Personal dilemma - please enlighten me

Chase

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Sorry, let me rant a bit.

Lately, I made a (not big) donation to a poor Thai hospital. I am not well-to-do but the amount means a lot to the Thai people. My due diligence confirmed that the money bought supplies to the hospital.

Times are bad now and the hospital needs more help now and I hope to giving them more. My close friend and family are sad, angry, and disappointed with my decision because if I match the first donation amount, it will cripple my finances. To them, it is like so foolish not to save for rainy days ahead (recession) and at least, my priority should be to help my extended family if I want to be helpful.

I feel foolish, that everyone says that i am not thinking with my brains.
I feel angry, that I am trying to do good, but in return, I am perceived as reckless and disappointed my loved ones.
It supposed to be for charity; I never asked for anything but in return, I get sadness.

Stupid no cure right?
I guess this is life. Might as well spend the money on drinks and cigarettes, everyone will be happier, including myself.

Thanks for reading.
 
Sorry, let me rant a bit.

Lately, I made a (not big) donation to a poor Thai hospital. I am not well-to-do but the amount means a lot to the Thai people. My due diligence confirmed that the money bought supplies to the hospital.

Times are bad now and the hospital needs more help now and I hope to giving them more. My close friend and family are sad, angry, and disappointed with my decision because if I match the first donation amount, it will cripple my finances. To them, it is like so foolish not to save for rainy days ahead (recession) and at least, my priority should be to help my extended family if I want to be helpful.

I feel foolish, that everyone says that i am not thinking with my brains.
I feel angry, that I am trying to do good, but in return, I am perceived as reckless and disappointed my loved ones.
It supposed to be for charity; I never asked for anything but in return, I get sadness.

Stupid no cure right?
I guess this is life. Might as well spend the money on drinks and cigarettes, everyone will be happier, including myself.

Thanks for reading.
First, I am not as Wei Da as you. I wouldn't have done what you have done. Second, I think your family is right. You need to help yourself first before you can help others. If you suffer, the ones that you want to help will also suffer with you. Sorry, as I said, I am not Wei Da like you
 
Sorry, let me rant a bit.

Lately, I made a (not big) donation to a poor Thai hospital. I am not well-to-do but the amount means a lot to the Thai people. My due diligence confirmed that the money bought supplies to the hospital.

Times are bad now and the hospital needs more help now and I hope to giving them more. My close friend and family are sad, angry, and disappointed with my decision because if I match the first donation amount, it will cripple my finances. To them, it is like so foolish not to save for rainy days ahead (recession) and at least, my priority should be to help my extended family if I want to be helpful.

I feel foolish, that everyone says that i am not thinking with my brains.
I feel angry, that I am trying to do good, but in return, I am perceived as reckless and disappointed my loved ones.
It supposed to be for charity; I never asked for anything but in return, I get sadness.

Stupid no cure right?
I guess this is life. Might as well spend the money on drinks and cigarettes, everyone will be happier, including myself.

Thanks for reading.

I share with you one of my favorite parables, and every good story needs a good sound track :biggrin:



The Old Man and his Horse (a.k.a. Sai Weng Shi Ma)
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”

“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”


It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”
 
Sorry, let me rant a bit.

Lately, I made a (not big) donation to a poor Thai hospital. I am not well-to-do but the amount means a lot to the Thai people. My due diligence confirmed that the money bought supplies to the hospital.

Times are bad now and the hospital needs more help now and I hope to giving them more. My close friend and family are sad, angry, and disappointed with my decision because if I match the first donation amount, it will cripple my finances. To them, it is like so foolish not to save for rainy days ahead (recession) and at least, my priority should be to help my extended family if I want to be helpful.

I feel foolish, that everyone says that i am not thinking with my brains.
I feel angry, that I am trying to do good, but in return, I am perceived as reckless and disappointed my loved ones.
It supposed to be for charity; I never asked for anything but in return, I get sadness.

Stupid no cure right?
I guess this is life. Might as well spend the money on drinks and cigarettes, everyone will be happier, including myself.

Thanks for reading.
It's always good to be charitable for the right cause. Charity, kindness and compassion are what make us humans. Rather, good humans (because there are also a lot of fucked up cheebye motherfuckers around who are crooks and will take advantage).

What you give away must be what you can afford to not have, what you can afford to lose. That's my general rule.
 
I share with you one of my favorite parables, and every good story needs a good sound track :biggrin:



The Old Man and his Horse (a.k.a. Sai Weng Shi Ma)
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”

“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”


It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

Sorry, I am a bit dumb, or maybe I am really slow. I understand the story but what's the message for SOS? Donate or not donate? Confused.
 
I have long ago decided not to help humans, simply because there are more than enough organisations and NGOs to help them. I personally decided to help animals, I feed my community cats and stray dogs... they have no one to help them and increasingly less space to live and more people seem to derive satisfaction from abusing them, i just don't understand. There is no need for you to ask for advice, just do what you think is right, why u gotta do things to appease people's expectations?
 
I share with you one of my favorite parables, and every good story needs a good sound track :biggrin:



The Old Man and his Horse (a.k.a. Sai Weng Shi Ma)
Once there was an old man who lived in a tiny village. Although poor, he was envied by all, for he owned a beautiful white horse. Even the king coveted his treasure. A horse like this had never been seen before – such was its splendor, its majesty, its strength.
People offered fabulous prices for the steed, but the old man always refused. “This horse is not a horse to me,” he would tell them. “It is a person. How could you sell a person? He is a friend, not a possession. How could you sell a friend.” The man was poor and the temptation was great. But he never sold the horse.
One morning he found that the horse was not in his stable. All the village came to see him. “You old fool,” they scoffed, “we told you that someone would steal your horse. We warned you that you would be robbed. You are so poor. How could you ever protect such a valuable animal? It would have been better to have sold him. You could have gotten whatever price you wanted. No amount would have been too high. Now the horse is gone and you’ve been cursed with misfortune.”
The old man responded, “Don’t speak too quickly. Say only that the horse is not in the stable. That is all we know; the rest is judgment. If I’ve been cursed or not, how can you know? How can you judge?”
The people contested, “Don’t make us out to be fools! We may not be philosophers, but great philosophy is not needed. The simple fact that your horse is gone is a curse.”
The old man spoke again. “All I know is that the stable is empty, and the horse is gone. The rest I don’t know. Whether it be a curse or a blessing, I can’t say. All we can see is a fragment. Who can say what will come next?”
The people of the village laughed. They thought that the man was crazy. They had always thought he was a fool; if he wasn’t, he would have sold the horse and lived off the money. But instead, he was a poor woodcutter, and old man still cutting firewood and dragging it out of the forest and selling it. He lived hand to mouth in the misery of poverty. Now he had proven that he was, indeed, a fool.
After fifteen days, the horse returned. He hadn’t been stolen; he had run away into the forest. Not only had he returned, he had brought a dozen wild horses with him. Once again, the village people gathered around the woodcutter and spoke. “Old man, you were right and we were wrong. What we thought was a curse was a blessing. Please forgive us.”
The man responded, “Once again, you go too far. Say only that the horse is back. State only that a dozen horses returned with him, but don’t judge. How do you know if this is a blessing or not? You see only a fragment. Unless you know the whole story, how can you judge? You read only one page of a book. Can you judge the whole book? You read only one word of one phrase. Can you understand the entire phrase?”

“Life is so vast, yet you judge all of life with one page or one word. All you have is one fragment! Don’t say that this is a blessing. No one knows. I am content with what I know. I am not perturbed by what I don’t.”
“Maybe the old man is right,” they said to one another. So they said little. But down deep, they knew he was wrong. They knew it was a blessing. Twelve wild horses had returned. With a little work, the animals could be broken and trained and sold for much money.
The old man had a son, an only son. The young man began to break the wild horses. After a few days, he fell from one of the horses and broke both legs. Once again the villagers gathered around the old man and cast their judgments.
“You were right,” they said. “You proved you were right. The dozen horses were not a blessing. They were a curse. Your only son has broken both his legs, and now in your old age you have no one to help you. Now you are poorer than ever.”
The old man spoke again. “You people are obsessed with judging. Don’t go so far. Say only that my son broke his legs. Who knows if it is a blessing or a curse? No one knows. We only have a fragment. Life comes in fragments.”


It so happened that a few weeks later the country engaged in war against a neighboring country. All the young men of the village were required to join the army. Only the son of the old man was excluded, because he was injured. Once again the people gathered around the old man, crying and screaming because their sons had been taken. There was little chance that they would return. The enemy was strong, and the war would be a losing struggle. They would never see their sons again.
“You were right, old man,” They wept. “God knows you were right. This proves it. Your son’s accident was a blessing. His legs may be broken, but at least he is with you. Our sons are gone forever.”
The old man spoke again. “It is impossible to talk with you. You always draw conclusions. No one knows. Say only this. Your sons had to go to war, and mine did not. No one knows if it is a blessing or a curse. No one is wise enough to know. Only God knows.”

Also, if he is so poor, how can be be able to feed his horse, and then a total of 12 horses.
 
Sorry, I am a bit dumb, or maybe I am really slow. I understand the story but what's the message for SOS? Donate or not donate? Confused.

If you are confused, the parable has served its purpose.

Only SOS can answer the question.

Or if you prefer... There is no right answer. Just enjoy the song with your kid. :thumbsup:
 
I have long ago decided not to help humans, simply because there are more than enough organisations and NGOs to help them. I personally decided to help animals, I feed my community cats and stray dogs... they have no one to help them and increasingly less space to live and more people seem to derive satisfaction from abusing them, i just don't understand. There is no need for you to ask for advice, just do what you think is right, why u gotta do things to appease people's expectations?

You are the Jane Goodall of cats and dogs!
 
If you are confused, the parable has served its purpose.

Only SOS can answer the question.

Or if you prefer... There is no right answer. Just enjoy the song with your kid. :thumbsup:

Thank you Sir.
 
Also, if he is so poor, how can be be able to feed his horse, and then a total of 12 horses.

Ah! Another mystery of life. How does a poor man feed 12 horse? We can devote our life to solving this mystery, or simply accept that we will never know until we have 12 horses.

For me, my 300 horses have been drinking lots of 98 octane fuel.
 
You are the Jane Goodall of cats and dogs!

I have no idea who that is, but let's just all be kind to animals. On another note, there is one thing the PAP govt has done which i approve is that community cats and dogs are spared from culling, there is outright ban of putting them to sleep just for being strays. The process is more humane now, strays are caught and neutered/sterilised and released back to their original surroundings, so your community cats you see downstairs will be there till they die, they just unable to reporduce though, which is a good thing. Also, all such procedures are carried out free of charge as vets can claim back the costs from govt. Rehoming and fostering is also big now and you can see that HDBs now allow larger dogs to be homed there to facilitate this. Many things I do not like about PAP, but this is the right way in the right direction. The main problem of pets ownership now is irresponsible and inconsiderate pet owners more than anything.
 
community cats and dogs are spared from culling,

not true sir, SPCA told me that if nobody adopts the strays that they caught, they will be put to sleep.
SPCA also told me that if my location less accessible, they want to charge me for asking them to pick-up strays.
 
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