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Traumatic Reunion Dinner at bf’s house
ShockingI feel like such a horrible person for even thinking about these things, but I honestly don't know who to talk to without sounding like a judgmental person.
I’ve been with my BF for close to a year. He’s the sweetest guy, super hardworking, and I love him to bits. Yesterday was the first time I went to his place for CNY reunion dinner. For context, I know that my family and his family has some SES differences, but I haven’t been bothered by it until yesterday.
My family stays in a landed home in District X. I knew he stayed in a 3-room HDB , but seeing it in person was a total culture shock.
The moment I stepped in, I felt so out of place. The house was so cramped, and the smell of cooking oil was everywhere because the kitchen is right next to the living room. His parents don't speak a word of English, only very loud, broken Hokkien/Mandarin.
I tried my best to smile and use my limited Hokkien to communicate with them. I wanted to make a good impression, so I really dressed up. I wore a modest designer cheongsam (the lace one from SC brand) with some jewellery.
I thought I looked respectful and proper for the elders. However, this has bad fired badly. His dad was quite uncouth... throughout dinner, he kept staring at me. He made some comments in Hokkien like, "Wah, your gf so 'swee,' body also very 'tok kong.' You better faster make her pregnant so she don't run away." Then he winked and made some hand gestures that made me feel so violated. Everyone else (including his siblings and mum) laughed like it was a normal joke, even my BF just chuckled and told him to eat more. I felt so cheap.
Now I’m caught in a dilemma. I love my BF, but I’m thinking about our future. If we get married, my parents (who are very refined/particular about etiquette) have to sit across the table from a man who makes sexual jokes about his own daughter-in-law? I duno how both of our families can mingle in future. Now I feel so naive for thinking "love conquers all." Is this what life is going to be like? Am I being a classist snob for being bothered by the 3-room flat and the lack of manners, or am I right to be scared? Please don't roast me as an entitled princess as I’m already feeling like trash, so appreciate constructive comments and advice to help me clear my mind.



