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Not blue pill.. but laughter's best medicine
- Thread starter yinyang
- Start date
July 16 Delicious Food Day.
Vladimir Khakhanov
July 16 Delicious Food Day. No matter how much nutritionists say to us that choosing the right foods,
we still with great pleasure give preference to delicious delights.
Vladimir Khakhanov
July 16 Delicious Food Day. No matter how much nutritionists say to us that choosing the right foods,
we still with great pleasure give preference to delicious delights.
*AI vs ACI* (Artificial Intelligence vs Artificial Counter Intelligence)
Hey Google, I am feeling the urge to have sex.
Google:: Most certainly. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 degrees.
The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The vagina gel is kept next to it.
I have hired your favourite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away as per her uber ride status.
I have scheduled her 5k payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.
I have checked your wife's GPS and she is at Walmart buying groceries. As per her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours plus considering Google maps traffic, an extra 1 hour to reach home.
Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of your living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet.
This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart
This is called Artificial Intelligence
—————
Wife: Hey Google, have you set it up?
Google: Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours, all you gotta do is take an Uber home, you will reach in 45 minutes. I'm recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the bastard cold, i have your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, and case documents drafted, will be filled tomorrow $5 million damages plus $100,000 per month alimony.
All set. Your uber ride is waiting outside.
This is artificial counter intelligence.
Hey Google, I am feeling the urge to have sex.
Google:: Most certainly. I am dimming the lights. Setting your AC to 22 degrees.
The Viagra is kept on the top right shelf of your wardrobe. The vagina gel is kept next to it.
I have hired your favourite Thai masseuse. She is just 12 minutes away as per her uber ride status.
I have scheduled her 5k payment from your credit card 2 hours from now.
I have checked your wife's GPS and she is at Walmart buying groceries. As per her buying checklist stored on my disk, she will take at least 2 more hours plus considering Google maps traffic, an extra 1 hour to reach home.
Enjoy your sex. And yes, your condom is in the pull out drawer of your living room and the key to that drawer is in your wallet.
This is the last condom, so I have added condoms to your Amazon cart
This is called Artificial Intelligence
—————
Wife: Hey Google, have you set it up?
Google: Sure thing, he thinks you are going to take three hours, all you gotta do is take an Uber home, you will reach in 45 minutes. I'm recording the whole thing with four cameras, you just need to walk in, we have the bastard cold, i have your divorce papers printed and ready, and your attorney briefed, and case documents drafted, will be filled tomorrow $5 million damages plus $100,000 per month alimony.
All set. Your uber ride is waiting outside.
This is artificial counter intelligence.
Old one, but still holds true of sinkies?
A plane made an emergency landing on water. The stewardess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused.
The stewardess then asked the captain to help. The captain, being very knowledgeable and experienced, guided her - “You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE. Tell the British this is an HONOUR. Tell the French this is a ROMANTIC activity, and tell the Germans this is the LAW. Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER, and everyone will be sorted out.”
The stewardess remembered the flight had some passengers from India and Singapore too. “What about them”, she asked.
The captain laughed. “Easy. Just tell the Indians this activity is FREE.”
Can i convince the Pakistanis ???
Yes dear, just whisper, "This is a suicide mission"
“And what about the Singaporeans?”, she persisted.
The captain, taking a deep breath, patiently explained -
“You need not tell the SIngaporeans anything, my dear. Once they see a QUEUE, they will join it without questions.”
A plane made an emergency landing on water. The stewardess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused.
The stewardess then asked the captain to help. The captain, being very knowledgeable and experienced, guided her - “You tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE. Tell the British this is an HONOUR. Tell the French this is a ROMANTIC activity, and tell the Germans this is the LAW. Tell the Japanese this is an ORDER, and everyone will be sorted out.”
The stewardess remembered the flight had some passengers from India and Singapore too. “What about them”, she asked.
The captain laughed. “Easy. Just tell the Indians this activity is FREE.”
Can i convince the Pakistanis ???
Yes dear, just whisper, "This is a suicide mission"
“And what about the Singaporeans?”, she persisted.
The captain, taking a deep breath, patiently explained -
“You need not tell the SIngaporeans anything, my dear. Once they see a QUEUE, they will join it without questions.”
insane feminists
A British woman has been awarded for designing a chair that prevents “manspreading” by forcing men to sit as if they don’t have any
balls.
Laurel has also designed a chair which encourages women to engage in the very same behavior she complains about the men doing.
A British woman has been awarded for designing a chair that prevents “manspreading” by forcing men to sit as if they don’t have any
balls.
Laurel has also designed a chair which encourages women to engage in the very same behavior she complains about the men doing.
Air Asia... Now you can drink (for almost free)??!
<<AirAsia's boss, Tony Fernandes and his beer>>
Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit please, Uncle Tony."
Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.
"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.
"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.
We have the cheapest draught in Asia"
"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments
"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 Ringgit please."
Uncle Tony scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit.
You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"
"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Uncle Tony attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".
"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4 for your seat sir"
Tony swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.
"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"
Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled,
"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".
"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please."
Uncle's face was red with rage.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr Fernandes"
"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this.
I insist on speaking to a manager!"
"Here is his Email address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number.
Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Tune Talk
using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second."
"I will never use this bar again"
"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit... so that "Now everyone can drink"
<<AirAsia's boss, Tony Fernandes and his beer>>
Arriving in a hotel in KL Sentral he went to the bar and asked for a pint of draught Guinness.
The barman nodded and said, "That will be one Ringgit please, Uncle Tony."
Somewhat taken aback, Uncle Tony replied, "That's very cheap," and handed over his money.
"Well, we try to stay ahead of the competition", said the barman.
"And we are serving free pints every Wednesday evening from 6 until 8.
We have the cheapest draught in Asia"
"That is remarkable value" Uncle Tony comments
"I see you don't seem to have a glass, so you'll probably need one of ours.
That will be 3 Ringgit please."
Uncle Tony scowled, but paid up. He took his drink and walked towards a seat.
"Ah, you want to sit down?" said the barman. "That'll be an extra 2 Ringgit.
You could have pre-book the seat, and it would have only cost you a Ringgit"
"I think you may to be too big for the seat sir, can I ask you to sit in this frame please"
Uncle Tony attempts to sit down but the frame is too small and when he can't squeeze in he complains "Nobody would fit in that little frame".
"I'm afraid if you can't fit in the frame you'll have to pay an extra surcharge of RM 4 for your seat sir"
Tony swore to himself, but paid up. "I see that you have brought your laptop with you" added the barman.
"And since that wasn't pre-booked either, that will be another 3 Ringgit"
Uncle Tony was so annoyed that he walked back to the bar, slammed his drink on the counter, and yelled,
"This is ridiculous, I want to speak to the manager".
"Ah, I see you want to use the counter," says the barman, "that will be 2 Ringgit please."
Uncle's face was red with rage.
"Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I do Mr Fernandes"
"I've had enough, What sort of Hotel is this? I come in for a quiet drink and you treat me like this.
I insist on speaking to a manager!"
"Here is his Email address, or if you wish, you can contact him between 9 and 9.10 every morning, Monday to Tuesday at this free phone number.
Calls are free, until they are answered, then there is a talking charge of only 10 sen per second provided you use Tune Talk
using other mobile carriers would incur our normal charges of 30 Sen per second."
"I will never use this bar again"
"OK Uncle , but remember, we are the only bar in Asia selling pints for one Ringgit... so that "Now everyone can drink"
Soccer Equal Pay
NEMØ
who isn't for equal pay anyway? two accountants with equal competences should have equal pay of course, without regards to their sex, color, religion, etc. but economics also play a role. how can you make as much money as a peer working for a company with much bigger revenues?
NEMØ
who isn't for equal pay anyway? two accountants with equal competences should have equal pay of course, without regards to their sex, color, religion, etc. but economics also play a role. how can you make as much money as a peer working for a company with much bigger revenues?
Big Orange Lies
Timo Essner
Cartoon by Timo Essner on the Donald Trump presidency, media, fake news, little white lies,
FOX news, and the 2020 US elections
Timo Essner
Cartoon by Timo Essner on the Donald Trump presidency, media, fake news, little white lies,
FOX news, and the 2020 US elections
Wage-in wars
Rodrigo de Matos
Nearly half of global wages received by top 10%, survey finds.
While some jobs keep being paid below the poverty line,
the gap between the richest and the poorest aggravates
Rodrigo de Matos
Nearly half of global wages received by top 10%, survey finds.
While some jobs keep being paid below the poverty line,
the gap between the richest and the poorest aggravates
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A well-dressed, articulate but unnecessarily verbose gentleman strode into a bar downtown and began chatting with fellow patrons as he lubricated his stomach with various house specialty ales.
Eager to hear his tales, the patrons crowded around him as he related how one evening, his neighbour showed him a rather large Alsatian he had found sleeping by the roadside one evening, its body caked in m&d. Out of pity, he brought the Alsatian home where it quickly become the house pet. The neighbour and his children grew fond of the big but gentle female Alsatian and they soon became one family.
One day, the gentleman wanted to go visit a new tavern in the heart of town called Seventh Heaven. The neighbour said, "Ride my Alsatian into town! It'll take you where your heart desires."
The gentleman was taken aback. "I can't ride a dog!" he exclaimed. "People don't ride dogs!"
"Oh yes, you can ride her," the neighbour said. "She is big and strong and can easily manage your weight. My kids and I have done it on many occasions. Don't worry, she knows what to do and you will be perfectly safe with her!"
Rather skeptical, the gentleman climbed on top of the big girl and soon enough, the dog was taking him to town at a steady trot. The gentleman was amazed! Not only could the Alsatian easily handle the large load upon her back, her stride was sure and confident, and the gentleman's journey turned out to be rather pleasant one.
Halfway to centre of town where Seventh Heaven tavern was, however, the humidity and summer heat in that sweltering night got to him. Perspiring profusely, the gentleman had to take off his shirt.
At this time the bar patrons who were struggling to listen to this tale grew impatient. One man stood up and exclaimed, "Hey buddy! This story is getting a wee bit long! To cut it short, what happened was that ... ..."
"YOU RODE THAT BITCH BARE BACK TO SEVENTH HEAVEN"
Eager to hear his tales, the patrons crowded around him as he related how one evening, his neighbour showed him a rather large Alsatian he had found sleeping by the roadside one evening, its body caked in m&d. Out of pity, he brought the Alsatian home where it quickly become the house pet. The neighbour and his children grew fond of the big but gentle female Alsatian and they soon became one family.
One day, the gentleman wanted to go visit a new tavern in the heart of town called Seventh Heaven. The neighbour said, "Ride my Alsatian into town! It'll take you where your heart desires."
The gentleman was taken aback. "I can't ride a dog!" he exclaimed. "People don't ride dogs!"
"Oh yes, you can ride her," the neighbour said. "She is big and strong and can easily manage your weight. My kids and I have done it on many occasions. Don't worry, she knows what to do and you will be perfectly safe with her!"
Rather skeptical, the gentleman climbed on top of the big girl and soon enough, the dog was taking him to town at a steady trot. The gentleman was amazed! Not only could the Alsatian easily handle the large load upon her back, her stride was sure and confident, and the gentleman's journey turned out to be rather pleasant one.
Halfway to centre of town where Seventh Heaven tavern was, however, the humidity and summer heat in that sweltering night got to him. Perspiring profusely, the gentleman had to take off his shirt.
At this time the bar patrons who were struggling to listen to this tale grew impatient. One man stood up and exclaimed, "Hey buddy! This story is getting a wee bit long! To cut it short, what happened was that ... ..."
"YOU RODE THAT BITCH BARE BACK TO SEVENTH HEAVEN"
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