Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
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Life's Lessons?
Wife to her Accountant husband:
what is inflation?
Husband:
Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are 48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION .:p
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Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!
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Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But, A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
Wife to her Accountant husband:
what is inflation?
Husband:
Earlier you were 36-24-36. But now you are 48-40-48.
Though you have everything bigger than before, your value has become less than before.
This is INFLATION .:p
-------------------------------------------
Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
Interviewer: What is Recession?
Candidate: When "Wine & Women" get replaced by "Water & Wife", that critical phase of life is called Recession!!
---------------------
Accountancy fact:
What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
A drunk friend is liability.
But, A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset.
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Economics (vs Grexit)
Economic systems vs the GREEK'S:
SOCIALISM
U have 2 cows, the State takes 1 n gives it to ur neighbor.
COMMUNISM
U have 2 cows, the State takes both and gives u some milk.
FASCISM
U have 2 cows, the State takes both and sells u some milk.
BUREAUCRACY
You have 2 cows, the State takes both, shoots 1, milks the other and throws the milk away.
CAPITALISM
U have 2 cows, u sell 1 and buy a bull.
Ur herd multiplies. U sell them and retire on the income.
N then there's the GREEK SYSTEM:
U borrow 2 cows from the French n Germans. U eat both of them.
The French & Germans call to collect their milk, but u cannot deliver so u call the IMF.
The IMF loans u 2 cows. U eat both of them.
The French, Germans n the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
U DECIDE to call a REFERENDUM.
Economic systems vs the GREEK'S:
SOCIALISM
U have 2 cows, the State takes 1 n gives it to ur neighbor.
COMMUNISM
U have 2 cows, the State takes both and gives u some milk.
FASCISM
U have 2 cows, the State takes both and sells u some milk.
BUREAUCRACY
You have 2 cows, the State takes both, shoots 1, milks the other and throws the milk away.
CAPITALISM
U have 2 cows, u sell 1 and buy a bull.
Ur herd multiplies. U sell them and retire on the income.
N then there's the GREEK SYSTEM:
U borrow 2 cows from the French n Germans. U eat both of them.
The French & Germans call to collect their milk, but u cannot deliver so u call the IMF.
The IMF loans u 2 cows. U eat both of them.
The French, Germans n the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
U DECIDE to call a REFERENDUM.
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Big knockers. Possibly BeerFest in Bavaria with some fraulein floozy? :p
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Mid week dig at royalty
The following just d clas-sified n released by d UK authorities, hence belated on a BRITISH ROYAL touch................
Camilla, d Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly ti-ghter n tighter as d day went on.....
That night, when d festivities were finally over n they reti-red to their room, she flopped on d bed and said,
"Charles, darling, plse remove my shoes, my feet r killing me....!"
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vi-gor, but it wouldn't bu-dge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla... "Harder" Cha rles yelled back: "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"...
"Come on! Give it all u' ve got!" she cried.
Fina lly, when it got release d, Charles let out a big groan n Camilla excla-imed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good".
In their bedroom next do or, d Queen said to Pri-nce Phillip, "See! I told u, with a face like that, she had to b a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one' s even tighter!" @ whi-ch Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy! He served in the Navy: once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!"....
The following just d clas-sified n released by d UK authorities, hence belated on a BRITISH ROYAL touch................
Camilla, d Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly ti-ghter n tighter as d day went on.....
That night, when d festivities were finally over n they reti-red to their room, she flopped on d bed and said,
"Charles, darling, plse remove my shoes, my feet r killing me....!"
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vi-gor, but it wouldn't bu-dge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla... "Harder" Cha rles yelled back: "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"...
"Come on! Give it all u' ve got!" she cried.
Fina lly, when it got release d, Charles let out a big groan n Camilla excla-imed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good".
In their bedroom next do or, d Queen said to Pri-nce Phillip, "See! I told u, with a face like that, she had to b a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one' s even tighter!" @ whi-ch Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy! He served in the Navy: once a Rear Admiral, always a Rear Admiral!"....
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