I Know I Am Going to Hell
Amy spoke in a soft voice as she sat down for the first time in my office. “I know
that I am going to hell.”
I was surprised to hear this statement from her. In spite of this declaration, Amy
had no specific goals for an LBL, only a curiosity about what might happen. She was
so matter-of-fact about her imminent damnation to hell that I realized she had already
submitted to her fate. Amy stated that she knew deep within her heart that she would
have an eternal life in hell.
Since childhood, Amy’s family had attended a small, independent fundamental
Christian church. Now twenty-six-years old, Amy’s minister and family had convinced
her that she was a sinner and was going to hell. While explaining her church life, she
admitted to me that she was not yet baptized in her own church because she had failed
as a Christian and was not worthy of baptism. Amy continued to explain that on her
wedding day, her own minister refused to marry them. She had to hire a minister from
a different church. When I questioned her about this arrangement, Amy quietly said that
she is not a Christian because she has not been baptized. Amy cannot see any hope of
ever meeting the standards of her church and minister in the future.
This young woman continued describing the heavy burden of guilt, shame, and
responsibility that she carried with her:
I agonize over a couple of people because they went to hell because of me. I
have guilt because I did not read the Bible to them and didn’t do my part to lead
them to Christ before they died. I have always been told that it is my duty to tell
people about the Bible and to teach them. You are obligated to do this for
others.
When I asked her to explain this to me, Amy continued:
The minister used me as an example in our church one time. He pointed me
out to everyone in the church. When I was fourteen years old, my cousin and I
spent time with a boy. He was cool, twenty-three years old, and drove a
motorcycle. So we hung out with him. He died suddenly. The minister told the
congregation that I should have spent the time telling him about Christ and
297
reading the Bible to him. He said that we only have this one time in life to make
it right. We have no second chances. I ran out of the church crying. I knew that it
was my fault that this friend of mine was not going to heaven, because I did not
take the time to tell him about Jesus.
At home, Amy’s mother supported their minister’s viewpoint and reinforced this
debilitating burden of shame and guilt for causing the eternal damnation of another
soul. There was no way for Amy to resolve or repair her mistake. She was told she
only had one chance to do right, and she’d completely failed. She continued to explain
to me that not only did she fail this man, but that she has failed every person she has
ever met in her life because she has not led them to Jesus. This fourteen-year-old girl
carried this responsibility for the next twelve years of her life.
After the session began, she arrived at her memory of being in her mother’s womb.
As Amy went deeper into hypnosis, she seemed hesitant and fearful. Her voice often
seemed childlike. She had little awareness of body choice or life plan. “I don’t like
the feel of my body.” When I questioned her about the compatibility of this body and
brain, she replied, “I think it is angry too. It is fighting it.” She was not aware of
anything else in the womb.
Amy continued back into a past-life memory, but it was difficult for her to
reexperience. At twelve years old, she found herself in a dress of brown rags, her hair
filthy, starving to death alone in a swamp outside of a small American village. She had
been banished:
I just feel like I can’t go back to the town. I starve out here. I am alone. This
life is just hard and lonely, and there weren’t any good people there. I do not
like that town, there is nothing good there. I don’t feel anything good. I don’t feel
like it did anything for me. I can leave it.
We moved on to her death experience. During the death transition, she continued,
“I am in the sky, but I am looking at my body. I am still by myself, but I am looking
down. I am in the trees. I am mad. I am still mad.”
I asked her, “What do you think about your death?”
298
She replied, “Well, it makes me mad, too.”
Amy became more uncertain and hesitant. Transitioning into the spirit realm
seemed new to her. I encouraged her to notice anything that came into her awareness.
As I moved away, everything went black. Something is white and flickering.
It is real white. It is dancing around and it is coming to me. It is way up ahead
and I can’t make it out. It looks like it has wings. It feels like I am kind of being
pulled. I could fight it but I don’t know where to go. The white light engulfs me
and then moves back. It is a person. I am being pulled to outer space. (long
pause) I can’t go any farther.
After long, long silences, Amy realized that she could not go any farther. She must
go back and revisit her past life. She resisted and was angry. I helped guide her
through her resistance. As she quietly hovered over her twelve-year-old body again,
she finally stated, “I guess I need to forgive people. I don’t know why. I didn’t do
anything. They were just cruel, ugly people. I can’t forgive them. (long pause) This is
a lesson. I’m learning how destructive cruelty and the lack of love can be. I don’t need
to look at my body anymore.”
Amy immediately felt a sense of freedom and lifted quickly away from Earth and
into the spirit world: “My guide surrounds me and fills me with love and
contentment.” Released from that painful time, she immediately discovered her soul
group. Her current brother appeared as white light with some hints of blue. She never
recognized the others, who remain white like herself. When asked about her group, she
stated,
We have the same problems with people and forgiveness. They are doing
about the same. I think we have a ways to go in our advancement. I am feeling
some contentment, but it seems like we have more to learn. They are fun. We
clown around. My group just flies around space. We are not on Earth but we are
in our woods. It is just like being alive again. There are four white lights, and
they are laughing. I don’t know who they are.136
I asked her if the group had any goals for themselves. She quickly replied, “The
299
big one.” She seemed to think that said it all. When asked to clarify, Amy said:
It’s all about love of people and liking them. We are not doing real well
with that goal. I feel like I cannot go any further. I am not able to go any further
with my guide because I am not ready for it. It feels like there is something
bigger. Anytime I leave the lights of my group, I am just in space. I feel the pull
to be back with the group. I am happy there. They are familiar people.
Amy’s voice became clearer and more confident about issues regarding her
current life:
AMY: I have to work at it. I have hardships but not more than I can handle. I do
not like humans. I would be content to stay where I am. No, I don’t remember
choices. I don’t remember wanting this hardship on Earth either. I am trying to
accept females, trying for fairness and to get it right. I have always been female.
TINA: Are you living this life according to your goals?
A: I am not doing enough with people. I need to involve myself with people. I
isolate myself.
T: What are you to do?
A: What I dread the most. I am supposed to open my arms to people and embrace
them and get in with them. I must learn to love and understand people.
T: What is the purpose of this particular life you are currently living?
A: To learn to love all. I am very loving but narrow. I need to be more accepting
and loving of all.
T: Check with your guide to see how to attend to this.
A: The heart … just the heart.
T: How does the church or religion fit in with this life purpose—or does it?
A: Yes, it does. Not religion, but God’s church. God fits in. The creator … all
for the reasons I do not understand. The creator of the earth and human beings so …
it’s just about love, that is all I can get.
300
T: I want you to check into the existence of hell.137
A: (long pause) Hmmm … I got a chill and flashes of faces. (long pause) Hmmm
… But I think they are souls in torment. (even a longer pause) Hmmm … But I think
now it is their own doing, their own creation. He (Amy’s guide) was showing me it
is dark and cold.138
T: What are you to know about this?
A: (long pause) Hmmm … It is their own creation. Just like me. I am not stuck. It
is their own creation. It is a lack of understanding. They just don’t get the simplicity!
They just don’t get it! They just are supposed to seek answers!
T: At what stage is your advancement compared to this?
A: I am far away from them.
T: How do you feel about all that you have learned?
A: I feel good. I can’t explain it. I say stuck, but I am not stuck. It is about
understanding, but I can’t see it. It is perfect, and there is more. I can’t explain it.
T: Is there anything else that your guide wants you to know?
A: Love, love, love—that’s all there is …
It is now five years later. Amy is thirty-one years old. In a conversation with
me, she recollects her past-life experience in the late 1700s where she died of
starvation as a young girl.
A: It was bad. I was tormented by everyone. Similar things are still happening in
this life.
T: What did you like most about the LBL experience?
A: What I liked most was seeing the other people there. I saw enough to make
me a believer. There is a reason we are here. I now have peace of mind. The ideas
of heaven and hell are messing people up. It is a relief to know that there is more
than one chance to get it right.
301
T: What thoughts did you have as you listened to the recording of your LBL?
A: I had forgotten that much of this experience was between the lives here on
Earth and also seeing the people between the lives. For example, I was with my
little brother during the LBL. He is still alive with me in this life, but I remember
reading in Dr. Newton’s book Journey of Souls that only part of our energy is here
in this life and some of our energy remains in the spirit world. I am closer to him
than anyone. He is the only person that I even recognized during the LBL. It bothers
me that I did not even see my own husband.
T: What impact, if any, did your LBL have on your current life?
A: It took a load off and it made sense. I liked it, and it gave a reason for us all
to be here.
T: What would you say about hell now?
A: I saw people in pain and anguish. They were in a dark place, and it was cold.
Faces kept coming up to me. I did not know anyone. I got the impression that they
could have followed the light. Nothing was tormenting them. They just did not
follow the light. They seemed more lost than anything. They just weren’t trying to
see the light. They just did not know. I saw a dark, cold, black place. When I
realized that I was in the midst of this dark place, I stepped back. I did not recognize
the faces. I just moved forward, and I moved out of it, into the brightness and
warmth. Now I realize that the expressions on the faces were not in agony or pain.
They were just confused and lost. They just didn’t know where they were or what to
do.139
T: When people read your story here, what do you really want them to
understand from your experience?
A: I just got the impression that it is so much simpler. There is so much fighting
and killing and guilty feelings for those who have died. You make the choice. It is
all so simple. I feel better about everything.
T: Do you have anything else to tell me about your LBL experience?
302
A: It was so positive. It took away guilt and relieved my conscience. I still
believe in Jesus Christ, but not in hell. I now believe we have more than one time to
learn and improve. We have more than one chance.
This young woman had been conditioned her entire life to expect the inevitable: a
horrifying, hellish life after death. In spite of her lifelong programming, Amy found
something else. She was comforted by a loving guide and supported by her fun-seeking
soul group. She experienced forgiveness and then freedom from anguish. She did not
find hell where souls are condemned to agony and punishment for eternity, but rather a
place where confused souls were making their own choices. Not only did she discover
fun, simplicity, and understanding, Amy found more than one chance to learn and
improve.
Above is an excerpt from Michael Newton's "Memories of the Afterlife" included in "Books on Reincarnation" zip file :
https://files.fm/u/gvjy735mz
Amy spoke in a soft voice as she sat down for the first time in my office. “I know
that I am going to hell.”
I was surprised to hear this statement from her. In spite of this declaration, Amy
had no specific goals for an LBL, only a curiosity about what might happen. She was
so matter-of-fact about her imminent damnation to hell that I realized she had already
submitted to her fate. Amy stated that she knew deep within her heart that she would
have an eternal life in hell.
Since childhood, Amy’s family had attended a small, independent fundamental
Christian church. Now twenty-six-years old, Amy’s minister and family had convinced
her that she was a sinner and was going to hell. While explaining her church life, she
admitted to me that she was not yet baptized in her own church because she had failed
as a Christian and was not worthy of baptism. Amy continued to explain that on her
wedding day, her own minister refused to marry them. She had to hire a minister from
a different church. When I questioned her about this arrangement, Amy quietly said that
she is not a Christian because she has not been baptized. Amy cannot see any hope of
ever meeting the standards of her church and minister in the future.
This young woman continued describing the heavy burden of guilt, shame, and
responsibility that she carried with her:
I agonize over a couple of people because they went to hell because of me. I
have guilt because I did not read the Bible to them and didn’t do my part to lead
them to Christ before they died. I have always been told that it is my duty to tell
people about the Bible and to teach them. You are obligated to do this for
others.
When I asked her to explain this to me, Amy continued:
The minister used me as an example in our church one time. He pointed me
out to everyone in the church. When I was fourteen years old, my cousin and I
spent time with a boy. He was cool, twenty-three years old, and drove a
motorcycle. So we hung out with him. He died suddenly. The minister told the
congregation that I should have spent the time telling him about Christ and
297
reading the Bible to him. He said that we only have this one time in life to make
it right. We have no second chances. I ran out of the church crying. I knew that it
was my fault that this friend of mine was not going to heaven, because I did not
take the time to tell him about Jesus.
At home, Amy’s mother supported their minister’s viewpoint and reinforced this
debilitating burden of shame and guilt for causing the eternal damnation of another
soul. There was no way for Amy to resolve or repair her mistake. She was told she
only had one chance to do right, and she’d completely failed. She continued to explain
to me that not only did she fail this man, but that she has failed every person she has
ever met in her life because she has not led them to Jesus. This fourteen-year-old girl
carried this responsibility for the next twelve years of her life.
After the session began, she arrived at her memory of being in her mother’s womb.
As Amy went deeper into hypnosis, she seemed hesitant and fearful. Her voice often
seemed childlike. She had little awareness of body choice or life plan. “I don’t like
the feel of my body.” When I questioned her about the compatibility of this body and
brain, she replied, “I think it is angry too. It is fighting it.” She was not aware of
anything else in the womb.
Amy continued back into a past-life memory, but it was difficult for her to
reexperience. At twelve years old, she found herself in a dress of brown rags, her hair
filthy, starving to death alone in a swamp outside of a small American village. She had
been banished:
I just feel like I can’t go back to the town. I starve out here. I am alone. This
life is just hard and lonely, and there weren’t any good people there. I do not
like that town, there is nothing good there. I don’t feel anything good. I don’t feel
like it did anything for me. I can leave it.
We moved on to her death experience. During the death transition, she continued,
“I am in the sky, but I am looking at my body. I am still by myself, but I am looking
down. I am in the trees. I am mad. I am still mad.”
I asked her, “What do you think about your death?”
298
She replied, “Well, it makes me mad, too.”
Amy became more uncertain and hesitant. Transitioning into the spirit realm
seemed new to her. I encouraged her to notice anything that came into her awareness.
As I moved away, everything went black. Something is white and flickering.
It is real white. It is dancing around and it is coming to me. It is way up ahead
and I can’t make it out. It looks like it has wings. It feels like I am kind of being
pulled. I could fight it but I don’t know where to go. The white light engulfs me
and then moves back. It is a person. I am being pulled to outer space. (long
pause) I can’t go any farther.
After long, long silences, Amy realized that she could not go any farther. She must
go back and revisit her past life. She resisted and was angry. I helped guide her
through her resistance. As she quietly hovered over her twelve-year-old body again,
she finally stated, “I guess I need to forgive people. I don’t know why. I didn’t do
anything. They were just cruel, ugly people. I can’t forgive them. (long pause) This is
a lesson. I’m learning how destructive cruelty and the lack of love can be. I don’t need
to look at my body anymore.”
Amy immediately felt a sense of freedom and lifted quickly away from Earth and
into the spirit world: “My guide surrounds me and fills me with love and
contentment.” Released from that painful time, she immediately discovered her soul
group. Her current brother appeared as white light with some hints of blue. She never
recognized the others, who remain white like herself. When asked about her group, she
stated,
We have the same problems with people and forgiveness. They are doing
about the same. I think we have a ways to go in our advancement. I am feeling
some contentment, but it seems like we have more to learn. They are fun. We
clown around. My group just flies around space. We are not on Earth but we are
in our woods. It is just like being alive again. There are four white lights, and
they are laughing. I don’t know who they are.136
I asked her if the group had any goals for themselves. She quickly replied, “The
299
big one.” She seemed to think that said it all. When asked to clarify, Amy said:
It’s all about love of people and liking them. We are not doing real well
with that goal. I feel like I cannot go any further. I am not able to go any further
with my guide because I am not ready for it. It feels like there is something
bigger. Anytime I leave the lights of my group, I am just in space. I feel the pull
to be back with the group. I am happy there. They are familiar people.
Amy’s voice became clearer and more confident about issues regarding her
current life:
AMY: I have to work at it. I have hardships but not more than I can handle. I do
not like humans. I would be content to stay where I am. No, I don’t remember
choices. I don’t remember wanting this hardship on Earth either. I am trying to
accept females, trying for fairness and to get it right. I have always been female.
TINA: Are you living this life according to your goals?
A: I am not doing enough with people. I need to involve myself with people. I
isolate myself.
T: What are you to do?
A: What I dread the most. I am supposed to open my arms to people and embrace
them and get in with them. I must learn to love and understand people.
T: What is the purpose of this particular life you are currently living?
A: To learn to love all. I am very loving but narrow. I need to be more accepting
and loving of all.
T: Check with your guide to see how to attend to this.
A: The heart … just the heart.
T: How does the church or religion fit in with this life purpose—or does it?
A: Yes, it does. Not religion, but God’s church. God fits in. The creator … all
for the reasons I do not understand. The creator of the earth and human beings so …
it’s just about love, that is all I can get.
300
T: I want you to check into the existence of hell.137
A: (long pause) Hmmm … I got a chill and flashes of faces. (long pause) Hmmm
… But I think they are souls in torment. (even a longer pause) Hmmm … But I think
now it is their own doing, their own creation. He (Amy’s guide) was showing me it
is dark and cold.138
T: What are you to know about this?
A: (long pause) Hmmm … It is their own creation. Just like me. I am not stuck. It
is their own creation. It is a lack of understanding. They just don’t get the simplicity!
They just don’t get it! They just are supposed to seek answers!
T: At what stage is your advancement compared to this?
A: I am far away from them.
T: How do you feel about all that you have learned?
A: I feel good. I can’t explain it. I say stuck, but I am not stuck. It is about
understanding, but I can’t see it. It is perfect, and there is more. I can’t explain it.
T: Is there anything else that your guide wants you to know?
A: Love, love, love—that’s all there is …
It is now five years later. Amy is thirty-one years old. In a conversation with
me, she recollects her past-life experience in the late 1700s where she died of
starvation as a young girl.
A: It was bad. I was tormented by everyone. Similar things are still happening in
this life.
T: What did you like most about the LBL experience?
A: What I liked most was seeing the other people there. I saw enough to make
me a believer. There is a reason we are here. I now have peace of mind. The ideas
of heaven and hell are messing people up. It is a relief to know that there is more
than one chance to get it right.
301
T: What thoughts did you have as you listened to the recording of your LBL?
A: I had forgotten that much of this experience was between the lives here on
Earth and also seeing the people between the lives. For example, I was with my
little brother during the LBL. He is still alive with me in this life, but I remember
reading in Dr. Newton’s book Journey of Souls that only part of our energy is here
in this life and some of our energy remains in the spirit world. I am closer to him
than anyone. He is the only person that I even recognized during the LBL. It bothers
me that I did not even see my own husband.
T: What impact, if any, did your LBL have on your current life?
A: It took a load off and it made sense. I liked it, and it gave a reason for us all
to be here.
T: What would you say about hell now?
A: I saw people in pain and anguish. They were in a dark place, and it was cold.
Faces kept coming up to me. I did not know anyone. I got the impression that they
could have followed the light. Nothing was tormenting them. They just did not
follow the light. They seemed more lost than anything. They just weren’t trying to
see the light. They just did not know. I saw a dark, cold, black place. When I
realized that I was in the midst of this dark place, I stepped back. I did not recognize
the faces. I just moved forward, and I moved out of it, into the brightness and
warmth. Now I realize that the expressions on the faces were not in agony or pain.
They were just confused and lost. They just didn’t know where they were or what to
do.139
T: When people read your story here, what do you really want them to
understand from your experience?
A: I just got the impression that it is so much simpler. There is so much fighting
and killing and guilty feelings for those who have died. You make the choice. It is
all so simple. I feel better about everything.
T: Do you have anything else to tell me about your LBL experience?
302
A: It was so positive. It took away guilt and relieved my conscience. I still
believe in Jesus Christ, but not in hell. I now believe we have more than one time to
learn and improve. We have more than one chance.
This young woman had been conditioned her entire life to expect the inevitable: a
horrifying, hellish life after death. In spite of her lifelong programming, Amy found
something else. She was comforted by a loving guide and supported by her fun-seeking
soul group. She experienced forgiveness and then freedom from anguish. She did not
find hell where souls are condemned to agony and punishment for eternity, but rather a
place where confused souls were making their own choices. Not only did she discover
fun, simplicity, and understanding, Amy found more than one chance to learn and
improve.
Above is an excerpt from Michael Newton's "Memories of the Afterlife" included in "Books on Reincarnation" zip file :
https://files.fm/u/gvjy735mz
