Sorry for this shitpost. I just need to vent for a bit. So here's my story.
School has only made my life worse. I was bullied from P5 to P6 by my classmates. I was ostracised and discriminated for offering my personal opinions. I has a crush back then and she meant everything to me - cute laugh, alluring voice and a smile that would warm my heart. One fateful day I confessed to her (through a letter) and it marked the beginning of my downfall. She never talked to me since and that letter got passed around to everyone and all my classmates had their own little joke about how "creepy" I was. The only time I was honest and expressed my true feelings for someone, I became a laughing stock. I was shattered inside as people teased and made fun of me over and over and over again, every single day.
I became a punching bag. People saw that I was weakened from the mental damage I sustained and proceeded to take advantage of me - abusing me both physically and verbally.
"Yeah I know you're desperate for her."
"Come come guys lets move out of the way for Damster to stare at her again."
"Your drawings are shit."
"Ya la ya la you're so smart right? Go away lah, smart kid!"
I still remember that time when my classmates made fun of me in public. I still remember that time when my classmates shamed me for coming from a "poor" family. I still remember that time when one of my classmates purposefully held my crush's hand just to make me feel jealous. Life back then was like a movie without a climax - absolutely miserable. I felt oppressed and worthless.
Barely anyone talked to me during those two whole years of hell and sometimes I felt like I was going insane when sitting in a corner doodling. Doodling as I watched various cliques having so much fun. I was so lonely that I would cuddle with a stuffed toy, pretending that its a loved one, and crying myself to sleep day after day. I still do :')
I lost my social skills and developed a speech impediment. I couldn't talk properly, I stuttered when asking questions. It got so bad to the point where I became terrified of ordering food and would go out of my way to avoid it. I grew thinner and thinner. I felt so tired that I didn't want to do anything at all.
More Huat!
School has only made my life worse. I was bullied from P5 to P6 by my classmates. I was ostracised and discriminated for offering my personal opinions. I has a crush back then and she meant everything to me - cute laugh, alluring voice and a smile that would warm my heart. One fateful day I confessed to her (through a letter) and it marked the beginning of my downfall. She never talked to me since and that letter got passed around to everyone and all my classmates had their own little joke about how "creepy" I was. The only time I was honest and expressed my true feelings for someone, I became a laughing stock. I was shattered inside as people teased and made fun of me over and over and over again, every single day.
I became a punching bag. People saw that I was weakened from the mental damage I sustained and proceeded to take advantage of me - abusing me both physically and verbally.
"Yeah I know you're desperate for her."
"Come come guys lets move out of the way for Damster to stare at her again."
"Your drawings are shit."
"Ya la ya la you're so smart right? Go away lah, smart kid!"
I still remember that time when my classmates made fun of me in public. I still remember that time when my classmates shamed me for coming from a "poor" family. I still remember that time when one of my classmates purposefully held my crush's hand just to make me feel jealous. Life back then was like a movie without a climax - absolutely miserable. I felt oppressed and worthless.
Barely anyone talked to me during those two whole years of hell and sometimes I felt like I was going insane when sitting in a corner doodling. Doodling as I watched various cliques having so much fun. I was so lonely that I would cuddle with a stuffed toy, pretending that its a loved one, and crying myself to sleep day after day. I still do :')
I lost my social skills and developed a speech impediment. I couldn't talk properly, I stuttered when asking questions. It got so bad to the point where I became terrified of ordering food and would go out of my way to avoid it. I grew thinner and thinner. I felt so tired that I didn't want to do anything at all.
More Huat!
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