Mar 8 2016
Friends & Boys
I was engaged in a hearty and spirited debate with my best friend, Sue, yesterday, over dinner and drinks at Chijmes. She said she is leading a fabulous social life, having many friends, online and offline.
I reiterated fervidly that it is not quantity that matters ~ but quality friendships.
She somewhat disagreed. She insisted that having more friends equate, or generally correlate to a better quantitative and qualitative social life. She said ~ and I remember this vividly even now as I pen this post ~ “…with connections thru my friends, I gain much more …”.
Well, we agree to disagree for the sake of our best friendship for years since school days where we would giggle and ogle at cute rugby and swimming boys from ACS and RI.
Well, to side-track a little, you can call me an elitist. I believe that most of the neighbourhood school boys just couldn't make the cut, in terms of intelligence, wealth, gentlemanly conduct, or simply the way they dress and or speak.
To me (even back then), a secondary school boy who cannot articulate well is probably one that is (most likely) unable to convince others about his point of view, much less able to make it to the above average echelon of wage earners in this globalised world. The "lahs", "this one", "that one", "meh", “leh”, "I think", “this hor”, “that hor”, “Jirow”, etc … “murdered” any little interest I had in them, even when I was a 16 years old girl.
Look no further than this forum. I see a lot of these characters who behave like ruffians and duds from both "warring" factions in this forum the last few days. I have been in and out of here, refrain from making any post, as it will be meaningless for anyone to seriously digest anything, if at all, with all these louts parading their inane and obtuse remarks one after another. And yes, I do mind my online pen name being dragged through the m&d, which is why I stayed away, occasionally popping in to see if this incongruous insanity has ceased. Today, it seems “quieter” and hopefully will stay as such.
I wonder if we can "exorcise" these dysfunctional and degenerative men (probably and most likely neighbourhood school boys) in this forum. I doubt, as it would involve "cremating" these crass freaks and wasting precious resources we have on this planet. Even the pyre used for incinerating bodies is more precious than what is left in the grey matter between their ears.
I guess when a person has low intellect, downtrodden and writing like an octopedal mutant, responding to every senseless challenge ∼ they are usually devoid of a brain of their own, probably having nothing to lose, not even the little reputation (if any) that they may have. So be it. Do continue your drivel and continue swimming down in the bottomless black hole of muddy turd where you probably feel most comfortable at home.
My apologies for being brutally honest, but I absolutely believe that learning and development when young is critical and directly proportionate to one's future success. Of course there would be exceptions, but they are few and far between. You can't expect us, women, to gamble away our lifelong stability and comfort, hoping that a neighbourhood school boy falls into these few and rare exception cases.
Look at the men here, yes, right here in this forum ∼ behaving like some of these single cell diseased amoeba mutants, bent on revenge, spamming and passing egotistically redundant comments, parading their “paid conquests” over women as some prized trophy . I really pity the women that have been hitched with them all these years.
Well, relying on luck to be with the correct man is never my forte and I would always advise young girls whom I meet not to do so as well. I often tell them that it is important to start on a good grounding, for instance, why start with a man with a Toyota when there are BMW, Audi, Merc and Bentleys around. The lower the category strata you start with a man, the "upgrade" becomes more challenging in future. Most never make it. Such is life. Call me an elite, bitch or a snob. It really doesn't matter. It is your prerogative.
Well, back to the crux of my post. More or less friends? Which is better?
Unlike Sue, I believe in having less friends who are close, dependable and most important ~ trusted confidants of my inner self ∼ my likes, dislikes, fears, etc.
With my closest knit of few friends, we are ourselves. We speak the same "language". We have our own jargons that no one understand but us. For instance, even our monthly visitation of cramps is denoted as "I can't do spa this week, I am "panging".
I guess one of the most important and pertinent reason why I have few close friends is trust. For instance, with Sue, I can be who I am.
I can curse, swear and even degrade a man whom I met to a diabolical obtuse toad or a woman colleague to a dry-skinned scleroderma infected albino lizard. And I am sure this devious gossip stays within us, and no one else. We can also chat about how we “placate” the men we are with, exchanging views without the risk of being labelled as some “economy’ girls.
Last but not least, we can agree to disagree without rocking the foundation of our years of friendship, even on this very issue of whether more or few friends is better.
I am sure you have your views. Hopefully, I can learn from some of your experiences. I believe that there are handful of guys here who are sensible and level headed, having the intellect with decent articulation to challenge my views. If so, please do.
PS : Forgive me for the “flippant” subject header. I had meant to write about “Friends”, solely based on my discussion with Sue last night, but couldn’t help myself when I see so much drivel the last few days.
I just couldn’t help myself from deviating while writing this piece. When I finished, I thought “Friends and Boys” is probably more “apt” than otherwise.
Apologies and have an awesome week ahead.
