[Sg] - Singaporean Chinese man wants to marry his Malay girlfriend but doesn't want to convert to Islam

[UltimaOnline]

[–]_MirrorMask_ 150 points 7 hours ago
I am Catholic and got married to my husband who is Muslim via ROM (i.e civil marriage). The complication depends on how religious the Muslim’s family are. Other than that is the legal complications such as inheritance and such. Other things like raising children will depend on the couple. At this day and age, there isn’t much problems about being shunned by the public and such.
My advise though is that the couple must really sit down and have a serious talk regarding on how much they are willing to compromise. You can DM me if you have more questions. Always willing to listen to others who struggle with Inter-faith relationships.


[–]_MirrorMask_ 78 points 4 hours ago
There’s no issues on my side as my family is quite open-minded.
My husband’s side was the issue. They kept forcing me to convert hence why we tried out the conversion course at Arqam. Things went downhill fast when we told them we have decided to go through civil marriage even after taking the course. His mom even threatened my life (I wasn’t there but my husband told me and luckily also recorded the conversations). We then used the recordings as evidence then sent a Cease and Desist letter to his mom through a lawyer. Ended up settling the matter by his family agreeing not to contact me anymore. He still goes to visit them and sleep over at his parents once a week. Still very rocky on their end and toxic whenever he comes over. It puts a lot of stress on him but he said we made the right decision because at the end of the day, his parents shouldn’t get to dictate how we live our lives.


[–]basilyeoShocker cyborg 68 points 7 hours ago
Hi, 33m here and my mom is Muslim and my dad is Taoist. They got married in 1987 via civil marriage. What I’ve learnt is that there is no compulsion, but teachings and family practices may differ. Ultimately it depends on whether the Muslim side of the family is able to accept a member of their family marrying outside the religion. My late maternal grandfather (bless his soul) did not forbid it.
I’m Taoist by birth certificate (probably just hospital staff “following father”) but I don’t practise the rites or follow much of it, only participate in ancestral prayers during CNY. I’ve been curious about Christianity (I went to a Christian boys’ school) and Islam, in my late teens and early 20s, but I eventually decided any form of religion is not for me. Never ever been pressured by either of my parents to follow their specific religions either.
For additional context, my mom doesn’t really practice either, the most Muslim thing I’ve ever seen her do is puasa during Ramadan.


[–]wwabbbitt 63 points 7 hours ago
Religion on birth certificate is the stupidest thing ever. Why should people be compelled to a particular religion at birth instead of making their own choices after having grown up and be in a position to make a decision on what religion they want to follow?


[–]basilyeoShocker cyborg 6 points 5 hours ago
Totally right on the money


[–]CloudDevelic 1 point 4 hours ago
This should be enforced as a strict law, under freedom of religious beliefs. I see this as the true rights to freedom of speech and beliefs honestly, and should be guarded and protected as so.


MiloPengAlsoCan 11 points 7 hours ago

If you’re asking for secular rules, then what many have said here should suffice.
If you’re asking about Islamic law on marriages: - a Muslim man can marry a Muslim, Christian, or Jew (what’s also termed People of the Book) woman, the woman does not need to convert to Islam - a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man
While registering your marriage is a secular solution, from an Islamic perspective, the marriage is not valid if you do not convert, based on the above. She would be living in (major) sin from the time of marriage. Any child born during this marriage, again from an Islamic perspective, is considered a child out of wedlock. When you pass, she can’t inherit from you (from an Islamic perspective, and this is not just applicable to such a union). There’s probably only rules as well but these are the top of mind.
To go into this deeper would require a much longer post which takes us off topic, since you’re only looking for the rules.

 

[LordElrond]

Does he know he has to chop?

 

[Cottonmouth]

Get his Minah to denounce her terrorist religion and eat pork!

 

[laksaboy]

Why not be a gentleman, fuck her and let another honest Malay chap marry her?

 

[countryman]

The best combo in a family is having a Muslim mom, Taoist Dad, Christian son n Catholic daughter....

 

[laksaboy]

How about converting to be a Jew? Let's see how the Muslim family handles it.

 

[Qantas]

[–]_MirrorMask_ 150 points 7 hours ago
I am Catholic and got married to my husband who is Muslim via ROM (i.e civil marriage). The complication depends on how religious the Muslim’s family are. Other than that is the legal complications such as inheritance and such. Other things like raising children will depend on the couple. At this day and age, there isn’t much problems about being shunned by the public and such.
My advise though is that the couple must really sit down and have a serious talk regarding on how much they are willing to compromise. You can DM me if you have more questions. Always willing to listen to others who struggle with Inter-faith relationships.


[–]_MirrorMask_ 78 points 4 hours ago
There’s no issues on my side as my family is quite open-minded.
My husband’s side was the issue. They kept forcing me to convert hence why we tried out the conversion course at Arqam. Things went downhill fast when we told them we have decided to go through civil marriage even after taking the course. His mom even threatened my life (I wasn’t there but my husband told me and luckily also recorded the conversations). We then used the recordings as evidence then sent a Cease and Desist letter to his mom through a lawyer. Ended up settling the matter by his family agreeing not to contact me anymore. He still goes to visit them and sleep over at his parents once a week. Still very rocky on their end and toxic whenever he comes over. It puts a lot of stress on him but he said we made the right decision because at the end of the day, his parents shouldn’t get to dictate how we live our lives.


[–]basilyeoShocker cyborg 68 points 7 hours ago
Hi, 33m here and my mom is Muslim and my dad is Taoist. They got married in 1987 via civil marriage. What I’ve learnt is that there is no compulsion, but teachings and family practices may differ. Ultimately it depends on whether the Muslim side of the family is able to accept a member of their family marrying outside the religion. My late maternal grandfather (bless his soul) did not forbid it.
I’m Taoist by birth certificate (probably just hospital staff “following father”) but I don’t practise the rites or follow much of it, only participate in ancestral prayers during CNY. I’ve been curious about Christianity (I went to a Christian boys’ school) and Islam, in my late teens and early 20s, but I eventually decided any form of religion is not for me. Never ever been pressured by either of my parents to follow their specific religions either.
For additional context, my mom doesn’t really practice either, the most Muslim thing I’ve ever seen her do is puasa during Ramadan.


[–]wwabbbitt 63 points 7 hours ago
Religion on birth certificate is the stupidest thing ever. Why should people be compelled to a particular religion at birth instead of making their own choices after having grown up and be in a position to make a decision on what religion they want to follow?


[–]basilyeoShocker cyborg 6 points 5 hours ago
Totally right on the money


[–]CloudDevelic 1 point 4 hours ago
This should be enforced as a strict law, under freedom of religious beliefs. I see this as the true rights to freedom of speech and beliefs honestly, and should be guarded and protected as so.


MiloPengAlsoCan 11 points 7 hours ago

If you’re asking for secular rules, then what many have said here should suffice.
If you’re asking about Islamic law on marriages: - a Muslim man can marry a Muslim, Christian, or Jew (what’s also termed People of the Book) woman, the woman does not need to convert to Islam - a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man
While registering your marriage is a secular solution, from an Islamic perspective, the marriage is not valid if you do not convert, based on the above. She would be living in (major) sin from the time of marriage. Any child born during this marriage, again from an Islamic perspective, is considered a child out of wedlock. When you pass, she can’t inherit from you (from an Islamic perspective, and this is not just applicable to such a union). There’s probably only rules as well but these are the top of mind.
To go into this deeper would require a much longer post which takes us off topic, since you’re only looking for the rules.

Whats the big deal? Society is so open nowadays. Even gays are accepted now. So just dont get married but just cohabit can already la. Like that no need to argue who should follow whose religion. Of course, you may encounter problems when applying for bto. So if cohabitate, be prepared to rent for ling term or buy private property. Just my two cents

 

[OrLanChowHorFun]

Why not be a gentleman, fuck her and let another honest Malay chap marry her?

precisely....................wanna drink milk................no need bring the cow home...............

 

[Scrooball (clone)]

Why bother to get married in the first place?

And I’m not sure if anyone realize… the gals usually look super hot and slim when young, but become really out of shape after childbirth. There’s no maintaining of figure at all!

 

[JohnTan]

[–]_MirrorMask_ 150 points 7 hours ago
I am Catholic and got married to my husband who is Muslim via ROM (i.e civil marriage). The complication depends on how religious the Muslim’s family are. Other than that is the legal complications such as inheritance and such. Other things like raising children will depend on the couple. At this day and age, there isn’t much problems about being shunned by the public and such.
My advise though is that the couple must really sit down and have a serious talk regarding on how much they are willing to compromise. You can DM me if you have more questions. Always willing to listen to others who struggle with Inter-faith relationships.


[–]_MirrorMask_ 78 points 4 hours ago
There’s no issues on my side as my family is quite open-minded.
My husband’s side was the issue. They kept forcing me to convert hence why we tried out the conversion course at Arqam. Things went downhill fast when we told them we have decided to go through civil marriage even after taking the course. His mom even threatened my life (I wasn’t there but my husband told me and luckily also recorded the conversations). We then used the recordings as evidence then sent a Cease and Desist letter to his mom through a lawyer. Ended up settling the matter by his family agreeing not to contact me anymore. He still goes to visit them and sleep over at his parents once a week. Still very rocky on their end and toxic whenever he comes over. It puts a lot of stress on him but he said we made the right decision because at the end of the day, his parents shouldn’t get to dictate how we live our lives.


[–]basilyeoShocker cyborg 68 points 7 hours ago
Hi, 33m here and my mom is Muslim and my dad is Taoist. They got married in 1987 via civil marriage. What I’ve learnt is that there is no compulsion, but teachings and family practices may differ. Ultimately it depends on whether the Muslim side of the family is able to accept a member of their family marrying outside the religion. My late maternal grandfather (bless his soul) did not forbid it.
I’m Taoist by birth certificate (probably just hospital staff “following father”) but I don’t practise the rites or follow much of it, only participate in ancestral prayers during CNY. I’ve been curious about Christianity (I went to a Christian boys’ school) and Islam, in my late teens and early 20s, but I eventually decided any form of religion is not for me. Never ever been pressured by either of my parents to follow their specific religions either.
For additional context, my mom doesn’t really practice either, the most Muslim thing I’ve ever seen her do is puasa during Ramadan.


[–]wwabbbitt 63 points 7 hours ago
Religion on birth certificate is the stupidest thing ever. Why should people be compelled to a particular religion at birth instead of making their own choices after having grown up and be in a position to make a decision on what religion they want to follow?


[–]basilyeoShocker cyborg 6 points 5 hours ago
Totally right on the money


[–]CloudDevelic 1 point 4 hours ago
This should be enforced as a strict law, under freedom of religious beliefs. I see this as the true rights to freedom of speech and beliefs honestly, and should be guarded and protected as so.


MiloPengAlsoCan 11 points 7 hours ago

If you’re asking for secular rules, then what many have said here should suffice.
If you’re asking about Islamic law on marriages: - a Muslim man can marry a Muslim, Christian, or Jew (what’s also termed People of the Book) woman, the woman does not need to convert to Islam - a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man
While registering your marriage is a secular solution, from an Islamic perspective, the marriage is not valid if you do not convert, based on the above. She would be living in (major) sin from the time of marriage. Any child born during this marriage, again from an Islamic perspective, is considered a child out of wedlock. When you pass, she can’t inherit from you (from an Islamic perspective, and this is not just applicable to such a union). There’s probably only rules as well but these are the top of mind.
To go into this deeper would require a much longer post which takes us off topic, since you’re only looking for the rules.

I've attended weddings where the muud girl married the Christian guy in church. Usually, her family won't attend. And such cases are rare, due to the violent reaction from the muud family when they find out that the other side, guy or girl, isn't converting to their mohameddan religion.

Many of such relationships reach the pre-marriage stage, and then is ended because one side refuses to convert, or allow the children to be raised in the mohameddan religion.

 

[syed putra]

The best combo in a family is having a Muslim mom, Taoist Dad, Christian son n Catholic daughter....

No communists atheist?

 

[batman1]

Get his Minah to denounce her terrorist religion and eat pork!

Muslim religion do not allow her to do do.Only way is for her husband to convert.

 

[syed putra]

Does he know he has to chop?

No. Circumcision is a jewish tradition.

How about converting to be a Jew? Let's see how the Muslim family handles it.

In the 1970's, malay person marrying a christian is tolerated. No need to convert. As christian and jews are known as " people of the book".

There is a easy solution and that is to omit religion and race from the IC. We and jiu hu must be the only country on the planet to indicate religion and race.

Chinese girl in malaysia wanted to marry a sunni egyptian, no problems in egypt. No need to convert as its a secular state.
But when registering marriage in KL, sll sorts of nonsense started, with conversion a must.

 

[bobby]

This is nothing compared to problems with same sex parents...any children will be traumatised in the upbringing.

 

[syed putra]

Muslim religion do not allow her to do do.Only way is for her husband to convert.

Freedom of faith is accorded to all including muslims. But muslim clerics decided against it and imposed harsh penalties for those wanting to leave.

 

[rushifa666]

Why cant just fuck?

 

[laksaboy]

Convert to Jew, then tell the Muslim family "Long live Israel and death to Palestine."

If they still accept him, then they are meant to be together.

 

[Loofydralb]

To the boys and girls who are contemplating doing it, I say, don't be a hypocrite. Exit from Islam and be a Murtad, because essentially you are one.

 

[mudhatter]

Melayun have never been strictly Islamic, ever. Ibn Battuta's accounts reveal that. By Melayun, I mean both malaya and java sumatra etc natives.




In real life this is how things usually play out

Chinks have been f*cked by all and sundry
And CECA virus were ruled by their Muslim masters for 1000 years

 

[mudhatter]

Chinese girl in malaysia wanted to marry a sunni egyptian, no problems in egypt. No need to convert as its a secular state.
But when registering marriage in KL, sll sorts of nonsense started, with conversion a must.

Chink girls dont need to marry, they can be f*cked by all and sundry. It's been done throughout the ages, even CECA take part in it.

Same CECA that were ruled by their Muslim masters for 1000 years.