your People's Affordable Party , member of parliament, whom you have vote/never had a chance to vote/came in by default, is a great god than all the gods you whorship...be respectful.

 

[krafty]

I do not know if you guys notice? Sometime ago, in the newspaper, the minister can insinuate comments like "stupid",particularly the "law keling kia". When the poor cabby trying to help his own mum,got into trouble cos' of insinuation is being accused of threatening.

I conclude that when PAP say that you are wrong means that you are wrong!:oIo:

 

[radon39]

I do not know if you guys notice? Sometime ago, in the newspaper, the minister can insinuate comments like "stupid",particularly the "law keling kia". When the poor cabby trying to help his own mum,got into trouble cos' of insinuation is being accused of threatening.

I conclude that when PAP say that you are wrong means that you are wrong!:oIo:

In life here there are 2 ways of doing things

'The Wrong way and Their way'

 

[streetsmart73]

Bring offerings of Oranges/Apples and Huat Kue, if it falls on the 1st and 15th of the Lunar Month on your meet-the-mp session, remember to bring fresh flowers of Lotus and Chrysantemums

It is also advisable to bring 4 x offerings of coconut juice if you realised that your MP is more than just a two faced being hence 2 more coconuts.

Hell notes are advisable but not compulsory unless you have important requests and if so, roast chicken and roast pork would be appropriate too as further signs of sincerity

hi there

1. hahaha.
2. aiyoh! more like a 7th mth hungry ghost festival prayer leh!