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Mum heartbroken after son takes his life weeks after break-up: 'We'd prepared $60k for his wedding and BTO'
They were together for eight years before the break-up. POSED PHOTO: TNP
Farah Daley
PublishedNov 6, 2025, 10:05am
Submitted by Madam Tan
A mother has shared her heartbreak after her only son took his life weeks after his eight-year relationship ended and he was made to cancel his Build-To-Order (BTO) flat.
The 29-year-old man and his girlfriend, also 29, had been together since their polytechnic days and were planning to move into their new home between June and August 2026.
But according to his mother, Stomper Madam Tan, everything changed when the relationship ended in late July 2025.
"They were together for eight years," she said. "The BTO was going to be ready next year.
"We had already prepared $50,000 for renovation and $10,000 for the wedding.
"She made him cancel their BTO before officially breaking up.
"His whole world collapsed."
She said her son attempted suicide the day after the break-up on July 28 but was rescued in time.
"We tried to distract him with a cruise and a Shanghai trip," she said. "But he couldn't get over it. Eventually, he took his life on Sept 6."
The family, still reeling from the loss, has not told his 92-year-old grandmother what happened.
"Now that he is gone, we have no one to carry our family tree down," Madam Tan said. "The trauma of finding your loved one like that - it's something no parent should ever face."
Her son, who held a Diploma in Mechatronics from Temasek Polytechnic, later pursued aerospace engineering at Nanyang Technological University but left after two years when home-based study during Covid-19 proved difficult.
He worked as an engineering technician at Applied Materials for three years, where he received a performance award, and was described as thrifty and responsible.
"He wasn't ambitious, but he was a good son," Madam Tan said. "He did Lalamove and even changed jobs in May to please her, though it wasn't suitable.
"I was against it because riding a motorbike for deliveries is dangerous.
"He had over $200,000 in savings and investments.
"He never dated another girl. He was sincere and loyal. What more did she want?"
The mother said she could not understand why the girlfriend decided to end things after so many years together.
"My take is, why wait till so late to realise he's not good enough?" she asked. "Why still talk about weddings with us if you already have doubts?
"She even came for Chinese New Year gatherings."
Madam Tan added that her son would have inherited the family's assets as their only child.
"We're in our mid-60s," she said. "Once we're gone, everything would have gone to him - even our car.
"His grandma still asks when he's coming to visit."
In a message seen by Stomp, the girlfriend explained that she ended the relationship after years of "emotional exhaustion", saying she had tried to encourage him to improve himself but no longer felt they shared the same outlook in life.
"With all due respect, I've come to notice that [he] tends to give up when things become difficult - whether in studies or work," she wrote.
"I didn't want to get married when I already had these concerns. I've been hoping and waiting for him to outgrow them over the past eight years, but there hasn't been any change."
She expressed sorrow for the break-up and asked the mother to "watch over him", saying she feared he might not understand her reasons.
Madam Tan said her son had felt "useless" in his final note, and she believes more could have been done to help couples handle the emotional fallout from a break-up.
"HDB doesn't have a counselling service for couples who cancel their BTO," she said. "Every couple sees it as a final step toward marriage. Maybe if there was support, things could have turned out differently."
She said over 100 friends and colleagues attended his wake.
"If he was a bad person, would so many have come? Seriously, I am still in shock - what did she see as a bad trait in my son?"
HELPLINES
Mental well-being- Institute of Mental Health's Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222 (24 hours)
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