Transmodified from hxxp://sg.news.yahoo.com/mnd--no-misuse-of-funds-in-aim-saga--080739606.html
A wayang probe designed to placate stupid peasants who are fumming over the dodgy sale of the Peasant's Arses Party (PAP)'s Town Council management software to Arses Information Mismanagement (AIM) has found no evidence of any misuse of public funds.
A lackey prepared a report submitted to Ruler Loong by the Ministry of Pigeonholes (MND) found that the controversial AIM partisan deal had complied with the regime's own version of the Peasants' Town Councils Act and Peasant Town Council Financial Rules.
Only an lackey who is tired of living will dare to tell Ruler Loong that such a partisan dodgy deal should not have occurred.
The wayang report stated that the main issue at hand was whether the regime's interests has been covered. The peasants' interests are of no relevance since they have to kowtow to Ruler Loong's portrait 5 times daily. Hence any conflict of interest or misuse of public funds are irrelevant if you apply the mathematical principle of induction.
In a press release Ruler Loong said he is pleased and "accepted the findings" and the lackey who prepared the report will be duly rewarded.
"The Wayang Team concluded that the AIM transaction will always complied with the Town Councils Act and Town Council Financial Rules. Since MND eventually reports to Ruler Loong and all monies in the land belongs to Familee, there cannot be misuse or loss of public moneys in the transaction. However an explanation is required to bust the Anglo-Saxon concept of politicising TC administration that puts the peasants' interests in peril," read the release.
With this in mind, Ruler Loong decreed that National Birdcage Minion Penang Laksa Khaw will be delivering an Ummo style Minion Statement on the review, covering both the AIM transaction and overall governance of TCs, when Imperial Court convenes on 13 May.
The wayang review cite Quantum Mechanics theory and claimed the dodgy AIM deal was legally sound as the Ruler Loong can always amend the kangaroo law to legalise transactions between town councils and companies owned by the regime.
Similarly it cited the Uncertainty Principle if no town council lackey had material interests in AIM and at the same time interfered in the awarding of the contract to AIM in 2010 through an queer open tender process. Therefore in Quantum Theory, the dodgy deal is perfectly kosher.
However the same Uncertainity Principle did not take into account that the regime-owned AIM had in fact made the only official bid despite five other companies expressing interest after told to fuck off.
In addition, the review further cite Einstein's Special Relativity that if speed of light is constant in all inertial frame, then Town Councils can accept a single bid if Ruler Loong thinks it is a good idea. Meeting or not meeting the requirements of the tender is once again irrelevant as long as the partisan regime controlled town council can AIM to bash the Axis of Evil opposition town council.
The wayang review found that AIM rather made a loss on its transaction with the Town Council to make life difficult for Labour controlled town councils. This proved the concept that the regime will spare no costs to balk Labour's town councils.
Independent external auditors who are paid by the regime, audited the 2010 financial accounts of the PAP's 14 Tcs knew who was paying their consultancy fees, cleverly did not raise the AIM deal as an issue.
Misunderstanding Theorem
Addressing the issues raised between pariah Peasants' Representatives from the then-Aljunied Hougang TC (AHTC), the review cited the Misunderstanding Theorem on the execution of a termination clause in 2011 based on formal communication between the two.
The review claimed opposition-run AHTC, under the effects of smoking pot, had foolishly believed that AIM would be fixing them and terminating its contract under it's contract's termination clause. AHTC realizing the inevitably fix against them had no choice but to write to Ruler Loong's AIM in June 2011 to inform them that it was developing its own system and requested to be able to use AIM's system until August 2011 as it tested the reliability of its new system.
AIM, directed by Ruler Loong's lackeys, misunderstood AHTC's letter immediately issued a notice of termination on 22 June 2011.
AIM's dirty tricks, no doubt inspired by Ummo, caused a big uproar with Labour's Sylvia Lim showing hand, accusing Ruler Loong of trying to "trip" up incoming opposition against public interest. This caused a red faced Ruler Loong to order Penang Laksa to employ spin doctors to contain the public glare on the matter.
No future 'safeguards' against similar Ummo tricks in 2016.
The review also recommended said future town council can use partisan tricks to make life difficult for Labour after 2016 and peasants should accept the reality.
In response to the MND's findings, the Labour Party issued a response through Party Chairman Sylvia Lim on Friday.
"Fuck you ok! MND learning from Northern Matland's Erection Commission huh? AIM dare to play punk, now kenna exposed, U-turn and say 'misunderstanding'. You think this is Northern Matland is it? Can 'suka suka' say you cannot use the software that you paid for earlier just because you sarpok Labour?," said Lim in a statement.
A wayang probe designed to placate stupid peasants who are fumming over the dodgy sale of the Peasant's Arses Party (PAP)'s Town Council management software to Arses Information Mismanagement (AIM) has found no evidence of any misuse of public funds.
A lackey prepared a report submitted to Ruler Loong by the Ministry of Pigeonholes (MND) found that the controversial AIM partisan deal had complied with the regime's own version of the Peasants' Town Councils Act and Peasant Town Council Financial Rules.
Only an lackey who is tired of living will dare to tell Ruler Loong that such a partisan dodgy deal should not have occurred.
The wayang report stated that the main issue at hand was whether the regime's interests has been covered. The peasants' interests are of no relevance since they have to kowtow to Ruler Loong's portrait 5 times daily. Hence any conflict of interest or misuse of public funds are irrelevant if you apply the mathematical principle of induction.
In a press release Ruler Loong said he is pleased and "accepted the findings" and the lackey who prepared the report will be duly rewarded.
"The Wayang Team concluded that the AIM transaction will always complied with the Town Councils Act and Town Council Financial Rules. Since MND eventually reports to Ruler Loong and all monies in the land belongs to Familee, there cannot be misuse or loss of public moneys in the transaction. However an explanation is required to bust the Anglo-Saxon concept of politicising TC administration that puts the peasants' interests in peril," read the release.
With this in mind, Ruler Loong decreed that National Birdcage Minion Penang Laksa Khaw will be delivering an Ummo style Minion Statement on the review, covering both the AIM transaction and overall governance of TCs, when Imperial Court convenes on 13 May.
The wayang review cite Quantum Mechanics theory and claimed the dodgy AIM deal was legally sound as the Ruler Loong can always amend the kangaroo law to legalise transactions between town councils and companies owned by the regime.
Similarly it cited the Uncertainty Principle if no town council lackey had material interests in AIM and at the same time interfered in the awarding of the contract to AIM in 2010 through an queer open tender process. Therefore in Quantum Theory, the dodgy deal is perfectly kosher.
However the same Uncertainity Principle did not take into account that the regime-owned AIM had in fact made the only official bid despite five other companies expressing interest after told to fuck off.
In addition, the review further cite Einstein's Special Relativity that if speed of light is constant in all inertial frame, then Town Councils can accept a single bid if Ruler Loong thinks it is a good idea. Meeting or not meeting the requirements of the tender is once again irrelevant as long as the partisan regime controlled town council can AIM to bash the Axis of Evil opposition town council.
The wayang review found that AIM rather made a loss on its transaction with the Town Council to make life difficult for Labour controlled town councils. This proved the concept that the regime will spare no costs to balk Labour's town councils.
Independent external auditors who are paid by the regime, audited the 2010 financial accounts of the PAP's 14 Tcs knew who was paying their consultancy fees, cleverly did not raise the AIM deal as an issue.
Misunderstanding Theorem
Addressing the issues raised between pariah Peasants' Representatives from the then-Aljunied Hougang TC (AHTC), the review cited the Misunderstanding Theorem on the execution of a termination clause in 2011 based on formal communication between the two.
The review claimed opposition-run AHTC, under the effects of smoking pot, had foolishly believed that AIM would be fixing them and terminating its contract under it's contract's termination clause. AHTC realizing the inevitably fix against them had no choice but to write to Ruler Loong's AIM in June 2011 to inform them that it was developing its own system and requested to be able to use AIM's system until August 2011 as it tested the reliability of its new system.
AIM, directed by Ruler Loong's lackeys, misunderstood AHTC's letter immediately issued a notice of termination on 22 June 2011.
AIM's dirty tricks, no doubt inspired by Ummo, caused a big uproar with Labour's Sylvia Lim showing hand, accusing Ruler Loong of trying to "trip" up incoming opposition against public interest. This caused a red faced Ruler Loong to order Penang Laksa to employ spin doctors to contain the public glare on the matter.
No future 'safeguards' against similar Ummo tricks in 2016.
The review also recommended said future town council can use partisan tricks to make life difficult for Labour after 2016 and peasants should accept the reality.
In response to the MND's findings, the Labour Party issued a response through Party Chairman Sylvia Lim on Friday.
"Fuck you ok! MND learning from Northern Matland's Erection Commission huh? AIM dare to play punk, now kenna exposed, U-turn and say 'misunderstanding'. You think this is Northern Matland is it? Can 'suka suka' say you cannot use the software that you paid for earlier just because you sarpok Labour?," said Lim in a statement.
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