When it comes to romance, we all like a happy ending — which is what makes a new blog by an older, single woman such a heart-wrenching read.
The woman, who is divorced but says she would love to be married again, describes herself as being ‘on the wrong side of 45 with a brace of kids’ and bewails her place in ‘relationship no-man’s land’, condemned to be alone for the rest of her days.
She writes under the name ‘The Plankton’, explaining that, like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’. Her outpourings, which convey with unflinching honesty the huge difficulties older women can face finding a man, have caused quite a stir on women’s internet chat forums. They have certainly proved a talking point among my single women friends.
‘I always had boyfriends when I was younger and assumed I would again after James was born,’ she says. ‘When he was three, I started chatting online. These chats were fun — and sometimes quite flirty — but if I ever suggested we meet, the men would often back off, saying they were not looking for a relationship.’
A dozen or so dates followed over the years, none of them quite right. When she last registered with an online dating site she was 44 — and few men made contact. ‘Forty is a huge cut-off point for a lot of men,’ Ruthie explains. ‘There was just one I met and we had a fantastic evening. I was surprised afterwards when he didn’t get in touch.
In a report entitled The Case For An Older Woman, it states that 45-year-olds have a much harder time finding romance because ‘the male fixation on youth distorts the dating pool’.
These attitudes explain why many over-45s — including The Plankton — describe themselves as ‘invisible’ to the opposite sex. Charlotte Phipps is divorced and lives in Newmarket, Suffolk. Aged 53, she works as a secretary. ‘The hardest time for me is when I come home from work at six o’clock,’ she says.
‘My two terriers run barking to greet me, but apart from them, there is silence. I own a lovely two- bedroomed cottage with a beautiful garden, which I enjoy, but night after night I sit on my own watching TV. It is incredibly boring and I am lonely. Whenever I go out, men do not tend to look at me. I’ve lost a lot of confidence.’
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2022102/Why-struggle-single-women-45-meet-soulmate.html
