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Redditer: Met her in a bar in Thailand, she was a freelancer, now I want to marry her. Am I being an idiot?

Flibbertigibbet

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Met her in a bar in Thailand, she was a freelancer, now I want to marry her. Am I being an idiot?​

Bangkok/Middle

I need honest advice, not judgment. I already know how this sounds.

I'm in my late 40s, divorced once, no kids. I've been traveling to Thailand regularly for about three years. Two years ago in Bangkok I met a woman at a bar in the Sukhumvit area. She was a freelancer, meaning she wasn't tied to any specific bar, she worked independently. We both knew what the first night was.

What I didn't expect was everything after that.

I extended my trip. We spent real time together — markets, temples, day trips, just walking around eating street food. She was funny, warm, and surprisingly easy to talk to despite the language barrier. I went home, but we kept in contact. I came back four months later. Then again. Over two years, I've visited six times, each trip longer than the last. Last visit was two months straight.

Now she's talking about the future seriously, and honestly… so am I.







 


Translated :

Hello, I am Thai. I would like to ask you a little bit: Have you transferred money to her every month? If you did, how much did you transfer? If you bought anything for her, simply put, how much money have you spent? If you don't take care of her, I suggest you continue dating. It means she's not dating you for money. But if you've paid her in the past, I don't want you to get married.

As a Thai woman, I think that if you're going to marry someone, no matter what country the woman is from, you shouldn't start meeting that woman at a bar. It's a place that's not quite okay (or maybe it's just right for you because you're traveling).

You must have felt good about her in the past because it was all about traveling, a good atmosphere, no need to be stressed, we went out together, life was already happy. But in real life, we can't travel all the time.

Why do you need to get married so quickly? You should date her as your boyfriend and experiment with her first, see if they get along, what her personality is like.

There's a saying in Thailand that says women should look at men when they're rich (would they still choose us if they're rich?). But if you're a man, you should look at women when they're struggling. (Do you still choose us?)
 
Of course you can marry her but as long as you are OK that most of us will continue to fuck her.
 
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