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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine

hornylee

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
bro yy has not stopped looking atb these 2 since you posted ...he hasnt reported for work too.


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pisspot

Alfrescian
Loyal
A salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a
haircut before his meeting tomorrow, he called down to the desk
clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. "I'm afraid not,
sir," the clerk told him apologetically, "but down the hall from your room
is a vending machine that should serve your purposes." Skeptical but
intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15, and stuck
his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and
spin. Fifteen seconds later, he pulled out his head and looked in
the mirror, and saw the best haircut of his life. "Would wonders never
cease! This futuristic stuff is amazing," he thought!

Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, "Manicures,
$10." "Why not," he thought. He paid the money, inserted his hands
into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and spin. Fifteen
seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly
manicured.

The next machine had a sign that read, "Machine provides a service
that men need when away from their wives, .... 50 Cents." "Oh,
man.... Do I ever need that!" He looked both ways, put fifty cents
in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck
his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing,
he let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out! Fifteen seconds
later it shut off. With trembling hands, he was able to withdraw his member.
It now had a button neatly sewn on the end.
 

hornylee

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

"

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" --
She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
INCONVENIENCED"

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
 

hornylee

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL"

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Just "discovered" Russell Peters, stand up comedy act. Hear his is a sell out in Sg come March

Here's one with Chinese and Ah Nehs, and hilarious one with Jamaicans

[video=youtube;QYiteaPBlz0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=SG&hl=en-GB&v=QYiteaPBlz0[/video]
 
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upzmypointsnow

Alfrescian
Loyal
At a party recently someone yelled,"All the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."



The bartender was almost crushed to death.
 

yinyang

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
Some comic relief from all white paper fuss: :p:wink:

Policeman
'Use the tazer, Mick!'

"For CHRIST'S SAKE use the fuckin' tazer!"

6B7D32D7-BCC9-4024-8773-8FD6104E0D7D-1963-00000609D867DCAA_zps7151e665.jpg
 
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laksaboy

Alfrescian (Inf)
Asset
That's how Sinkies are going to feel in 2030 with a 7 million population: getting mounted by a stallion.
 

pisspot

Alfrescian
Loyal
Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid Pregnancy .

On a NUDE beach a man shakes hand with a lady & says: Pleased to meet U!
Lady: Yeah, I can SEE that .... !!
 

jubilee1919

Alfrescian (InfP)
Generous Asset
bro yy has not stopped looking atb these 2 since you posted ...he hasnt reported for work too.

Taking a break from SBF. Too much serious politicking and quarrels.:eek: Since then been going to other forums for some light reading.:smile:

MC ...from suffocation by the boobies :p:o

Want more?:biggrin:

Just "discovered" Russell Peters, stand up comedy act. Hear his is a sell out in Sg come March

Here's one with Chinese and Ah Nehs, and hilarious one with Jamaicans

Bro, Russell started his path to fame through Youtube many years ago. You mean you only knew about him recently? Yes, he is a good comedian.
 
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